🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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For size we could just use whatever she says her height is if we trust that. Then we just figure out what % her width is to her height and then add it up. With enough of these from different angles we could estimate her circumference which could be pretty funny.

Other than that we could do some perspective trickery to figure out her size but it requires both good reference objects and good parallel lines to figure out the field of view/perspective. It's also less accurate as it involves perspective drawing over still frames. Just copy pasting an object only works if she's at the same distance from the camera as the object, so some perspective drawing will often be needed
 
True, @Diet Coke 4 Life, that didn't even occur to me (and it should have). Wonder if I could hit up a NASA or SpaceX geek. They have to fill those boosters, after all.

Although, thinking about it now (thanks to everyone chiming in!) , if we take her shelf ass widest point and consider that a 2D slice out of the cylinder that is this enormous jello bag, then the distance between her middle point (skeleton-wise**) and the outside edge of said shelf ass would be the radius of her cylinder at that spot, no? So, since d=2r, we could find her diameter at this particular two dimensional slice. Then, since the bores of scanners are diametrically measured, we'd be able to figure out just how much she'd have to lose off that shelf ass/her general hip area to fit. Alternately, if - for a change - she is not lying about losing weight, and her diameter is less than the bore size, we'd know she's just not going back for a scan, ignoring it like the bleeding for two years or whatever, hoping things will change.

It's possible - hell, it's even likely - I have way too much time on my hands right now, because now I'm thinking we could figure out the area of the entire cylinder, to know exactly how much space this useless cunt is taking up on this planet.

I think I'll just go watch car crash videos.

** When the amberverse had not collapsed like a black hole to a single thread, having run out of Optavia fuelings, someone had posted this, determining where her skeleton is"


SPINE - Copy.png
 
Imagine this cow's thread being so devoid of content that we get turbo autistic about the amount of space she theoretically takes up.
 

road trip, renaming my cat, torrid try-on, & taste test(after an anxiety attack 😢) | vlog 6-9-22​

 
What an attention seeking sack of whore.
The fucking obnoxious exaggerated accent is infuriating. She is also visibly gaining weight, her face is so fat and droopy.

How many times must it be said, Screech laughing and excessive baby-talky does not mean(or prove) you care for those animals, please stop the peformative nonsense. It's so false and over the top, I doubt she interacts with any of them once the camera shuts off but of course Fat Cunt needs cute props in her videos and lucky for her she can use that to show what a good person she s.
 
let me guess, 'renamed' means not actually renamed but changed the spelling or some bullshit, road trip not really a road trip, boring typical torrid try-on with outfits that don't fit, there's no anxiety attack but she talks about how her anxiety is bad you guisseee, taste test that nobody cares about.
 
This is somewhat related to the video today:
One thing that has always bothered the fuck about me with AL, is whenever they stop at a gas station and amber wants water or food- her GF always goes inside and gets it. I know it’s just a assumption because it’s a vlog but it seems like she never ever gets out the fucking car unless it’s mandatory like a doctors office or to eat food. It’s like in 2019 when the car was messing up and Becky, Dana and Destiny were all out the car talking to the autozone man and she was just in the car.

Also amber it will be 100% ok if you drive 1 or 2 hours and don’t eat.
 
mekalekahi said:
This is somewhat related to the video today:
One thing that has always bothered the fuck about me with AL, is whenever they stop at a gas station and amber wants water or food- her GF always goes inside and gets it. I know it’s just a assumption because it’s a vlog but it seems like she never ever gets out the fucking car unless it’s mandatory like a doctors office or to eat food. It’s like in 2019 when the car was messing up and Becky, Dana and Destiny were all out the car talking to the autozone man and she was just in the car.

Also amber it will be 100% ok if you drive 1 or 2 hours and don’t eat.
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Or when zombie Becky ran over something she stayed in the car and said something stupid like "Becky can't reach it so I know I wouldn't be able to." I'm sure having an extra 600lbs weighing the car down didn't help. Amber is just lazy.
 
It's probably such a goddamn process to get her in the car in the first place that once she's out, she's not fitting back in.

Kinda like Kirsten from M600PL.

 
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All these land whales wonder why they weigh 600 pounds when they can’t even go in the car without bringing a snack. She always needs snacks, always has to stop for snacks. I wonder if her head would explode if you told her most people go 5-7 hours between meals or eating anything at all.
 
Not our gorl Humblelynn casually dropping in that her new dress (that doesn't fit) costs $139 to remind us peasants that is she is still making mad shekels from JewTube and isn't at all bothered by her channel being in freefall 💅
 
M.T. Graves said:
I wonder if her head would explode if you told her most people go 5-7 hours between meals or eating anything at all.
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No, because SHE knows nutrition better than you, haydur! She'd tell you some bullshit excuse about her metabolism and how consuming 1000 calories every 30 minutes actually makes her lose weight. Problem is, she's endless gut consumption, hence her Jupiter size.

Reality says three squares a day does help your metabolism and losing weight. Breakfast shortly after you wake starts the furnace. Light breakfast, mind you. Not a whole box of Capt. Weebles cereal drowned in a gallon of milk. One, two eggs, a slice of bacon, and a piece of fruit or cup of fruit juice.

By lunch, anybody active or working will have burned that off and have tummy rumbles. Lunch maybe a sandwich and a banana or small bag of chips (or a cup of soup when it's chilly). You'll burn that by dinner.

Dinner should be a couple of hours before bedtime. Whatever you're in the mood for, but moderate portions. Not a whole pizza or orrraaange chicken to feed 4 with a heaping helping of rice. Or bread, if you're doing pasta. Pigging out before bed and quickly passing out is a deathfat recipe for disaster. But if you're "normal", you'll burn those calories and be hungry again when you wake up in the morning with tummy grumbles.

Nobody, I repeat, NOBODY needs snacks in between meals. Only exception being, and prolly where McFat is and won't admit it, is diabetics. And that's a blood sugar thang. Unless you've got an insulin pump (she doesn’t) or are injecting on a timed basis (she doesn't), your blood sugar levels go crazy and you stuff your face like a starving African to avoid a blood sugar drop, which can throw you into diabetic shock/coma.

Always keep in mind Hamber's stated mantra, the one that will take her right into that piano-sized casket:

BIG, BUT HULTHY!!
 
Slappy McGherkin said:
No, because SHE knows nutrition better than you, haydur! She'd tell you some bullshit excuse about her metabolism and how consuming 1000 calories every 30 minutes actually makes her lose weight. Problem is, she's endless gut consumption, hence her Jupiter size.

Reality says three squares a day does help your metabolism and losing weight. Breakfast shortly after you wake starts the furnace. Light breakfast, mind you. Not a whole box of Capt. Weebles cereal drowned in a gallon of milk. One, two eggs, a slice of bacon, and a piece of fruit or cup of fruit juice.

By lunch, anybody active or working will have burned that off and have tummy rumbles. Lunch maybe a sandwich and a banana or small bag of chips (or a cup of soup when it's chilly). You'll burn that by dinner.

Dinner should be a couple of hours before bedtime. Whatever you're in the mood for, but moderate portions. Not a whole pizza or orrraaange chicken to feed 4 with a heaping helping of rice. Or bread, if you're doing pasta. Pigging out before bed and quickly passing out is a deathfat recipe for disaster. But if you're "normal", you'll burn those calories and be hungry again when you wake up in the morning with tummy grumbles.

Nobody, I repeat, NOBODY needs snacks in between meals. Only exception being, and prolly where McFat is and won't admit it, is diabetics. And that's a blood sugar thang. Unless you've got an insulin pump (she doesn’t) or are injecting on a timed basis (she doesn't), your blood sugar levels go crazy and you stuff your face like a starving African to avoid a blood sugar drop, which can throw you into diabetic shock/coma.

Always keep in mind Hamber's stated mantra, the one that will take her right into that piano-sized casket:

BIG, BUT HULTHY!!
Click to expand...

Agree, mostly. The myth about eating before bed correlating to gaining weight is just that, a myth. It seems like it would be true and make sense but it really isn't. It's all calories in calories out, doesn't matter when they're going in and out.
 
I'll add in that snacks between meals are necessary... during endurance sports. Because fuck you, you need a snack or three when you're cycling for 4+ hours and covering distances in excess of 60 miles.

But for the annual trip to the corner mailbox, yeah, snacks are totally unnecessary.
 
mekalekahi said:
One thing that has always bothered the fuck about me with AL, is whenever they stop at a gas station and amber wants water or food- her GF always goes inside and gets it.
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Here's a bonus thing to be bothered by: Amber is over 30 years old and has never once pumped gas in her entire life.
 
StrawberryDouche said:
Here's a bonus thing to be bothered by: Amber is over 30 years old and has never once pumped gas in her entire life.
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Douchey, ❤️ ya. But I don't think McFat has ever really pumped anything in her life, let alone gas.

Incoming Vlog: Watch me pump the soap dispenser because COVID and why can't I wash this black off my hands?
 
StrawberryDouche said:
Here's a bonus thing to be bothered by: Amber is over 30 years old and has never once pumped gas in her entire life.
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So she lives in New Jersey big deal

ETA: Apparently a shit ton of you dont know that drivers arent allowed to pump their own gas into their own car in New Jersey. People who drive their entire lives have never pumped gas. There are lots of people who have never pumped gas. Its not that shocking. And yes. I know she doesnt live in NJ...read the joke. jeez
 
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This is why back in the day when people said Destiny downgraded with Dana I thought it was bullshit. Ambers face is fractionally better and she has more money but the personality, neediness refusal to do ANYTHING makes Dana a prize. Amber is so self focused and spoiled she doesn’t see it’s the small things in relationships that add up. Getting out of the car and getting your own junk means a lot when the driver is zipping all over town for you.
 
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