Act like your avatar! - Aka the official RP

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Did I pay actual money to get this mustache trimmed like this?
 
PIKA! PIKACHU! PEEEEEEKAAAAA CHOOOOO PI-KAH-CHOO
 
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Well met Sister. Now let us deal with those deviant heretics.
 
Can't you see
I love you
Please don't break my heart in two
That's not hard to do
'Cause I don't have a wooden heart
And if you say goodbye
Then I know that I would cry
Maybe I would die
'Cause I don't have a wooden heart
Just a chocolate one
It’s above room temperature
And I’m slowly melting
SSSSSennnnnndd heeeelllllllp
 
I heard you guys are exceptionally good at tracking people down. So I need your help to track down The Boss of Passione.
 
I can't decide which is more mind rendingly horrifying. The knowledge that we are not alone in the universe. That there are things which have existed for vigintillions of eons before humans and will exist for vigintillions of eons after we are no longer a memory. Things that at any moment could snuff us out with little more than a thought. we are but helpless specs swirling among black seas of infinity. Or the fact that anyone takes Jonathan Yaniv seriously.
 
Just let me set my bourbon and advocaat down here and I'd be more than happy to join the party.
 
I don’t know what I’m doing, or why I’m doing this. But hey fuck you and... fuck it *fires blindly* HAHAHA THAT WILL TEACH YOU.... Whatever it was a bunch of aliens or rich guys tried to get me to do.
 
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