- Joined
- Aug 21, 2022
Plot Summary with Commentary. I'm slightly unhinged enough to attempt this. Okay, I predict that this will be a bullshit vlog of absolutely no substance that follows the exact same script as her other: Bullshit 'hauls' of crap she doesn't need, blabbing about books she didn't really read, food, talking about food, complaining, and random squealing and abnoxious noises. Alright, let's GO!
TL;DR: Amber buys more stuff. Amber bitches about her audience. Amber clears off the counter in her bathroom. Amber warns that her content will continue to be this same boring shit. Oddly enough, no food content.
Sitting at the standing desk: "Hello hello hello". It's 9:14am (with no mention of DATE), and she's taken less than 300 steps.
She was exhausted mentally and physically yesterday, but thinks she is better today (my magic 8Ball predicts that despite this, she won't hit her 4000 step goal today, either).
Talks about TV shows: Fuller House, Grey's Anatomy. I must say, Amber is somewhat passionate about the storylines and influx of characters on Grey's Anatomy - if only she'd show such interest in her own life.
JUMPCUT!! Standing at the kitchen island: BAAAAAD angle, as she looks like Stay-Puff from GhostBusters. TARJAY HAUL!! Cotton rounds, Native brand body wash, Native deoderants x2, Sponge Daddy, Mascara, butterfly clips meant for a 4 year old (x2), 'It Ends With Us', 'Ugly Love', and 'Confess' books.
Amber keeps acting obnoxiously, then looks over for approval from her sidekick/gorlfriend Jafony Hilk (aka: Jade Francis of New York Hiding in Lexington Kentucky).
JUMPCUT!! Back sitting at the standing desk. butterfly clips are in her hair, while she eye-fucks herself in the viewfinder. Makes up a reason to bitch about her audience.
STILL talking about butterfly clips.
JUMPCUT!!! Still sitting at the standing desk. Diamond Art update. She starting a painting that's larger than her desk.
JUMPCUT!!! Standing in the bathroom. Her counter is piled with shit and is unusable again. Amber says this happens within a week of her cleaning it, every time. I swear I've seen 3 year olds who take better care of themselves.
More Amazon shit - clear shelves for the perfume bottles.
"TOE-LIT paper"
JUMPCUT!!! Tidy counter... but Amber's really concerned about exactly HOW she should be displaying her tacky perfume bottles. She's concerned that one way over the other makes it look "more clean and pristine". I say WHO CARES?! You've just admitted that it will be a trash dumping zone again within a week's time.
JUMPCUT!!! Sitting at the standing desk again.... while in her bra. Cuntily stares at the camera while saying "It's MY home". Yeah, but you're making us watch, which changes the rules. People shit in their toilets at home, but no one else wants that filmed and shown to them, either. I had to see it, so you do, too!
"I don't see why people are weird about bras, when they're fine about bikinis". We don't want to see you in a bikini, either.
Book update: Don't care.
JUMPCUT!!! Hours later, yet still in the same spot. Update on her mascara. Maybelline is better mascara than Better Than Sex mascara.... Ummm... okay.
3200 steps today. OBJECTIVE FAILED.
Would You Rather? Question a Day Calendar. Would you rather have a dog with the personality of a cat, or a cat with the personality of a dog? Amber has no answer. Rivetting content, Amber.
I'll answer! I'd pick a cat with the personality of a dog. I choose that because I don't think I could handle a giant Rotweiller trying to jump on top of my refridgerator, sliding across tables and knocking everything to the floor while chasing a fly, jumping on me to tag me 'it' from the top of a cabinet as I walk by, trying to climb the trunk of our Christmas tree, and taking massive shits in a tiny plastic box in my house. And don't forget the ATTITUDE! I think that cat personalities can be a little too chaotic to be in most dogs.
"Would you rather look old and feel young, or look young and feel old?" I'm guessing she'd rather EITHER, as right now I'm sure she LOOKS AND FEELS OLD.... Oh. Of course she chooses to look young and feel old. "Yeah, I'm fat but I'm pretty and that's all that matters", right Amber?
Bitching about her audience again and blaming them for her shit content. Her vlogs won't be like they were in the past because she's changed. She'd rather be surrounded by a few people who love her but don't want to be on camera than tons of people who want to be on camera but make her feel like crap. Cool, let us know when that actually happens, Ambo, as it's clear Jade DGAF about you.
This boring-ass shit will be her content from now on. Free advice for Amber (not that's she's gonna read it). If no one is going to be on your channel, and you aren't going to film yourself going anywhere, then DO SOMETHING in your videos. Focus on one or two topics and study so you know more than the average person about those things so they can learn from your channel. For example, one channel I watch is run by a guy named 'Robin'. You NEVER see him: you usually just see his keyboard and his computer screen. He does very detailed videos on 8-bit computers. The content is DEFINITELY NOT for everyone, but focus on a topic, and the viewers will find you.
Oh yeah, that requires actually WORKING. Sorry, Ambo, videos of you acting stupid like trying to figure out how mascara works, bitching about how hard your entitled life is, or watching you boil broccoli with 5 types of sodium just isn't appealing.
She was exhausted mentally and physically yesterday, but thinks she is better today (my magic 8Ball predicts that despite this, she won't hit her 4000 step goal today, either).
Talks about TV shows: Fuller House, Grey's Anatomy. I must say, Amber is somewhat passionate about the storylines and influx of characters on Grey's Anatomy - if only she'd show such interest in her own life.
JUMPCUT!! Standing at the kitchen island: BAAAAAD angle, as she looks like Stay-Puff from GhostBusters. TARJAY HAUL!! Cotton rounds, Native brand body wash, Native deoderants x2, Sponge Daddy, Mascara, butterfly clips meant for a 4 year old (x2), 'It Ends With Us', 'Ugly Love', and 'Confess' books.
Amber keeps acting obnoxiously, then looks over for approval from her sidekick/gorlfriend Jafony Hilk (aka: Jade Francis of New York Hiding in Lexington Kentucky).
JUMPCUT!! Back sitting at the standing desk. butterfly clips are in her hair, while she eye-fucks herself in the viewfinder. Makes up a reason to bitch about her audience.
STILL talking about butterfly clips.
JUMPCUT!!! Still sitting at the standing desk. Diamond Art update. She starting a painting that's larger than her desk.
JUMPCUT!!! Standing in the bathroom. Her counter is piled with shit and is unusable again. Amber says this happens within a week of her cleaning it, every time. I swear I've seen 3 year olds who take better care of themselves.
More Amazon shit - clear shelves for the perfume bottles.
"TOE-LIT paper"
JUMPCUT!!! Tidy counter... but Amber's really concerned about exactly HOW she should be displaying her tacky perfume bottles. She's concerned that one way over the other makes it look "more clean and pristine". I say WHO CARES?! You've just admitted that it will be a trash dumping zone again within a week's time.
JUMPCUT!!! Sitting at the standing desk again.... while in her bra. Cuntily stares at the camera while saying "It's MY home". Yeah, but you're making us watch, which changes the rules. People shit in their toilets at home, but no one else wants that filmed and shown to them, either. I had to see it, so you do, too!
"I don't see why people are weird about bras, when they're fine about bikinis". We don't want to see you in a bikini, either.
Book update: Don't care.
JUMPCUT!!! Hours later, yet still in the same spot. Update on her mascara. Maybelline is better mascara than Better Than Sex mascara.... Ummm... okay.
3200 steps today. OBJECTIVE FAILED.
Would You Rather? Question a Day Calendar. Would you rather have a dog with the personality of a cat, or a cat with the personality of a dog? Amber has no answer. Rivetting content, Amber.
I'll answer! I'd pick a cat with the personality of a dog. I choose that because I don't think I could handle a giant Rotweiller trying to jump on top of my refridgerator, sliding across tables and knocking everything to the floor while chasing a fly, jumping on me to tag me 'it' from the top of a cabinet as I walk by, trying to climb the trunk of our Christmas tree, and taking massive shits in a tiny plastic box in my house. And don't forget the ATTITUDE! I think that cat personalities can be a little too chaotic to be in most dogs.
"Would you rather look old and feel young, or look young and feel old?" I'm guessing she'd rather EITHER, as right now I'm sure she LOOKS AND FEELS OLD.... Oh. Of course she chooses to look young and feel old. "Yeah, I'm fat but I'm pretty and that's all that matters", right Amber?
Bitching about her audience again and blaming them for her shit content. Her vlogs won't be like they were in the past because she's changed. She'd rather be surrounded by a few people who love her but don't want to be on camera than tons of people who want to be on camera but make her feel like crap. Cool, let us know when that actually happens, Ambo, as it's clear Jade DGAF about you.
This boring-ass shit will be her content from now on. Free advice for Amber (not that's she's gonna read it). If no one is going to be on your channel, and you aren't going to film yourself going anywhere, then DO SOMETHING in your videos. Focus on one or two topics and study so you know more than the average person about those things so they can learn from your channel. For example, one channel I watch is run by a guy named 'Robin'. You NEVER see him: you usually just see his keyboard and his computer screen. He does very detailed videos on 8-bit computers. The content is DEFINITELY NOT for everyone, but focus on a topic, and the viewers will find you.
Oh yeah, that requires actually WORKING. Sorry, Ambo, videos of you acting stupid like trying to figure out how mascara works, bitching about how hard your entitled life is, or watching you boil broccoli with 5 types of sodium just isn't appealing.
TL;DR: Amber buys more stuff. Amber bitches about her audience. Amber clears off the counter in her bathroom. Amber warns that her content will continue to be this same boring shit. Oddly enough, no food content.
