Alien: Covenant/Alien Series thoughts.

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Nah, that entire clip is an oof; reusing sound effects from a movie 50 years ago due to retards following the great auteur fucking lie when it came to that film as a shitty key jangle. Continuing and trying to ignore Cameron's own efforts in even building that fucking world setting even though a lot of its best insight was due to Aliens. That shitty cobra head bobbing and hand snapping shit you'd see in Ru Paul's Drag Race, the line delivery having all the energy of a failed D-list reality tv celebrity, and crappily mimicking the distortion effects from Isolation because you academically know that it's supposed to be creepy without knowing why.

No sudden slowdowns on certain words to add to the horror. No sudden speed-ups that you'd see in bad VHS copies that do the same. And also they keep relying on Scott rather than looking back to the guy who did the set and sound designs. Like yeah they're dead, but reminder Sega's Isolation team was able to read their fucking notes. The video game company could do it, so why can't you Hollyweird.

It's amazing how incompetent the marketing division is for this fucking product. It's amazing how bad they all are in selling shit nowadays; like to the point they should be fired out of a cannon screaming.
 
This guy's acting seems better than "But this isn't for our world, is it Ms. Yutani". Not as stiff, but where his script-font "Damaged" forehead tattoo? (Also, she needed a cigarette instead of that weird ring. Would've made it feel more "Alien happens about two years from now", and her hand movements would probably have felt more natural)

Nice "we don't have an ending for this" cut-off there. Real smooth, DisneyFXmarketing.
 
Retconing Romulus is a stupid move since Romulus did an attempt to swerve the franchise back to its roots. A bit too hard with the memberberries, but it was a blessing after Prometheus and Covenant.

Also why does Earth have to put itself in a specific timeframe, and damage other movies by proxy? Just simply sending a team to some abandoned space station shouldn't be that hard. No timeframe, no space bodies, and all the other shit needed. Get a group of people, send them up, bam, done, you got an Alien movie. Android optional.
 
Aib Ld said:
Retconing Romulus is a stupid move since Romulus did an attempt to swerve the franchise back to its roots.
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From the reviews and interviews, it doesn't seem like anything is being retconned except for the idea that David created the Xenomorph in "Covenant" (which is still debatable, and Ridley Scott has probably changed his mind about it a few times a year anyway). Romulus just hasn't happened yet. Prometheus and Covenant have, but they're mostly irrelevant to the show. Peter Weyland and (whatever role she had in the company) Meredith Vickers are dead, David fucked off with the Covenant to do mad scientist stuff. Maybe he'll show up in a later season, especially if it bounces around the timeline like Fargo.

There may be some lingering questions about why, in Romulus, W-Y scooped up the Xenomorph Ripley had kicked out of the shuttle from the area where the Nostromo blew up, instead of just going to where they know a boatload of eggs are (unless the exact coordinates were never transmitted and only on the Nostromo and Maginot's computers, in which case, why not?).

Latest teasers - the first of which has caused some amusing "WHY IS IT QUOTING PROMETHEUS? I THOUGHT PROMETHEUS WASN'T CANON ANYMORE REEEEEE" seething - seem like they should have been the first ones instead of waiting for less than a week before the first two episodes drop.

 
CervixHammer said:
Maybe he'll show up in a later season,
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That's like finding out that your diabetic rotting foot did not quite kill the melanoma that originated from it before it metastasized into your dick and brain. You're already screaming, you don't need to make it worse. I already think this show's cooked, this would just be beating a dead horse until it prolapses.

As for the spoiler clips, it's all the things that the 2003 directors cut pushed towards, and thus a fail. First one's still trying desperately to use the alarm shit, but at least added that heart rate thing. Damning they are really trying to avoid the main plot being a robot girl being the key to everything as much as they can and trying to use the terrible justifications that Scott made for the 2003 cut, rather than his 1999 commentary where he explains why slow pacing is king. It's almost like they know that's a brain tumor of an idea or something.

Also love the attempts to induce epilepsy with the second one. That and it showing the ramp ups from near the end really sell to me that this show's going to be a plodding piece of ass with mid to meh acting.
 
Noah Hawley and Jeff Russo covering Cream again in this teaser: "Strange Brew" and Roy Batty Kirsch watching alien bloodsports in a jar. Ostensibly, on Legion previously mentioned in a lengthy profile from Texas Monthly:
But FX wanted a show that would be set on Earth, which gave Hawley the chance to do something different with the franchise. For some reason, the chorus of the classic Cream song “Strange Brew” kept running through his mind: “Strange brew, kill what’s inside of you.” On one level, the chest-burster level, it was obvious what this meant. But Hawley was wrestling with other ideas. Who were the corporate masters sending these working-class space truckers to their deaths? Why are people such monsters? How do we deal with AI? Does humanity deserve to survive?
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Also I don't know which song it is yet, but if I were picking a Tool song to stick in an Alien TV show, it would probably be "Vicarious".
 
BrunoMattei said:
He lived long enough to see AVP come to fruition. When asked for a comment he said "Video game."
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Dan O'Bannon got upset that they rejected his idea of linking the Predators and Xenomorphs together. He wanted to show Xenomorphs literally transforming into Predators as their next physical phase. His script had an adult Xenomorph shed its skin and then become an adult Predator which would then tie the franchises together. It was incredibly stupid. David Giler personally rejected it which then caused O'Bannon to have a big personal meltdown and start ripping on the AvP films and seethe to the media once again.

Giler also didn't support O'Bannon when he got sued over plagiarism in the first Alien script and had to settle with the guy who sued Fox. O'Bannon was honestly lucky to get anything more than a story credit for Alien seeing how much he stole from other writers. Giler was the guy who got O'Bannon fired from the Alien series and took over which created huge animosity between them. Giler was then made producer for practically every Alien related movie, including often being executive producer, until he died. While O'Bannon would badmouth every single Alien related project from the sidelines until he died.

The guy who did the rewrites for the AvP films ended up writing all of the Avatar films for James Cameron as well. O'Bannon was a committed bridge burner. Who basically argued his way out of working on the Alien franchise. But he probably had the least to do with its creation out of all of the original team.
 
Why hello there David Giler, I didn't fancy seeing you reincarnated here on the Farms.
 
Apparently according to the negative reviews to Alien: Welcome to Earf, it's going to be a plodding piece of shit that wastes essentially an entire season building up to the action shots you see in the trailer. So don't expect much from those two episodes. Especially since they're doing two episodes to try and cheat the numbers.
 
Adamska said:
Apparently according to the negative reviews to Alien: Welcome to Earf, it's going to be a plodding piece of shit that wastes essentially an entire season building up to the action shots you see in the trailer. So don't expect much from those two episodes. Especially since they're doing two episodes to try and cheat the numbers.
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I'm 40 min into ep1 and it's not bad from a Sci fi perspective so far. interesting concepts with an interesting setting.

I don't think the fans of the horror elements of Alien will like it yet but if you're into the overall future sci-fi concepts ok

edit: watching more of ep2...it's anime alien. clear references to Alita battle angel, Akira and L from death note imo.
 
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ihaveelbows said:
edit: watching more of ep2...it's anime alien. clear references to Alita battle angel, Akira and L from death note imo.
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I got Ghost in the Shell vibes from the protagonist who's going to be the key for everything; strong Major at Home energy. It's inevitable when you have a taskforce of sleeved people.

And I'm not shocked it's doing sci-fi navel gazing; that's what Scott wanted to do with Alien after he started losing his touch post Gladiator and when he began to feel the reaper's grip on his heart. It's why I knew this wasn't going to be a good Alien product. Especially since there were decades of material that already did a lot of this stuff already. Sleeving a human into a synth; done in a video game like 30 years ago. Aliens invading Earth? Done 35 years ago.

Also I'm very confident that most of the run for this is going to be plodding, with random bursts of CGI violence to make you remember to look up from the phone or stop being brain dead for a second.

I like sci-fi, but I don't need the generic sloppa with a paint job fed to me, especially since I know these cunts threw out the works and lore setting that others already did or put effort into, which you can find in the Alien: RPG that Free League Publishing made. They already tried that with Prometheus.
 
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>Weyland no longer owning the moon
>No prometheus/covenant references
>Kinda retro tech, but not Romulus tier retro
>Alien RPG lore done goofed
Lorebros, I'm confused. Is Ridleycanon gone or what?
 
ñññ said:
>Weyland no longer owning the moon
>No prometheus/covenant references
>Kinda retro tech, but not Romulus tier retro
>Alien RPG lore done goofed
Lorebros, I'm confused. Is Ridleycanon gone or what?
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I'm not shocked they're not bothering to do a lot of world building given that that's effort and this shitshow was on stasis and lifesupport for years before RatCo desperately starting wanting to shove AvP down our throats.

They just don't give a shit, though the director of the show sort of does and talks with Scott; I will at least state this given his efforts with Fargo. The problem is that Ridley Scott wasn't the setting creator given it was a big team effort; O'Bannon, Giler, Giger, and others were fucking critical for the first movie to work out, and on top of that James Cameron more than anyone else I think was the one to set the setting and universe in motion.

Scott also has already thrown away his own understanding of film out the window before too; he actually performed some gross doublethink on his 2003 cut's commentary that runs counter to the 1999 commentary where he tries to be more "modern" despite that making the film worse. Also yes, I think the 2003 cut, which was marketed as the Director's Cut by FOX for more money, was inferior, with only one scene being better, which was when Lambert slapped the shit out of Ripley.

Last but not least he doesn't give a rotten shit about lore or accuracy, and in fact fucking hates you for doing so since it makes him look bad and it often makes his movies worse at times. Not even kidding given his comments on Napoleon getting rubbished for being the boring shit it was had some fun points about it. Same as Gladiator 2. Also there's a reason he fucked with Xeno lifecycles for Alien: Covenant, though that got retconned.

Alien's always been happy to spam retcons, given that Ripley even having a daughter was one. It's a good but also very obnoxious feature that hacks who can't write their own stories love to abuse.

As for half-assing the retrotech, it's probably a mix of copium excuses (Earth likely would have better tech than an older model M-Class starfreighter), but also because the effort and budget to make it match Alien would be too damn hard for a T-Show and would require effort.

tl;dr Hollyweird doesn't give a rotten shit about what was written before, and spams their own shitty ideas instead, hoping their free botnets, the fake and gay review website that cherry picks reviewers for their corporate besties and masters, and shills paid lower than a crackwhore to sell their dignity does the work for them.
 
This is a painfully bad show. The worst editing I've ever seen in a television show. The dialog is atrocious and embarrassingly filled with cringe inducing nonsense. The characters are just spewing exposition at the audience in forced unnatural conversations. The casting is DEI to the extreme. The lead actress is physically unattractive (and is apparently from a show business family). This is brutally awful.

I don't think anyone with a brain will be able to watch this series. Not even watch and enjoy....just literally finish the series without having to quit. I can barely make it through the first episode. Unless you are addicted to the Alien series like a drug addict needs heroin then just quit while you are ahead.
 
Depends how you feel about Fargo and Legion. That's seven 👍 and one👎 for me (season 4, man. The fart joke took me out of it, and the weird nurse poisoning people so there could be more fart jokes killed my interest after a few episodes. season 5 was alright, once you get past the "oh my gosh how could Trump get elected" thing to the meat of the story).

In short:
watching people die horribly to various alien life forms.webp

(although I'm not sure I like where this is going with Wendy's connection to the xenomorph, but I also remember getting nervous when Legion brought time travel into the story, and that turned out fine)

If it were me, though, my self-indulgent wank part would have been to make the bug-eyed CEO a complete self-parody and put "Vicarious" in, instead of "Stinkfist", if reaching for a Tool song to put over the end credits to an episode. That's my kind of story, it's no fun 'til someone dies. :tomgirl: :
who's mr october anyway.webp
Pull your head on out your hippie haze and give a listen nevermind, he's doing the "I'm scared for the future my children will live in, so I am putting one of them in the Alien TV show thing. awwwww.
 
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