I can't wait for our gorl to publish the next Great American Novel, since she's so busy with her "hobbies" which include wrideeeeen. Considering how much spare time she has, by now she should have been able to write a worthy successor to Lolita.
The novel will be a triumph of imagination: the protagonist is a dainty gorl who is slightly overweight (only 400lbs, but she still fits a size 6) and her trials and tribulations as menfolk attack each other in the streets in jealous rages over her as she imperiously scootypuffs past them - unfortunately for them, she's totally a lezbeeen! The narrative climax comes when a horde of online haydurs start harassing her out of envy (what other reason could there be?) but they're defeated and destroyed by her lethal combination of giving incredulous excuses for weight gain, wearing piano covers with basic bitch slogans on them, uploading filtered SC stories disproving her own claims of dieting, and calling her detractors "boo boo". The book, titled A Clockwork Orange Chicken, will win every Pulitzer prize of the year including the ones for non-literary categories and then Amber will spend the profits on more floral horse blankets she doesn't fit into.
