FREEZE FRAME!
Wow, I don't know if this is a good or bad sign of how this vlog is going to go...
This is Amber's life right now: she slept in her clothes, she slept in her makeup, she slept in her jewellry, she slept in a chair (likely sitting upright), and she woke up super stressed. So, in other words, just a typical day that ends in a Y.
Amber says she doesn't want to talk right now because she looks crazy. Um... we didn't just barge into your house and wake you up to chat. YOU turned on the camera and decided to film yourself - then uploaded it. You could have done the decent thing and cleaned yourself up before hitting record - oh, who am I kidding? This is Amber we're talking about.
So many "plot twists" to this move. Fuck off, Amber. Amber says she's going to leave to get ready.
JUMPCUT!! In the car, looking as disheveled as before, but it's harder to see because it's the middle of the night. It's the last night in the apartment.
JUMPCUT!! Lounging atop of Mount Pillomanjaro. It's the next morning and the day she leaves.
JUMPCUT!! Naked in the bathroom. FUCCCCCCK YOOOOOOOUUUU! Bullshit weigh in time! Last weigh in a few weeks ago was "511". Current weigh in: 510.2lbs (with her pannus resting on the towel rack, no doubt).
The bitch is actually celebrating being over 500 lbs right now. I'm not [SKIP]
JUMPCUT!! Amber shows the 'gnat' catching nightlight full of bugs. Amber shows off the money tree - Flee will be taking it with her.
JUMPCUT!! Over-filled suitcase. Are we going to get a pack with me?! YES!! I SO want to see Amber try to stuff an industrial fan and all of her dirty pillows and blankets into that case!!
Oh. Amber doesn't show it - but she does give us a 'watch me act like a retard who doesn't know how to pack and close a suitcase' segment... and it's not a proper substitute. Damnit Amber, ust do what we do and sit on it while you close it. You'll have the added benefit of being able to not only close it, but compress it into a carry on sized bag.
JUMPCUT!! It's the last 'Watch me smear cheap makeup all over my dirty face with my dirty fingers' segment to be filled in this apartment. [SKIP]
JUMPCUT!! Pile of stuff that's going in the car. TWINKIE!! 1 of 3 pets accounted for.
FREEZE FRAME!!
The chair that Flee has supposedly been sleeping on with Amber. I call bullshit - well, bullshit to Jade sleeping there. The collection of trash clearly indicates this was an Amber nest. RARITY!! 2 of 3 pets accounted for.
Outfit of the Day molment [SKIP]
Amber is acting like she's coming back because she's mentally a child who can't process that she's moving. Good job, Amber. Keep doing absolutely everything you can to make yourself as pathetic and mentally ill as possible.
JUMPCUT!! WASABI!!!!
3 of 3 pets accounted for!! BINGO!!!! I'm glad to see the scruffy little dude. I was worried for a second that Amber sent him out to go live with Gracie in order to 'declutter' her pets down to the 'limit of 2' that most apartments have.
JUMPCUT!! Officially in Jade's car along with the carriers and pillow mountain. I wonder if any of Jade's stuff fit, or if she had to 'declutter' everything in order to make room for Amber's moldy pillows and blanket collection? Also, NO WAY am I believing 510.2lbs.
They aren't going to get to Amber's destination for another 15-16 hours. TRANSLATION: It's a 10-12 hour trip, but Amber needs snacky breaks. They are doing the majority of the travelling in the dark, because Amber doesn't have to drive it, and she's a selfish cunt who doesn't give a shit about Jade.
Amber complaining about her 'car ang-zy-a-tee' and worrying about blood clots. It didn't have to go this way; you CHOSE to burden the disembodied hand to transport you like this. I think I'd be more worried that the disembodied hand (who you've hinted to have a drinking problem and emotional instability) plows the car into the trailer of a transport truck, but whatever.
Oh, and if only your psychiatrist had prescribed something for you to help deal with your anxiety! If only you had a psychologist to teach you coping mechanisms for your anxiety! Fuck off, Amber.
"Longest road trip for me ever". And I'm sure it's going to feel more than twice as long for every other life form in the car.
JUMPCUT!! Stopped at a gas station to stretch her legs (while the servant fills the tank and likely cares for the animals). Supposedly she is just past Bowling Green Kentucky with 700 more miles to go. Walmart in the background. You think she'll stop in for a few journals?
JUMPCUT!! HAUL TIME!! HOLY SHIT SHE DID!! No, false alarm, it's actually a food haul: water, soda, gummy candy.
JUMPCUT!! Amber's claiming to be in Tennessee.
JUMPCUT!! Amber has no idea where she is. She's too busy complaining about how uncomfortable her legs are. Amber says that this is a struggle-bus for her. 8 hours to go.
JUMPCUT!! driving on a brige in Arkansas. Hmmm, sounds like Amber is headed towards Oklahoma. Rarity is losing her shit in the carrier.
JUMPCUT!! In a random Waffle House bathroom. Quality content. 6 hours to go.
JUMPCUT!! At a Valero Gas Station in the middle of the night, but Amber has no idea where she is. More snackies: Soda - caffeine free diet coke to 'stay awake' and beef jerky. Amber thinks that it's important for her to stay awake to nag Jade as opposed to sleeping and leaving Jade alone to drive in peace.
JUMPCUT!! At another Valero Gas Station. 45 minutes away. More complaining. Coincidently, this is the section of the video where people were able to identify landmarks in the background of her vlog and have identified this location to be in Shawnee, Oklahoma - which is about 45 minutes away from Oklahoma City. Leave it up to Amber to dox herself in this manner.
JUMPCUT!! Amber in an echoey room standing in front of an beige wall. She arrived, so she's going to end the video. Byee!
