Alien: Covenant/Alien Series thoughts.

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I watched it like two days ago because I'm a stupid asshole (I found it funny that its matinee price was lower than Guardians Vol. 2 despite it being out longer btw), and hoo boy it sucked; I honest to god wanted to walk out around the time the actual Alien was on screen, and did walk literally as soon as the credits rolled. It was the least enjoyable movie out of all of the Alien movies, including AVP which is impressive.

None of the characters have any time devoted to them. They also act completely stupid and risk so many lives it hurts as well, so gg. On top of that; Scott abuses top billing to get asses in seats while then killing that actor in 5 minutes, and recycles half of the ideas he had from other movies.

Heck, it devolved into B-movie slasher schlock, which is amazing in its ineptness given how the original film he made was one of those and he elevated it; I guess not having enough clout to enable the auteur theory is critical to a movie being good. It feels like significant and clunky as hell edits exist in the movie, which knowing Scott being the type to release multiple variations of his films is a given. Hell, I knew it was bad when it started, since the opening itself gives a shit tone that flies in the face of most of the movie, and the ending was like the beginning of Alien 3 in its own way and the laziest 'circle' I ever saw.

Good thing you can pretty much call it not canon if you give a shit about lore, since the chestburster and explanation for the alien eggs are debunked by the movie he made like 40 years ago. You can also utterly edit his movie to both get rid of and remove the first five and the last 20 minutes and it'd actually improve.
 
the thing that pissed me off the most was the first-person Alien vision sequence. It looked like that Google image-editing filter that makes everything looking swirly and picks out animal shapes from the photo. Never mind the lore suggesting that the Aliens don't have any visual sense, it just looked ugly and sloppy.
 
Adamska said:
I watched it like two days ago because I'm a stupid asshole (I found it funny that its matinee price was lower than Guardians Vol. 2 despite it being out longer btw), and hoo boy it sucked; I honest to god wanted to walk out around the time the actual Alien was on screen, and did walk literally as soon as the credits rolled. It was the least enjoyable movie out of all of the Alien movies, including AVP which is impressive.

None of the characters have any time devoted to them. They also act completely stupid and risk so many lives it hurts as well, so gg. On top of that; Scott abuses top billing to get asses in seats while then killing that actor in 5 minutes, and recycles half of the ideas he had from other movies.

Heck, it devolved into B-movie slasher schlock, which is amazing in its ineptness given how the original film he made was one of those and he elevated it; I guess not having enough clout to enable the auteur theory is critical to a movie being good. It feels like significant and clunky as hell edits exist in the movie, which knowing Scott being the type to release multiple variations of his films is a given. Hell, I knew it was bad when it started, since the opening itself gives a shit tone that flies in the face of most of the movie, and the ending was like the beginning of Alien 3 in its own way and the laziest 'circle' I ever saw.

Good thing you can pretty much call it not canon if you give a shit about lore, since the chestburster and explanation for the alien eggs are debunked by the movie he made like 40 years ago. You can also utterly edit his movie to both get rid of and remove the first five and the last 20 minutes and it'd actually improve.
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Considering that several fanedits exist of not just the Alien movies, but Prometheus as well (especially Prometheus, considering the reception to it) I think it's a given that Covenant will receive fanedits as soon as the film comes out on Bluray/DVD.
 
Way to much android philosophising about what life is and their place in it, such a tired trope at this point and a waste of fassbender.

Scott does know this is a horror movie right? I didnt go to fucking aliens for deep thoughts, i wanna see chests burst and penis monsters eat people.

Not everything has to be enlightened.
 
I had Scott has no plans whatsoever to do a director's cut of Covenant. Apparently there wasn't anything cut worth seeing.
 
SteelPlatedHeart said:
I had Scott has no plans whatsoever to do a director's cut of Covenant. Apparently there wasn't anything cut worth seeing.
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Given how hard he lied about Prometheus and it was rewritten, how hard the trailer lied (seriously, the action bits you see in it are pretty much all that's in the film and really tried to hide how much of a Fassbender boner he has), how lazy he was (the neomorphs came from an earlier script for Prometheus, instead of Shaw birthing the octopus it would've ripped out of her BF while they were fucking) and given how he works as a director, I'm calling bullshit.
 
Ruin said:
Did I watch the movie wrong or did they never explain why David becomes a sex obsessed Xenomorph sympathizing sadist?
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Nope, they don't explain why he was so obsessive with creation or why he was a murderous cock. He was kind of a dick in the original, but that was more due to Weyland from what I understand.

Don't forget they did the twin fight between good and evil and actually are dumb enough to not just
Have the evil twin (David) win, but also have him perfectly recreate the other android (Walter)'s injuries perfectly, his hair tone perfectly, and somehow fool people he's been working with for years until the very end.

It's really obvious that this was a paycheck movie and a bitter and pissy reaction from an over the hill auteur with how it came out.
 
I've heard it theorized Scott doesn't actually want to make Alien movies, he just wants to make movies about David the Android. But Fox will only let him make those if he puts the Alien in them because of brand power.

Personally I think this really explains Prometheus and Covenant.
 
Replicant Sasquatch said:
I've heard it theorized Scott doesn't actually want to make Alien movies, he just wants to make movies about David the Android. But Fox will only let him make those if he puts the Alien in them because of brand power.

Personally I think this really explains Prometheus and Covenant.
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If I wanted to watch a director masturbate to his muse, I'd watch a Tim Burton film though.
 
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