🍗 Deathfat Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

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:story:
 
I'd love for Hamber to explain why that is and what exactly determines the ultimate length your hair will grow to. Be nice if she'd say something about the other factors as well, but hey, tiny smooth-soled baby steps, right?
 
my favorite meal lately, new tattoo, new family member, & therapy homework | vlog


 
Jade gets another nigga tattoo on her huge fat arm, she is looking hefty in the side shots.
There is no new family member, her favourite meal is a salad (lah) yet she's still speedrunning 600lbs and looking massive.
Her internet therapy sounds like homework for children (so might actually work?)
Overall extremely boring and fat content. Do not waste 16 mins of your life on this.
 
Isn't it kinda weird for a blackie to get a bunch of honkies tattooed onto her arm? Or is that just my perception? It's like the inverse of a wigger getting a Tupac tattoo or something.
 
I think maybe Amber's true PTSD thing from being a little girl in foster care was

that no one wanted to molest her even then, so she has no dark stories to tell outside of being put on Weight Watchers or drinking skim milk.
 
Isn't it kinda weird for a blackie to get a bunch of honkies tattooed onto her arm? Or is that just my perception? It's like the inverse of a wigger getting a Tupac tattoo or something.
My autistic theory:

I think wipey is so caught up in portraying a pretentiously deep and sophisticated image of herself that she doesn't give a shit about which race she is inking on her skin. Although her tattoo artist did a great job with their work, the overall meaning and symbology she used was very cliche (IMO).

Wipey seems like a pseudo-intellectual who mainly hangs around whites. All of her interests seem reddit-tier. The inflections in her voice and fake enthusiasm sound like what black people do when they want to seem more personable to whites. I've seen this a lot in professional settings and the term for it is called "code-switching" which she does with Hamber.

Wipey doesn't have a deep personality so she compensates by trying to seem more profound than she actually is. She seems like the key demographic for gentrified microbreweries and we wuz kangz exhibits.
 
The smug arrogance is creeping in again. Continue therapy my ass. Assuming WLS ‘prep’ isn’t total bullshit, she’s doing therapy just to check it off the prep list. I get the impression she’s convinced WLS will happen this summer.

Not a hope in hell.
 
I don't know why her ''recovery/healing'' is always mentioned as if THAT is her end goal, what does this cunt have to heal from? Her own greed? Her torrents of self pity? The lies she allows herself to believe?

If she were to R33CovEr and hhH3al she'd have nothing. The entire chasing of diagnosis' and tall tales is the end goal. She is where she wants to be. Therapy, WLS and everything else amounts to nothing more than props. You can't heal and recover when there's nothing to heal and recover from.
 
Why does AL have the phone number of a group home staff from over 20 years ago?
View attachment 5097489
So, IF this is actually true (and not Amber messaging herself from her other iPhone), Amber just 'proved' that she attended the S.P.A.C.E. dance sessions with other foster girls - exactly what the anonymous person from the community tab said. Yet Amber didn't disprove the claims of her having meltdowns like a toddler while being in the 9-12 age range.

GIRL SCOUT TALENT SHOWS! The talent show performances she 'core-e-oh-griffed' and performed were just part of the little internal activities done by individual scout packs! Of course they cheered and called out her name - these groups are socialized to be extra friendly and encouraging to the mentally disabled :story:

Wow, I sure feel pwned right now. Fuck sakes, every day that goes by provides more evidence that we really are in the matrix... or the world actually ended in 2012 like the Mayans predicted, and we're all in some sort of purgatory or something.

------------

Plot Summary with Commentary, readable in less than 3 minutes! Amber's vlogs are really reminding me of that movie Groundhog Day - though that movie was less depressing and aggravating. All I know is that I feel like I've been caught in a time loop - how about you guys? Let's do this, ENGAGE!

Opening shot of Dana! False alarm: Amber's just in the kitchen obsessing about her food supply.

The fridge is overflowing with food again - time to throw it all out and BUY MORE. Uh, I mean, 'reorganize' it. No one cares about your 'before and after: clean with me' bullshit. You're too lazy to maintain any organizational system you create, so everything will just get back to the 'before' stage within a few days anyway.

JUMP CUT!! A few days later! Amber totally forgot about this bullshit fake clean with me clip. More proof that her 'vlogs' are just tons of out-of-order clips which are randomly stitched together and then shat out for coins.

Hello Fresh is back again.

Placard:
[Next Day]

Jade is getting her whole sleeve tattoo started. Wow, the person we NEVER see is getting a tattoo. I don't know if she'll show it, so I'll just put a sleeve tattoo pic here:
armsleeve.png

You're welcome.

OH, she does show it! Before and after:
armbeforeafter.png


Placard:
[Next day]

Okay, I'm not wasting my time talking about an invisible person, but I will say this: It's interesting that a person whose previous tattoos all look like they were done with safety pins and a BIC pen is suddenly getting a mult-thousand dollar tattoo now that she's with Moneybags Reid. [SKIP]

Off to 'At Home' and 'Lowes' to buy more shit!! Hurpling action with live commentary and childish playing in the isles! *touch touch touch* They came for plant holders, but left with more generic mass produced 'art' - and possibly another plastic plant.

Placard:
[Next day]

A disembodied hand rubs Twinkie while wearing a deshedding glove.

ANOTHER STRAWBERRY HILL UPDATE - She REALLY wants to speak to the person who sent it to get a clear understanding of their intentions, in case she needs to apologize. JUST APOLOGIZE ANYWAY AND THEN FUCK OFF, AMBER!!

Over 100 people have already taken credit for #cakegate.

Placard:
[Next day]

Weight loss coming in nicely, toobz. It's MDWU:
bighead.png


The bad angle is because Amber is using her girth to obstruct the living room wall - want to see what her gallery wall looks like? Tune in next time: same FAT time, same FAT channel!

5th therapy appointment today! Motivated and excited for life, but ready to cry because that therapy hour is exhausting.

You know what's REALLY exhausting? Wearing bunker gear and SCBA while trying to drag someone out of a burning building. Or working in a warehouse loading/unloading boxes for 8-10 hours. Or working 15 hours straight in a kitchen that's maybe only 15 degrees cooler than the temperature required to COOK YOUR BRAIN. Or about a million other jobs that people do to earn a living that you've NEVER had to endure.

Sorry... continue, Amber. Tell us all how exhausting it is to stare into a camera and talk about yourself.

Amberlynn feels that it's her duty to normalize therapy. If YOU were my only exposure to what therapy was, I'd be starting a movement to ABOLISH THERAPY.

She has bad feefees for her dad. (Duper's delight smile).

More refridgerator action! Amber's now 'addicted' to premade Caesar salad bag kits - yes, because of the ridiculous amounts of SUGAR and SALT (and seed oil) in the dressing pouch. Not to mention the bacon, cheese, and deep-fried bread cubes/crumbs. Jade adds chicken, but Amber doesn't (because why would she follow the rule of adding protein from her dietician?) Bagged salad kit assembly tutorial [SKIP]

Eating on camera, shovelling it in like a pig at a trough. Did you know that this is a weight loss channel?
trough.png

Geeze, even the PIG knows to make eyecontact with the camera!

MENTULZ!! ANG-ZY-A-TEE!!! It's because of her impending therapy session. If this wasn't required for her WLS (storyline), she'd cancel this appointment.

Placard:
[Few hours later]

Therapy done. There were tears, but she's learning how to cry while maintaining her makeup.

This session, Amber had to share the situation (type deals) which may have caused her PTSD. I could see why she was dreading it. Can you IMAGINE the look you'd get from your shrink after talking about your traumatizing experience of having to drink skim melk?! Anyway, Amber has to write about it, and then identify her 'stuck points'. It feels so emotional and wrong. SO HEAVY [;)]

Amber thinks that after these sessions she'll "be healed from it and not have PTSD anymore". She doesn't realize that PTSD is for life. You don't get rid of it, you learn to COPE - more evidence this whole thing is a just steaming pile.

JUMP CUT!!! Apparently, she fell asleep while vlogging. Byee!

TL;DR: Amber's new favourite meal is bagged Caesar salad kits. The new tattoo is part one of Jade's sleeve from her deltoid to elbow. There is no new family member (unless she was referring to the plastic plant she found at Lowes). Therapy homework is to identify the 'stuck points' from her PTSD causing trauma. Other shit happened that doesn't matter. OH YEAH! Amber brings up #cakegate AGAIN because she is DESPERATE to know exactly who sent the food. So far, over 100 people have already taken credit.
 
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"I'm not in a good mood anymore" *eats huge chunk of sauce-covered lettuce* "MMM! so good!" *piggy dance*
I TOTALLY believe that she did not eat that cake. I also believe that she c-oreo-graphed that dance. I also believe that trannies are real women and that Epstein killed himself. Whenever she makes movements too fast I can imagine that cartoon boing-boing noise.
popthepig.png
 
The inflections in her voice and fake enthusiasm sound like what black people do when they want to seem more personable to whites. I've seen this a lot in professional settings and the term for it is called "code-switching" which she does with Hamber.
Disagree, but my comments below are meant to discuss or add a few thoughts/perspective, not argue. In my hearing/viewing of the clip, her excitement about something she just spent 8 hours doing doesn't seem faux (and in my hearing, she sounded pretty un-hyper, just normal; it's not like she was squealing like a stereotypical blonde president of KKG on Bid Night gushing to the new pledges), and the few/short phrases you hear on camera don't sound particularly "white," either. She just sounds like a person.

Code-switching in professional settings is a pragmatic approach to success by adopting the norms of the environment - and although the cultural weight is different than something like wearing a suit at a buttoned-up office, the point (in a work context) is the same: it's to your professional advantage to fit in, communicate/present in a way most people will understand/feel comfortable with, not put unnecessary blocks in your own way. With friends you may speak in dialect (or, to remove cultural aspects, swear like a sailor), but at work, super-casual isn't usually the path to success.

Code-switching isn't a bad thing (though of course some people reject it as inauthentic, kowtowing to racism, etc., but objectively, it's a success skill). And if you grew up speaking in a mostly "standard" or formal style (which Jade may have, wdk) and don't speak differently outside a specific environment, you're not really switching much, if anything.

Beyond the professional context, if you talk with family, etc., with whom you share a heritage in one way, and talk with people without that heritage in another, is that wrong? Would you expect a French woman to speak French to her non-French-speaking girlfriend? Or a man from an old Cajun family to speak in dialect to his Wyoming bride, even though when he sees his cousins he speaks in dialect? No.

Some people also switch because in addition to the pragmatic aspects, they prefer to reserve that familiar type of speech for people they relate to as a personal acquaintance or with a shared heritage/characteristic that matters to them; it's protective.

Tl; dr: not every Black person speaks/would prefer to speak at all times in ways most white people don't/can't follow. Some people switch pragmatically and neutrally, not from some desire to be accepted by white people or anyone else. Faline in that clip sounds like...(again) a person.

And aside from speech, is there any reason a Black person could not just know and appreciate some archetypes/ mythology/adages and want to mesh them for a piece of art/ink? Are those things only allowed as references by "true" intellectuals? Tbh, on the scale of tattoos, her design is both more clever and better executed than most.

Back on the topic of AL, I love those Caesar salad kits (there are a couple of organic ones that are particularly delicious, btw). I had to quit them because the fat and calories are too high, but I also weigh a quarter of what Amber Lynn does. For her, it's a better choice than fast food and similar slop. If she's reading, I recommend also getting a container of plain baby spinach and putting a couple handfuls in, while using half of the bag of romaine/dressing/parm. You'll get two meals rather than one from the kit, you'll add nutrients, and you'll reduce the amount and proportion of fat, too.
 
Taking a pass on this one. Same boring shit, rehashing cakegate and her muh PTSD that she was "diagnosed" with, even though she wasn't. Stupid acting like a five year old at a home goods store, and eating salad without any protein in it, which means she'll be hungry ten minutes after she eats it. I don't really care about tats, although I'll say that was some nice looking art. The reasoning behind it, mixing religion, art, and mythology - it works.
 
@Boolean Bitch gorl, that first pic in your recap freaked me out. I thought for a split second it was about to be revealed that Jade’s a dude. But that would be something interesting in an Amber video, so silly me.

That tattoo really is impressive. Kudos to her for picking out a good artist. What Amber has to say about the parlor: “Woah, this place looks so clean, sterile, and professional.” No shit, dummy.
 
Gorlworld Ireland has a hilarious reaction to Hamber's "I'm not the fucking problem YOU are for sending me cake!" video.


It's worth a watch. His telling her to fuck off is legit LOL material. He also makes fun of Hamber's arrogance, which is also nice.

Also, WTF with Zachary Michael these days? Why is he treating this attention whoring cunt with kid gloves?


Weight loss coming in nicely, toobz. It's MDWU:
bighead.png


The bad angle is because Amber is using her girth to obstruct the living room wall - want to see what her gallery wall looks like? Tune in next time: same FAT time, same FAT channel!

Someone in Justine's react commented about Hamber's neck droop over her choker and now I can't unsee it. Bad enough to be getting jowls, but if you're so fucking fat your bullfrog neck is turning into a turkey wattle, you're definitely not following the imaginary program.

I'm going to say her quiz-diagnosed PTSD that she's completely going to be healed of in a mere six - five - four - three - two - one! sessions will present a stumbling block for the imaginary WLS. She'll refuse to do more imaginary therapy, because her imaginary PTSD wasn't totally cleared in six hours of rambling talk about herself.

Maybe then we'll get the arc we really want: the road to 600. Pounds.
 
Also, WTF with Zachary Michael these days? Why is he treating this attention whoring cunt with kid gloves?
With YouTube being his main source of income these days, maybe he’s spooked by the new TOS. I personally lost interest in watching anything from him at around the time he tossed in his job.
I'm going to say her quiz-diagnosed PTSD that she's completely going to be healed of in a mere six - five - four - three - two - one! sessions will present a stumbling block for the imaginary WLS. She'll refuse to do more imaginary therapy, because her imaginary PTSD wasn't totally cleared in six hours of rambling talk about herself.
Her therapy is only going to last as long as the clinic insists on it. She’s not doing this to actually gain any healing. What she hasn’t yet realised is that the success of her therapy will be measured in weight loss, not in number of sessions. One of Amber’s big issues is she doesn’t hear what is actually being said to her, and has zero ability to read between the lines. Her surgeon said that he would reassess her situation after 12 therapy sessions (3-4 months). He didnt say he’d approve her then or give her “the date”.

Of course Caesar Salad is her favourite…salads don’t come much fatter than a good Caesar. If she would just restrict herself for 3 months to solid lean meats, eggs, and undressed garden salads, dumping the carbs, cheese and processed deli meats, she’d get approved for her surgery the next time she sees the surgeon. Of course that’s too hard for her, and her 1 lb goals she sees as the qualification rather than the “just lose something” that the goal is at the moment. We are currently watching this bitch work to achieve the absolute bare minimum, and not even achieving that. At least if she aimed higher, she might manage the bare minimum.
 
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