Alien: Covenant/Alien Series thoughts.

[TaimuRadiu]

I watched the first episode, it was good enough. Better than the AvP movies anyway. Probably will end up being better than Alien 3 and Resurrection. Seems to be setting up some kind of corporate warfare hunting for the specimens.

This is a painfully bad show. The worst editing I've ever seen in a television show. The dialog is atrocious and embarrassingly filled with cringe inducing nonsense. The characters are just spewing exposition at the audience in forced unnatural conversations. The casting is DEI to the extreme. The lead actress is physically unattractive (and is apparently from a show business family). This is brutally awful.

I don't think anyone with a brain will be able to watch this series. Not even watch and enjoy....just literally finish the series without having to quit. I can barely make it through the first episode. Unless you are addicted to the Alien series like a drug addict needs heroin then just quit while you are ahead.

It's like 150 years in the future dude and the ship crashed into a city in a place outright called "New Siam" and the secret lab seemed to be in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and I guess Ms Yutani shows up in the series too. 45+ years ago would you have bitched about the term "Weyland Yutani" and the movie focusing on a woman as an action hero, calling it DEI?

 

[Michael Wade]

edit: watching more of ep2...it's anime alien. clear references to Alita battle angel, Akira and L from death note imo.

Kino. Makes me think of resident evil Netflix. That was some good shit.

I would enjoy alien boardroom meetings

 

[regalterry]

it was good enough

It was complete and utter shit. I struggle to understand how anyone with a functional brain can defend this slop.

Awful and disjointed editing that jumps all over the place, stilted dialogue, absolutely laughable and contrived writing, any momentum a scene is building up towards is ruined because the writers then jump to another fucking place without any rhyme or reason.

You start with the ship and the crew waking from cryo, a few plot hooks are thrown around laying the groundwork for the catastrophe, only for the script to jump to some island on Earth where humans have their consciousness transferred into synthetic bodies, killing any tension the previous scene was trying to create.

The writers are such amateurs that they throw three sepatate casts numbering at least three dozen characters in the first 30 minutes - ship crew, synth facility staff, security services. There's so many characters I don't think I remember the name of a single one of them. Not that they are actually characters, they're just cardboard cutouts sprouting off cliche lines. You can basically tell the fate of every single one of them the moment you see them.

They're likely going to introduce more, but I sure as fuck have zero interest in wasting any more time on this.

The lead actress looks old, yet they have her badly pretending to be a tween girl that likes stuffed toys. It's creepy, and adds nothing to the plot.

I had to quit when she was "preparing" for her first deployment and decided to pick up a katana, and then magically attached her katana to her back like she's a fucking videogame character. I know they're going to explain the bullshit via maglocks or whatever, but it looks so incredibly retarded.

I'm not a faggot and even I can tell just how awful the haircut they gave her looks on her. She should genuinely sue whoever is responsible.

And that's not even going into the dumb as fuck retcons. Not only are the world governments just gone, replaced with four corporations, thus begging the question whom exactly the United States Colonial Marine Corps work for in the future, but they also go down the same retarded path of Prometheus and introduce new, far more advanced technology than we ever seen in any of the movies taking place in the future of the continuity.

The sets and props just feel lazy, like they couldn't even be bothered to attempt to depict how Earth would look like in the future of the Alien universe. Say what you want about Romulus, but at least the crew working on that one went the extra mile to make the sets look the part. It all looks like some generic sci-fi show with a bunch of Alien props scattered around randomly. The ship and the city look like they belong to two completely different universes.

This show is just further proof that there are no competent writers left at Hollywood. The premise of the show doesn't demand them to shit out the next Sopranos, and yet they can't even manage to reach the level of Aliens. Even the two AvP videogames had better writing and more consistent worldbuilding.

 

[Adamska]

And that's not even going into the dumb as fuck retcons. Not only are the world governments just gone, replaced with four corporations

I'm going to fucking hate when the Alien RPG tries to crowbar this shit in, since I know they will at some point or another, likely via a stupid retcon. I only hope they do something akin to the comics where the companies are the only things that get dragged in, as well as some of the less egregious shit they do in this waste of a show.

How hard was it for them to not just have it be a corporate town akin to Fordlandia if they really didn't want to deal with the world setting? Because by doing this you again fucking throw out the UPP, and those commies actually sort of have a point in setting given that the entire thing about the corporations are they are so powerful they can break governments. You have all these items in your tool box to look at and this is the best you got...

You could've even had some of your huge character roster be part of one of the governments or local admin. That alone could be an interesting plot element, but lolno here's my fucktastic fanfic made by listening to a guy whose last unabashedly good film was 20 years ago.

 

[StarkRavingMad]

As I've said in this thread before, my husband will watch anything involving Alien and Predator. Even the stuff he says sucks, he's seen more than once. lol. He's really excited about this new series.

I will probably end up watching it with him at some point, but I have zero expectations at this point.

 

[Internet War Criminal]

They wake up from cryo and immediately the cast is filled with mystery brown meat characters. Hard pass.

Better than the AvP movies anyway. Probably will end up being better than Alien 3 and Resurrection.

The original AvP was great, can’t talk about the second because I’ve never been sober enough to remember how the second one ends, Alien 3 is fucking great if you watch the right cut, and yeah Resurrection is pretty shit.

If you want to shit on bad alien movies, you have Prometheus, Covenant and Romulus right there. Aliens 3 ain’t it.

 

[Adamska]

The original AvP was great

It had decent to good action set-pieces and some decent supporting characters, but the main character was a bland hunk of wood for the most part. It also even in the R cut is too short IMO and you could've had a tiny bit more time with the other human chars before they start dropping like flies, so you might care about them more than as just fodder to make more bugs. It's still probably one of the better films with the Xeno in it, given that I tend to watch it more than Alien 3, even if it's not as good. I have to be in the right mood for Alien 3 given how hard it hits as an opener.

I'd personally stick to the games or the comics on that one, AvP 2 in particular was good, the expansion pack Primal Hunt was neat, but the 2010 game ain't too shabby, if less creative with the story line. They really also need to stop ending on fucking cliff-hangers on alien games too holy shit.

 

[regalterry]

I'd personally stick to the games or the comics on that one, AvP 2 in particular was good, the expansion pack Primal Hunt was neat, but the 2010 game ain't too shabby, if less creative with the story line. They really also need to stop ending on fucking cliff-hangers on alien games too holy shit.

Aliens: Dark Descent is also pretty good, at least when it comes to gameplay. The plot has some corporate Karen as the protagonist, who also somehow ends in command of the marine contingent stranded in the system. Mind you, she is not the highest corporate representative in that locale, so I have no idea why she's ordering marines around.

That being said, the game itself is incredibly tense - you have to sneak around maps with your team to complete objectives, combat being heavily discourages since it only draws in more xenomorphs, and you're racing against the clock as the more you stay on the map, the more of the hive awakens.

It also has elements of survival horror - you will revisit maps numerous times, and any resources you took are now gone, any doors opened stay that way, and anything you welded shut also carries over.

Plotwise it actually does take cues from the RPG, with alien-worshiping cultists and corporate shadow wars.

 

[Commander X]

The ALIEN franchise has always been about the body – its boundaries, its vulnerabilities, its transformations. ALIEN: EARTH reframes this through a sharp queer-coded lens. A haunting fusion of sci-fi, corporate dystopia & PETER PAN references. My review:

The show does contain a sort-of allegory for trans-kids, in that the main character is a minor whose consciousness was irreversibly uploaded to an adult synthetic body without any parental consent or knowledge of the procedure.

Anyways, the Aliens franchise has always been about first year media studies nonsense and jargon that certain people insist on reading into everything. So tiresome.

 

[The Nothingness]

The ALIEN franchise has always been about the body – its boundaries, its vulnerabilities, its transformations. ALIEN: EARTH reframes this through a sharp queer-coded lens. A haunting fusion of sci-fi, corporate dystopia & PETER PAN references. My review:

The show does contain a sort-of allegory for trans-kids, in that the main character is a minor whose consciousness was irreversibly uploaded to an adult synthetic body without any parental consent or knowledge of the procedure.

Anyways, the Aliens franchise has always been about first year media studies nonsense and jargon that certain people insist on reading into everything. So tiresome.

"Did you know all the characters in the first movie have male names and Ripley was originally going to be a man? So yeah, this IP clearly conforms to my sociopolitical worldview, chud! "

 

[Adamska]

The ALIEN franchise has always been about the body – its boundaries, its vulnerabilities, its transformations. ALIEN: EARTH reframes this through a sharp queer-coded lens. A haunting fusion of sci-fi, corporate dystopia & PETER PAN references. My review:

Was this headline written by that worthless journo fuck that just asks if this is the gayest fucking thing he's ever seen every single time? Since that also is strong "GIVE ME ATTENTION SINCE GAY IS TOO NORMAL" coded.

"Did you know all the characters in the first movie have male names and Ripley was originally going to be a man? So yeah, this IP clearly conforms to my sociopolitical worldview, chud! "

Please... Lambert in her backstory was given gender affirming care as a baby, being reassigned female at birth via sci-fi surgery. Also yes this is real; all of the crew had weirdly long backstories that were on hand and that was one element of it. Similar to how technically Brett has mild TBI from his time in the war, it's why he often just parrots Parker. That and he just fucking hates talking unless there's a point to it.

Been late to the boat by... 47 years? Something like that.

Not that these retards know it given how often they hate nerds for knowing the shit they wear the skin of to pretend they aren't midwit failures with no good ideas of their own.

 

[TaimuRadiu]

Also yes this is real; all of the crew had weirdly long backstories that were on hand and that was one element of it.

Is this in a bunch of the novels and comics or whatever? Almost none of any backstory came across in the first movie.

 

[Adamska]

Is this in a bunch of the novels and comics or whatever? Almost none of any backstory came across in the first movie.

It's first seen as a feature for the Alien: Anthology set, as a part of their inquest dossiers for Aliens. It also got dribbed and drabbed in easter eggs for other DVD sets over time. I know Dallas' disgrace as a former navy captain for troop transport came from an earlier DVD for example.

Most of it wasn't needed for the performance, but it definitely did inform the actors what type of character they'd potentially be. For another example, the reason Lambert was so prone to complaining, jumpy, and prone to crying is due to the Nostromo being her first actual job. She was a college girl who just finished her degree. Cartwright gave the performances as such. Kane was an overachiever and prone to chase after rainbows, hence why John Hurt made him cajole the others into going further and further on.

Basically these details got leaked to us slowly as easter eggs in rereleases, or built up on more as the movie remained popular.

 

[CervixHammer]

The show does contain a sort-of allegory for trans-kids, in that the main character is a minor whose consciousness was irreversibly uploaded to an adult synthetic body without any parental consent or knowledge of the procedure.

And from next week:
"If we do this wrong, best case we got a bunch of AIs running around thinking that they're human, worst case? We killed six kids!"
I don't know, "gurlz", that guy sounds like he's been reading too much Benjamin Ryan and Jesse Singal. Somebody should demand the Prodigy Corporation fire him.

 

[augment]

I'm all for body horror. Imagine going to sleep and waking up in the body of a synthetic pajeet.
Now that is freaking horrifying.

 

[TheHarbinger]

The show does contain a sort-of allegory for trans-kids, in that the main character is a minor whose consciousness was irreversibly uploaded to an adult synthetic body without any parental consent or knowledge of the procedure.

They are practically assaulting the audience over the head with the Peter Pan references to make their reddit level social points for faggots to applaud. Stuff like transferring yourself into a host robotic body belongs in stuff like Westworld or Ghost in the Shell. Nothing in this series feels like it is part of the established Alien universe. Of course neither does the black goo or space Jesus engineers that Ridley Scott put into the series so the canon barely matters.

Anyways, the Aliens franchise has always been about first year media studies nonsense and jargon that certain people insist on reading into everything. So tiresome.

The first movie is the only serious one in the franchise. Maybe Alien 3: Special Edition could count as well. Predator is practically the same in that regard as well. And fans of both series seem to love the campy and idiotic tones of the first sequels in each franchise. Such wasted potential.

I'm all for body horror. Imagine going to sleep and waking up in the body of a synthetic pajeet.
Now that is freaking horrifying.

I still laugh at that horror premise when I think of Cartman from South Park waking up after being transformed into a ginger kid overnight.

 

[TaimuRadiu]

Nothing in this series feels like it is part of the established Alien universe.

Well, you know, since you never hear of Prodigy or of anything involving these synthetics literally anywhere in the franchise, that might be a hint of things to come.

 

[homophobic fujoshi]

I thought the first episode was pretty good, but the second one went completely off the rails. Just utterly ridiculous borderline parody vibes. Everything is too silly and almost feels aimed at kids, the flashbacks don't work, the pacing is bad. I can ignore some plot holes but not how nonsensical the actual scenes are. The way the alien just rips everyone into shreds in like two seconds is dumb, on the costume party the corpses were even still arranged sitting at the table lol. And then gets knocked out and shoved into a bag. I get that the show is not aiming for realism but this style just doesn't suit this franchise at all. I'm someone who's more into the android stuff at this point (I think xenomorphs have been done to death) and was interested in seeing some lore about Weyland-Yutani etc. But it's obvious this show is only going to get stupider with every episode.

"Guard the omelette" RIP the art of script writing.

 

[Adamska]

was interested in seeing some lore about Weyland-Yutani etc

I wasn't because I don't expect any Hollywood writer this time and era to be capable of really writing out anything competent about the megacorporation beyond just making them as cartoonishly evil or philosophical as they can. They can't even understand how retarded it is to have the company spam resources to catch a thing that honestly burns billions of dollars given how stupid they manage things.

In the first movie, I always was pretty certain they weren't aware of how dangerous the creature was. They might have known about the signal and have an idea on what the warning meant, but they didn't know. It then gets compounded with Ash, whose model is canonically known to got fritzy even when not used as a sleeper agent. Aliens had a Jr. exec want to get first dibs and gamble the colony away via his greed and desire to get bigger. The company was more benignly shit with how it treated Ripley as a whole, but was still not incompetent. 3 starts the idiot ball IMO a bit, but it's in a way that makes sense because after losing a shake n bake colony and a whole platoon of Marines? Of fucking course it makes sense to try and get something out of the fire, and thankfully this place its on is already a loss leader beyond letting it run via the convicts remaining.

I don't trust nor do I expect anyone currently writing for entertainment to understand how you could handle a corporation in a way that is interesting. An Alien show could be fascinating as you have different branches of Wey-Yu argue on the use cases for the alien; what it can bring to the table versus risk assessment. Maybe have the warfare branch highlight containment proceedures in event of a breach being why they're actually not that interested in it. Or have the chemicalworks department be the most gung-ho. Juniors trying to get ahead and fucking over others over a thing they do not understand, or old hands wanting to show they still got it via bullshit dick waving.

As for the android sleeving? Eh. It's been done in other series like Alita and Ghost in the Shell. Alien COULD do that, and in fact did in comics (a synth was forced into an alien duplicate to study the hive and this was something that fucked with them. Eisenberg in AVP2 was traumatized by how he was broken by the Alien and hid this and a growing cyberpsychosis behind control. It's been done before, and this show doesn't bring anything new to it IMO.

Also there already was quite a bit of neat lore that Hawley and Scott threw out for their garbage ideas; it effectively owned Titan and its main HQ is on the moon. It also represents the synchronization and rapproachment between the UK and Japan, and that itself leads to neat ideas. Like for example, did this Three Worlds Empire fuse due to the current Queen of the UK also being the current Japanese Empress? How much does Weyland Industries and Yutani own in terms of economy of this state? Probably a ridiculous amount.

And on top of it, how does this entanglement affect its relationship with the United Americas.

All neat stuff they threw in the bin for this shit.

 

[CaptainAutism69]

What a load of shit. A ship with monsters crashes, and kids in android bodies are sent in to deal with it.
The alien looks shit, characters are shit, the story is a mess.
Shit