Hello hello! Wet hair. Looks like Jade came back to hose Amber down.
Half-assed bullshit 'eyeliner tutorial'.
Amber's been doing a lot of packing. Amber threatens to livestream 'later' (whenever that is).
JUMPCUT!! In the echoey kitchen, talking about her Starbucks order - Massive Iced Chai drink - because she's been drinking nothing but water lately (and Pepsi).
JUMPCUT!! Back in the bedroom, and it's the next day (whenever that is). Ambo drops the bomb that she and her new girlfriend 'broke up'. I don't know what to say about this whole section, except that it comes across as completely fake. Her eyes are darting all over the place. Her tone doesn't match her facial expressions. What she's saying doesn't fit the context of the situation. She 'cried' over this breakup... which wasn't even a breakup, as they hadn't even met yet. Things were serious between them and there was a deep connection, but they hadn't even met. She shared too much about the situation (despite sharing absolutely nothing about it).
"The person seemed really real and authentic, and just like, amazing. And they wanted me to talk about them on my livestream... and WE decided to kinda end things today... Not everything is black and white; there's a huge gray area... probably not a good idea, with the things happening in their life...I was giving way too much of myself to this person..."
Oop, all of the usual excuses about how it had absolutely NOTHING to do with Amber and how it was entirely the other person's fault. Hang on... I think I have a gif for this...
Seriously though: this is very obviously a lie, but it's unclear exactly what she's lying about. Are they actually still talking? Was there actually a potential girlfriend? Is this 'new gorl' just Jade yet again? Still unknown.
JUMPCUT!! In the bathroom talking about anxiety. Amber stopped taking her anxiety medicine because she stopped having anxiety. Amber blabs about the difference between normal day to day anxiousness about things, and anxiety (without realizing that people are commenting, because Amber talks about normal day to day uneasiness as if it were crippling anxiety). Yeah whatever, Amber. You've been magically cured of your anxiety disorder - if I didn't know better, I'd figure that you NEVER HAD ANXIETY DISORDER.
Amber talks about her super unique and special panic attacks. I don't care. [SKIP]
JUMPCUT!! It's 'the next day' again (whenever that is). Amber claims she's been crying again. Ambo's on a date with Jade: Amber made Jade haul an entire carload of shit to the GoodWill (and said they'll have to go a few more times), then made Jade run into a store to get Ambo a smoothie. Hey, remember when Amber moved out of the gaycare, and Amber's mom said that they had to drag 3 HOUSES worth of shit to GoodWill?
Amber made sure to NOT wear a bra so she could complain about feeling subconscious in public, in order to make Jade haul all of the donation items and get the smooties while Amber remained firmly wedged in the car.
(Yeah Jade: we all saw the photo of you dragging that yippy little football around for a 'walk' on Sunday so Ambo could stay parked on her shelf. You refuse to tell the blimp to go fuck herself, you get what you deserve).
TASTE TEST: It's not enough for Amber to drink her own smoothie; she also has to drink from Jade's.
JUMPCUT!! It's been a couple of days (whatever that means). Amber's started packing her clothes. Jade 'introduced' Amber to boxes where you don't have to take the hangers off of the clothes. Yeah, they're garment boxes - WHICH YOU POINTED OUT AND BOUGHT AT HOME DEPOT 2 MONTHS AGO. Why lie about something so stupid? Anyway, Jade probably made sure that you had them, because you probably tried to make her pack your clothes.
The movers are going to have her stuff for a week. She won't even have a bed to sleep (sitting up) on!
Amber promises that she'll try to get better at vlogging. After 10 years of hearing this promise, I don't think anyone's holding their breath.
Byee!!!
R.I.P New New Wifey, August/September 2023 - September 2023, gone before we could know you 
