Amberisms - Because having them in one place is funny

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Is Amber a real and raw writer?

  • No

    Votes: 115 10.6%

  • Fat

    Votes: 886 81.4%

  • Yes

    Votes: 52 4.8%

  • Has potential

    Votes: 35 3.2%
  • Total voters
    1,088
When she said "I'm dying. No, I'm not dying. I'm trying to survive!" or whatever. I wanted to punch her in the face. Bitch, this ain't My 600lb Life. Take your "inspirational" quotes elsewhere. We all know this is only a phase.
 
From her livestream today "not doing good", she claims that her eating large quantities of vegetables and fruits on camera is somehow counteractive to her weight loss. This may not be as iconic as "window seals" or "at the drop of a pen" but it definitely illustrates Albert's firm grasp on reality.
 
Not sure of the timestamp for last night's live, but upon receiving valid criticism our gorl states that, "society humanity needs help in this world".
 
I don't know how it hasn't been posted, but the infamous line from her latest poetic offering; "I see birds walking". Or rather,

I sthee burdsth walkeeen
 
Strine said:
I don't know how it hasn't been posted, but the infamous line from her latest poetic offering; "I see birds walking". Or rather,

I sthee burdsth walkeeen
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I swear, the fatter this women gets the closer she approaches talking like fucking Cultist Chan.

Maybe it's not a coincidence.
 
A few from her older videos:
  • im a spicy type of gal
  • What i choose to put in my body is my choice
  • Some people think bell peppers are spicy
  • Ive never had it raw before
  • Im the queen of moderation
  • Yasss... Baybee.
  • Life is so short; you never know.
  • Break a friggin' Lamp!
  • Hashtag not a writer
  • (Walrus clapping)
  • Hashtag Pork rinds
 
Have been lurking for ages. First post.
Hello.

I'm pretty sure I've not seen this mentioned in this thread yet, but I want to shtrangle her for the "h" she puts after the "s" in "s-t-r" words.
Some examples:
"shtroke"
"shtrong"
"shtruggles"

Even some other "s-t" words.
"Shtoopid jokes"

ug.
 
ShtrugglesBeeenMe said:
Have been lurking for ages. First post.
Hello.

I'm pretty sure I've not seen this mentioned in this thread yet, but I want to shtrangle her for the "h" she puts after the "s" in "s-t-r" words.
Some examples:
"shtroke"
"shtrong"
"shtruggles"

Even some other "s-t" words.
"Shtoopid jokes"

ug.
Click to expand...
One day I'm going to take opiates and try to catalogue every impediment of her speech, nearly all of which are affected because she thinks it looks cyuuute. T-glottalisation, velar nasal as "EEEEEEN", and the sibilant problem you mentioned are just a handful. Some of it must be from her giant cheesewheel face crushing her oral cavity inwards. She has always been incoherent and inarticulate, but even back in the Dusty era she mostly pronounced words correctly - even when the words made no sense.
 
ShtrugglesBeeenMe said:
Have been lurking for ages. First post.
Hello.

I'm pretty sure I've not seen this mentioned in this thread yet, but I want to shtrangle her for the "h" she puts after the "s" in "s-t-r" words.
Some examples:
"shtroke"
"shtrong"
"shtruggles"

Even some other "s-t" words.
"Shtoopid jokes"

ug.
Click to expand...
Becky does this too. I wonder if Amber picked it up from her. Another stolen quirk?
 
Strine said:
One day I'm going to take opiates and try to catalogue every impediment of her speech, nearly all of which are affected because she thinks it looks cyuuute. T-glottalisation, velar nasal as "EEEEEEN", and the sibilant problem you mentioned are just a handful. Some of it must be from her giant cheesewheel face crushing her oral cavity inwards. She has always been incoherent and inarticulate, but even back in the Dusty era she mostly pronounced words correctly - even when the words made no sense.
Click to expand...
It always does my heart good to see someone else who experiences physical pain when it comes to her phonetic slaughter of the English language. I think you're right, though, she's only gotten worse. She's always taken on the speech patterns of those around her, but her pronunciation defies any logic except brain damage. Sometimes, if I didn't know better I'd say she'd had a stroke at some point.

I think you're right that it comes back to her face just becoming so large that it garbles her speech. That and her teeth that were totally fixed when she was 18 so back off haydurrsss.
 
BOLDYSPICY! said:
That one's actually pretty common, but I've only heard it in the Deep South. Which Kentucky ain't. But I guess Florida is? I dunno, man.
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Florida is one of those weirdo state where there's a hodge podge of people, but they all act similarly re.tarded. I think it's the heat. Interestingly, or not interesting what soever, Florida isn't considered southern really. Not by other southerners anyway. Too many yankees retire there. It may be below the Mason-Dixon, but that doesn't really count for much. Just look at Maryland. No one really considers that southern.
 
BOLDYSPICY! said:
That one's actually pretty common, but I've only heard it in the Deep South. Which Kentucky ain't. But I guess Florida is? I dunno, man.
Click to expand...
I (and people I know) say "a hot minute"/"a hot second," and I live in the northeast.
 
Pudgy Bear Claws said:
From her new video, "Eat With Me" (5/15/19):

"You're not supposed to drink liquids when you eat."
Click to expand...

This was said in the video thread, but I'll give her this one. If she read anything about WLS, you are not supposed to drink 30 minutes before, during or 30 minutes after a meal -- so that your now walnut sized stomach gets the full from nutrients in food and not water.

Now, what I won't give her is that this is not going to do her any good with her beachball medicine ball sized stomach.
 
I may be out of the loop but this new phrase than seems to have surfaced with the Return of the Revenge of Cuntylynn makes me laugh every time I see it: "Hop off my ass!"

I'm not sure if this is some new way the kids are saying 'Get off my ass', but when I read her saying to 'Hop' off her ass I just. .well, most people don't have an ass that's hop-able, y'know? Like, as I hear it now it just makes me think that her ass has been ginormous for so long that it doesn't occur to her that what she's suggesting is Dr Seuss levels of abnormal because most people's asses can't be comfortably used as a chair. .some sort of beanbag chair even, that she can instruct you to 'hop off' of.

So whether it's also a phrase outside of Wrydurlynn's personal phraseology or not it makes me laugh every time I see her say it.
 
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