Am I fat?

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Solution
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Your options are:

* Be intentionally funny. People won't make fun of you for being fat if you distract them with other fun.
* Be unintentionally funny, and get mocked in Beauty Parlour
* Lose weight
 
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Can you see your genitals if you look down when you shower? If you can't, you're fat

When you look down to search for your genitals and you get puzzled and scratch your chin, do you feel multiple chins? If you feel them, you're fat

When you're browsing kiwifarms, do you involuntarily make fat noises, the kind of fat noise that fat people do when they're idle at the computer? If you make such noises, you're fat

Are you often in doubt when the servings on the package might not be enough for the number of people it suggests? If you eat multiple servings when you should eat only one, you're fat

When riding in public transport (metro, bus) do you often brush into the person sitting right next to you? If you have non newtonian fluid arms at the public transport, you're fat

When you refer to chubby people as someone whose weight is over the 3 digit mark (on kilograms)? If your beauty standards are euphemistic, you're fat
 
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Does your gunt look like it belongs to a zombie? If yes,then,sadly, you're beyond the point of no retvrn.
 
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souschef said:
Can you see your genitals if you look down when you shower? If you can't, you're fat

When you look down to search for your genitals and you get puzzled and scratch your chin, do you feel multiple chins? If you feel them, you're fat

When you're browsing kiwifarms, do you involuntarily make fat noises, the kind of fat noise that fat people do when they're idle at the computer? If you make such noises, you're fat

Are you often in doubt when the servings on the package might not be enough for the number of people it suggests? If you eat multiple servings when you should eat only one, you're fat

When riding in public transport (metro, bus) do you often brush into the person sitting right next to you? If you have non newtonian fluid arms at the public transport, you're fat

When you refer to chubby people as someone whose weight is over the 3 digit mark (on kilograms)? If your beauty standards are euphemistic, you're fat
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This is the most useful post on kiwi farms dot net in hours
 
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