🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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I watched the archive with no sound.
Jade Francis has awfully hairy fingers for a lady. How unfortunate for her.
Twinkie' so slim and trim now! Are we sure that's the same dog from a few years ago?
Amber keeps showing more and more of Jade. Interest in that has dwindled to nothing, no one cares.
OF COURSE Amber likes VC Andrews books. Poorly written incest porn with underage teens. Sounds right up her alley.
That gigantic tart lies about the most mundane thing. Take for instance the Celeste book which she claimed to have read before she was even 14 years of age. So that would be over 18 years ago and the book wasn’t published until March 2004.

Has she said bye bye to WW already? Eating fatty nuts, chocolate dipped cereal on the counter etc. She must be banking on getting approved for WLS.
 
Akshully you guise, Virginia Andrews died from breast cancer in 1986.
She only wrote My Sweet Audrina, Heaven, Dark Angel, Flowers In The Attic, Petals On The Wind, If There Be Thorns, and left notes for Garden Of Shadows and Fallen Hearts which was finished by a ghostwriter, Andrew Neiderman.

Andrew Neiderman wrote most of the VC Andrews books.

Amber likes novels written by a big stinky 'ol MAN! lol Love that for her.
 
Ah, I really hope Jade is some sort of pleasant comfort for Twink, Wasabi and Rarity. She's a shady fucker but Wasabi seems far calmer being held by her than being in the presence of HippoLynn.
 
I'm behind on Hamber because she's harder to watch than ever, but I have to know what this "Falene" nonsense is. Is she trying to make people think wipey isn't Jade Francis? Where does this name come from/how did they choose that particular name? Did Ham just start saying in a vlog with no explanation?
 
I'm behind on Hamber because she's harder to watch than ever, but I have to know what this "Falene" nonsense is. Is she trying to make people think wipey isn't Jade Francis? Where does this name come from/how did they choose that particular name? Did Ham just start saying in a vlog with no explanation?
I have no idea why Laine. I suspected it came from Bambi's crush in the book & movie & recently Amber changed her name on a social media site, (Twitter?) to something about Bambi.

Nothing frail or fawn-like about either of them!
 
I have no idea why Laine. I suspected it came from Bambi's crush in the book & movie & recently Amber changed her name on a social media site, (Twitter?) to something about Bambi.

Nothing frail or fawn-like about either of them!
You've got that right!! I appreciate the insight on this amber lore, makes a lot more sense now. Though somehow I think the better children's movie for Hamber to relate to would be Babe, Pig in the City...
 
Bambi and Faline are atrocities and both should be committed to mental institutions. Not one thing dainty about either of the fat fucks. "Pet names" is all that they are. Right, baaaaaayyyyybbbbeee?

That shit is gross. I mean, at least be honest. I'll tell my wife (occasionally) C'mon over here Sugarhips and gives me some luvin'. But these two? Gimme a fucking break. I do NOT grab my wife's tits at random. She'd fucking slap me and rightfully so. The pretend sexy bullshit between these two is obnoxious at best.

It's all an act. All of it. And it's failing miserably, whether because it's absolutely gross or absolutely fake, you decide.
 
I have no idea why Laine. I suspected it came from Bambi's crush in the book & movie & recently Amber changed her name on a social media site, (Twitter?) to something about Bambi.

Nothing frail or fawn-like about either of them!

I suspect the Bambi explanation is something that she just came up with. My theory is that originally the nickname was based on Feline in an attempt to throw people off Jades real name, and she came up with the Bambi backstory later.

That’s just my theory, based only on my gut reaction and the fact that Amber is a lying liar, but I feel pretty good about it.
 
I suspect the Bambi explanation is something that she just came up with. My theory is that originally the nickname was based on Feline in an attempt to throw people off Jades real name, and she came up with the Bambi backstory later.

That’s just my theory, based only on my gut reaction and the fact that Amber is a lying liar, but I feel pretty good about it.
Gonna disagree hard with ya here. Two retards watching "Bambi" and they became pet names for each other. It's no deeper than what I've said right here. It never is. Retards like these two miserable fucks have ZERO ability to plan and scheme anything beyond the next gross fat-sucked hickey prominently shown because "wild sex".

Excuse me.... gotta puke now. Maybe it's the drugs, maybe it's the liquor. Nope. It's just the gross mental images concurred up by this discussion.
 
Day 8 vlogmas, I’m getting behind and I don’t care.

How did Amber find time for ALL OF THESE ACTIVITIES in high school?

Jade plucked a rogue hair off her face. This is gross.

Why has she shown off her blinds every video this week?

Amber bought Jade a controller for the switch, and Jade had to lay down the law that this controller was HERS. I’m betting Amber usually keeps the best controllers and makes her use the shitty ones like a little brother.

HER BODY while getting the kitty treats out of the pantry. Her ass is shaped so strange like.

Also I don’t want to pat myself on the back or anything, but I noticed that Wasabi has purposely been focused on in every video since I called her out on it a while ago. You’re welcome, little buddy.

Now Amber is going to drive 16 hours away. Thought she couldn’t visit family because sitting in the car made her lymphadema legs explode or whatever?

Jade is trying to choke her from behind. Heh

Her arm fat jiggles as she dumps shit in the cooking pot. I’ve noticed new cuts on that arm.

What is the point of rinsing beans that come from a can? You rinse DRIED BEANS, DUMBASS.

She has a can of diced tomatoes, is she gonna drain and rinse those, too?

She said she wanted less soupy chili and then pours an entire bottle of chicken stock in it so whatever.

Wasabi PURRIN ON CAMERA. More cat purr ASMR pls

On her way to the homeless shelter now. Make sure people know that. It only counts if they do.

She’s showing off this awful crocodile print purse and brags about it being such a good deal at target.

And lol it takes her like a year to read a 300 page book.

She’s talking about this VC Andrews series that I’ve never heard of and don’t care about. Call me when she starts Wheel of Time. (Let’s be honest, she couldn’t even pronounce the character names in that series.)

The playdoh is back. My arch nemesis. She brags about not needing instructions for playdoh. I honestly can’t. That’s one hell of a flex.

Comment of the day means the video is over, so it’s my favorite. But this time she didn’t record it due to camera error….and yet was able to film her reaction to the comment. Make sure you get the important shots, right Amber?
 
Comment of the day means the video is over, so it’s my favorite. But this time she didn’t record it due to camera error….and yet was able to film her reaction to the comment. Make sure you get the important shots, right Amber?
I don't comment anywhere but here. But if I did, whoooooo- boy! Instantly be "Next!"
 
Ghastly thought, but I could actually see Jade calling Amber "Amby" as part of their vile daddy/little speak, and that devolving into Bambi. I can almost see it..
 

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Why the fuck would she spend 16 hours of a day driving to a bariatric surgeon when there are so many within 30 minutes of her? The initial process she's described is the process at Georgetown Bariatrics which is 12 miles from Lexington. Her supposedly famous (TV) surgeon is likely Dr Eric Smith and she's just trying to mislead her trolls. Then again, maybe she tried him last time so knows it's a futile option.

A 16 hour round trip including what she anticipates will be a very long intensive health appraisal (she said she spent hours answering the 360+ pysch questions last time even though most folk do that quiz in 15-20 minutes because you're not supposed to think about the answers) would put her in the vicinity of Beltline Bariatics...aka Dr Hottie Proctor. Regardless of who she's seeing she's going after a TLC 1000lb sisters surgeon and getting an appointment within a month isn't likely when said month includes Christmas and New Years.
 
The playdoh is back. My arch nemesis. She brags about not needing instructions for playdoh. I honestly can’t. That’s one hell of a flex.

Apparently there's a Lego masters type show for fucking play doh. It's more of a kids thing though. How long until "Amby" finds it and starts gushing about it.
Is playdoh going to be the new Legos. Ffs I hope it stops with the damn advent calendar.
Does she even know advent is a Christian concept?
I would love to see her talk about advent. Maybe she'll get a wreathe next and will light the candles too.
 
Why the fuck would she spend 16 hours of a day driving to a bariatric surgeon when there are so many within 30 minutes of her?
Because every single one of those has therapy/weight loss requirements that should be met prior to qualifying for surgery. And she's likely tried most/all of them and failed miserably.

She should just buy a row of seats in coach and fly to Mexico as @Turd Fergusson has suggested.
 
This isn't a reeecap - @Diet Coke 4 Life is back now. This is just a lowlight reel with commentary. 67% less Amber Filler with 100% of the snark!
TL;DR: Welcome to Phase 3.

WE WENT IN A CAVE, full day of eating, & christmas shopping 🎄 vlogmas day 9​


Amber gets a MASSIVE stack of 'scratch off' tickets as her present (half book, 76 tickets). Amber acts SO obnoxious and over the top. She's been obsessed with watching TikTokers who make videos of them scraching entire books of tickets. Just when I think that Amber can't make worse life choices... there you go. At this point, I actually think her life would OVERALL IMPROVE if she exchanged her current addictions for meth. This retard actually thinks this is a way to 'make money'. You know, I can tollerate - and even laugh - at a lot of really despicable shit that Amber does... but this scratch ticket thing is actually kinda grossing me out. Amber insists that she doesn't have it in her to become addicted to scratch tickets, HAHAHAHA!!! Her delusions are as bottomless as her stomach.

Oh yeah, this gift was 'meaningful' because of the 'back story' (and the backstory was that Amber likes watching TikTok videos of people scratching these tickets - puddle deep)

She films herself sitting on the toilet and peeing - and honestly, this is STILL less gross than the scratch ticket thing.

Amber's all uppity from all of the shit food she's been stuffing her face with, and pretends it's anxiety. Her cure to anxiety - find a cellphone game that makes you feel blissful. Amber admits to spending a ridiculous amount of money on cellphone games.

GLITCH IN THE MATRIX: Two identical cars on the highway, OMG!

Going to a cave for a light show in Louisville. "OMG I'm excited! Are you excited?!" They drove through the cave where all of the displays were. It looked interesting, but the whole time Amber wouldn't STFU. Afterwards they shop for more crap.

In the cave, Amber tells the story about how she learned Santa wasn't real: Amber was sleeping on the couch to catch Santa, and heard her pregnant mother yelling that her "water broke while setting down Santa's gifts". This story rings about as true as the story about her dad stealing a laptop from court.

"Full day of eating" [I call bullshit]: Leftover chili with a fuckton of cheese added, and a triple portion of cornbread with honey poured on. Jimmy Johns sub, BBQ chips, 2 large cookies (but later says she gave one to Jade). BJ's motz sticks, mashed potatoes, salmon and rice. [And of course you know you won't let that mountain of WW snacks or Ramen go to waste - And I'm sure the stuff she hoovers up when Jade's sleeping doesn't count]

Amberisms: peckage, snackage, Amber doesn't have it in her to develop a gambling addiction.
 
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