- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
FFS, Hamber. Could you do ANYthing remotely like get out of the fucking stankpartment for something other than rampant consumerism?
This is the perfect time of the year to be outside in the south. Goddamn, this earth is wasted on and by you, pig. More importantly
WASH YOUR GREASY, NASTY HAIR, YOU UTTER SWINE!
TL;W/R: Hamber get ready for therapy #10 (of 12). Hamber do more homework. Hamber open Amazon boxes: more muumuus, balloons, (correction: not dandruff shampoo, some kind of scalp scrubber for dandruff.). Hamber play balloons with MG,W. Hamber heat up leftover pasta. Hamber take shower. Hamber not wash hair. WASABI! Hamber had pneumonia. Hamber boring.
This is the perfect time of the year to be outside in the south. Goddamn, this earth is wasted on and by you, pig. More importantly
WASH YOUR GREASY, NASTY HAIR, YOU UTTER SWINE!
Hamber's looking rough, y'all. 525 my entire ass.
Anyway, she's getting ready for notch number 10 on the therapy board. Just two more and you get atoaster air fryer rice cooker mandoline whatever the fuck next appliance there is that you stuff in a cabinet somewhere and never use.
Claims to not want to talk AT ALL, and that's a lah, Hamber, we know you are your own favorite subject. She wishes she could just snap her fingers (snap) and be done, which, curiously, is exactly the same thing she said about WLS (plus three months). Nothing says "I;m willing to do anything it takes to reach my goal" like wishing vast swaths of time and work into oblivion.
"Therapy went good." Never change, GrammarHamber, never change.
MG,W is lisening to music via headphones because Hamber doesn't want to get a strike. Going out on a limb here and saying MG,W doesn't want to listen to you wqueeeeaaallll and cackle you way through yet another video where nothing happens.
FFS, more of this homework crap. I wrote less in upper level lit classes.
Blah blah blah. Zoned out here because she's once again doing this whole surface/deep level therapy shit.
She's now assigning anthropomorph status to her teeth, which are revolting against staying in her mouth - something we can surely sympathize with, no doubt - versus them rotting away because she doesn't do anything she's supposed to do. Like take her hormones! Since the lack of hormones can cause bones to become soft and spongy just like your outsides, Hamber, you are willfully contributing to the demise of whatever dental health you have left. On the plus side, once you lose enough teeth or have enough pulled to the point you need bridges or dentures, you can totally justify swallowing your food whole like the whale you are by blaming it on muh dentalz.
She claims she's going to go to the dentist. Lemme guess: the dentist doesn't take insurance, like the so-called shrink you're seeing.
Amazon crap she doesn't need. More muumuus. (Correction: not dandruff shampoo, some kind of scalp scrubber for dandruff.) She doesn't understand why Amazon doesn't ship everything in the same box, because she ordered it all at the same time. Well, 140IQHamber, allow me to explain, in words you can understand. Ahem...
AMAZON DOESN'T STOCK EVERY FUCKING PRODUCT AT EVERY FUCKING WAREHOUSE, YOU FUCKING RETARD.
You're welcome. She also bought balloons because she and MG,W like to play volletyball in the house. Somehow, I think this is "Me and MG,W poked a balloon back and forth to another while teasing the animals, so we just do that allll the time as far as you guise are concerned!" Right. Like doing Lego kits together or playing board games or having sexytimes approximately twenty times a day.
She just tried to do some kind of skat thing, and it sounds exactly like you think it would. She's leaning on the counter and out of breath just from that, it appears, or maybe it was the exertion of getting up off her shelf ass. Whatever thec ase, it's clear she is not doing any exercise whatsoever.
She badgered MG,W to participate in a balloon-blowing contest and....wait, I am told it is a balloon blowing UP contest, sorry about that. Remember when you got that little karaoke microphone for your sister's three year old as a gift that year, thinking you'd be gone long before the kid would be playing with it, only to find that your sister didn't appreciate you attempting to make your escape, making you sit back down, between your great aunt Sylvia ("Call me Syl, everyone does!") and said three year old toddler right when the toddler figured out that you'd already put batteries in the thing so she could begin belting out "Let it Go" from Frozen on repeat?
Yeah, it's like that.
Hamber blows up her balloon the size of a beach ball and declares it the perfect size. Makes MG,W tie off the balloon because of course Hamber and her fat sausage fingers on her balloon hands can't. They use both balloons, and Hamber's out of breath in the span of under 100 seconds, so that wraps up the stankpartment volleyball. Moving on!
Welcome back to 3rd grade arts and craft everyone! They've made ooblek, and I'd bet every dime in my bank account Hamber has no idea WTF that is. She explains it's a mix of water and cornstarch that when you touch it, it feels hard, but it isn't. She also doesn't know why the fuck that's the case, and I'm not here to try to explain physics to someone who doesn't believe the moon landings happen but does believe in chemtrails.
She just now pronounced it as ooo-blaohnk and I stg...Great. bonus footage of Hamber wiping her beetus balloon paw on the back of MG,W's hand, and MG,W returning the favor by dripping ooblek on the back of Hamber's, causing Hamber to screech BAYYYY-BEEEE. Fuck off, losers.
Next day.
Hamber's having leftovers. Pasta in vodka sauce. But no one in the house drinks. LOL That's some dry ass pasta. She's wearing one of her new muumuus. Boy, that weight must be a dire situation.
Blah blah. I'm taking a break from YouTube. But not IG - yeah, we know, haha, Density's videos must grind your gears. Says she doesn't know what her upload schedule will look like. Same as it always does: like shit, because there's nothing new. Guess it's time to brainstorm the next arc.
Tries to convince us she showers regularly again, getting her shit out to get in and let some water run over her long enough to get the surface grime off. Good luck. Or maybe MG,W pointed out that Hamber should
WASH THAT GREASY, NASTY HAIR
so she flounced off as well as a whale can. Whatever.
Wasabi sighting.
Still didn't wash that fucking hair. That poop bun has to smell like an overflowing sewer at the height of a Lexington summer.
Says she had "acute pneumonia" due to that "lung thing". Still claims to have a little of that "lung thing" happening, despite being on the last pill if the antibiotic course. Says she was told that "once you have pneumonia it's easier for you to get it again" and no, you dumbass, that is not how it works. Know what DOES increase your chances of getting repeat rounds? Things like not completing a full round of antibiotics. Having a compromised immune system due to injury or disease. Aspirating food or other substances - if you, say, happened to swallow bits of potato down into your trachea and you tend to swallow whole or partial foodstuffs without sufficient time for your larynx to close properly on a regular basis. Never leaving home on a regular basis and having a housemate who does bringing back all sorts of little surprises that may be nothing to them. And so on.
This bitch still thinks she's going to be getting WLS after that 12th notch of therapy is done. She's super excited - I swear to fuck I'm going to send her a thesaurus.
Noted physician DoctorLynn Medicine Woman says she feels fine, it's just when she breathes in (she takes a breath here) "...it feels like there's fluid in it. That's just the best way to put it." Really? How the fuck would you know what it feels like?
She blathers on about how she didn't say anything out of embarrassment? WTF?
I'm glad this is the end because this is Hamber either being so deliberately obtuse and annoying she is that three year old you bought the karaoke mic for OR she is even dumber than I thought, in all seriousness.
See you later (heart) end card. No kissy noises for your viewers? Sad.
Anyway, she's getting ready for notch number 10 on the therapy board. Just two more and you get a
Claims to not want to talk AT ALL, and that's a lah, Hamber, we know you are your own favorite subject. She wishes she could just snap her fingers (snap) and be done, which, curiously, is exactly the same thing she said about WLS (plus three months). Nothing says "I;m willing to do anything it takes to reach my goal" like wishing vast swaths of time and work into oblivion.
"Therapy went good." Never change, GrammarHamber, never change.
MG,W is lisening to music via headphones because Hamber doesn't want to get a strike. Going out on a limb here and saying MG,W doesn't want to listen to you wqueeeeaaallll and cackle you way through yet another video where nothing happens.
FFS, more of this homework crap. I wrote less in upper level lit classes.
Blah blah blah. Zoned out here because she's once again doing this whole surface/deep level therapy shit.
She's now assigning anthropomorph status to her teeth, which are revolting against staying in her mouth - something we can surely sympathize with, no doubt - versus them rotting away because she doesn't do anything she's supposed to do. Like take her hormones! Since the lack of hormones can cause bones to become soft and spongy just like your outsides, Hamber, you are willfully contributing to the demise of whatever dental health you have left. On the plus side, once you lose enough teeth or have enough pulled to the point you need bridges or dentures, you can totally justify swallowing your food whole like the whale you are by blaming it on muh dentalz.
She claims she's going to go to the dentist. Lemme guess: the dentist doesn't take insurance, like the so-called shrink you're seeing.
Amazon crap she doesn't need. More muumuus. (Correction: not dandruff shampoo, some kind of scalp scrubber for dandruff.) She doesn't understand why Amazon doesn't ship everything in the same box, because she ordered it all at the same time. Well, 140IQHamber, allow me to explain, in words you can understand. Ahem...
AMAZON DOESN'T STOCK EVERY FUCKING PRODUCT AT EVERY FUCKING WAREHOUSE, YOU FUCKING RETARD.
You're welcome. She also bought balloons because she and MG,W like to play volletyball in the house. Somehow, I think this is "Me and MG,W poked a balloon back and forth to another while teasing the animals, so we just do that allll the time as far as you guise are concerned!" Right. Like doing Lego kits together or playing board games or having sexytimes approximately twenty times a day.
She just tried to do some kind of skat thing, and it sounds exactly like you think it would. She's leaning on the counter and out of breath just from that, it appears, or maybe it was the exertion of getting up off her shelf ass. Whatever thec ase, it's clear she is not doing any exercise whatsoever.
She badgered MG,W to participate in a balloon-blowing contest and....wait, I am told it is a balloon blowing UP contest, sorry about that. Remember when you got that little karaoke microphone for your sister's three year old as a gift that year, thinking you'd be gone long before the kid would be playing with it, only to find that your sister didn't appreciate you attempting to make your escape, making you sit back down, between your great aunt Sylvia ("Call me Syl, everyone does!") and said three year old toddler right when the toddler figured out that you'd already put batteries in the thing so she could begin belting out "Let it Go" from Frozen on repeat?
Yeah, it's like that.
Hamber blows up her balloon the size of a beach ball and declares it the perfect size. Makes MG,W tie off the balloon because of course Hamber and her fat sausage fingers on her balloon hands can't. They use both balloons, and Hamber's out of breath in the span of under 100 seconds, so that wraps up the stankpartment volleyball. Moving on!
Welcome back to 3rd grade arts and craft everyone! They've made ooblek, and I'd bet every dime in my bank account Hamber has no idea WTF that is. She explains it's a mix of water and cornstarch that when you touch it, it feels hard, but it isn't. She also doesn't know why the fuck that's the case, and I'm not here to try to explain physics to someone who doesn't believe the moon landings happen but does believe in chemtrails.
She just now pronounced it as ooo-blaohnk and I stg...Great. bonus footage of Hamber wiping her beetus balloon paw on the back of MG,W's hand, and MG,W returning the favor by dripping ooblek on the back of Hamber's, causing Hamber to screech BAYYYY-BEEEE. Fuck off, losers.
Next day.
Hamber's having leftovers. Pasta in vodka sauce. But no one in the house drinks. LOL That's some dry ass pasta. She's wearing one of her new muumuus. Boy, that weight must be a dire situation.
Blah blah. I'm taking a break from YouTube. But not IG - yeah, we know, haha, Density's videos must grind your gears. Says she doesn't know what her upload schedule will look like. Same as it always does: like shit, because there's nothing new. Guess it's time to brainstorm the next arc.
Tries to convince us she showers regularly again, getting her shit out to get in and let some water run over her long enough to get the surface grime off. Good luck. Or maybe MG,W pointed out that Hamber should
WASH THAT GREASY, NASTY HAIR
so she flounced off as well as a whale can. Whatever.
Wasabi sighting.
Still didn't wash that fucking hair. That poop bun has to smell like an overflowing sewer at the height of a Lexington summer.
Says she had "acute pneumonia" due to that "lung thing". Still claims to have a little of that "lung thing" happening, despite being on the last pill if the antibiotic course. Says she was told that "once you have pneumonia it's easier for you to get it again" and no, you dumbass, that is not how it works. Know what DOES increase your chances of getting repeat rounds? Things like not completing a full round of antibiotics. Having a compromised immune system due to injury or disease. Aspirating food or other substances - if you, say, happened to swallow bits of potato down into your trachea and you tend to swallow whole or partial foodstuffs without sufficient time for your larynx to close properly on a regular basis. Never leaving home on a regular basis and having a housemate who does bringing back all sorts of little surprises that may be nothing to them. And so on.
This bitch still thinks she's going to be getting WLS after that 12th notch of therapy is done. She's super excited - I swear to fuck I'm going to send her a thesaurus.
Noted physician DoctorLynn Medicine Woman says she feels fine, it's just when she breathes in (she takes a breath here) "...it feels like there's fluid in it. That's just the best way to put it." Really? How the fuck would you know what it feels like?
She blathers on about how she didn't say anything out of embarrassment? WTF?
I'm glad this is the end because this is Hamber either being so deliberately obtuse and annoying she is that three year old you bought the karaoke mic for OR she is even dumber than I thought, in all seriousness.
See you later (heart) end card. No kissy noises for your viewers? Sad.
TL;W/R: Hamber get ready for therapy #10 (of 12). Hamber do more homework. Hamber open Amazon boxes: more muumuus, balloons, (correction: not dandruff shampoo, some kind of scalp scrubber for dandruff.). Hamber play balloons with MG,W. Hamber heat up leftover pasta. Hamber take shower. Hamber not wash hair. WASABI! Hamber had pneumonia. Hamber boring.
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