Act like your avatar! - Aka the official RP

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*grunts and sweats* *stares at a mountain for 2 minutes*

......nrnggg uhhh! I just gotta believe in myself.....................................I'm a pretty good fighter.......I am the chosen one after all.........I have the power of friendship........I can win the fight against the big evil bad man!...

COME ON GUYS LETS USE TEAMWORK AND TO IT TOGETHER....................*starts running in a field with generic pop punk rock music in the background*
 
*snort mountains of blow, laugh hysterically, pistol whip a dude, help bury a body, later help dig up said body and retch uncontrollably at the stench before burying the corpse somewhere else, dime out my associates and live the rest of my life like a schnook*
 
Time for Imperial wars, absolute christian feudalism, tard wrangling the pope, crusades, political and religious infighting, new and brutal ways to torture prisoners, and being blessed by God.
 
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In the style of Top Gear (As inspired by this https://youtu.be/rWTcPdYfsAc?t=119):
May- Hammond.
Hammond- Yes?
May- It's not stopping!
Hammond- What?!
May- IT'S NOT STOPPING!
Hammond- Is that signal red?
May- Yes.
Hammond- Well put it into emergency!
May- It's still not stopping!
Hammond- Jeremy, help!
Clarkson- What manner of things are going on in here?
May- The wheels are locked up and we're not stopping!
Clarkson- Well try cadence braking!
May- I already did, man!
Clarkson- Well try again!
May- It's in emergency!
Clarkson- What does that matter?!
May- Once the brake controller is in the emergency position, I can't release the brakes until we stop.
Clarkson- What?
May- We're in emergency until we stop, so I can't cadence brake and it's all up to the wheel slip protection. Which can't work because the wheels are locked.
Clarkson- Ah.
Hammond- WE'RE ABOUT TO GO THROUGH ANOTHER RED!
Clarkson- Oh shit! JAMES! DO SOMETHING!
May- What can I do?! Shouting can't solve this!
Hammond- Are those headlights reflecting off the adjoining tracks?
May- Errrrr...
Clarkson- Is that another train?
May- Oh cock!
*screaming*
Clarkson- That's not gone well.
Hammond- Jeremy, you're on top of me!
May- Errrm chaps, does anyone have the jaws of life?
Hammond- Why?
May- I'm a bit stuck.
Clarkson- A bit? Half a train cab and some doors have fallen on you.
May- Well could you get some help?
Clarkson- James, we're trapped in a tunnel. That door won't open, that door won't open. There's a train there and a wall there. How am I going to get help?
May- I don't know, I'm trapped here! Why don't you figure something out?
Hammond- How about you get off me first!
 
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