❄️ Snowflake Abby Brown

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Abby was inspired to plan her own wedding on Facebook:

I’ve been watching the royal wedding with my mom Kathy Brown all morning and I pretty much planned my entire wedding in my head
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no pressure William Berkebile
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but I’m wearing a black dress. Walking down the isle to this is Halloween. Our vows will be the ones from corpse bride. Me and cough cough hopefully Wilbur one day will wear lots of eye makeup. My dad will sing the simply meant to be song. Well have all screamo at our reception but we fersure have to play things that rhyme with orange by I set my friends on fire cause it’s me and willies song. I’m wearing an emo suit to my reception. My mom is my maid of honor. My dad and I would have our dance or whatever to lullaby by Billie Joel. Ok now I want to get married lol. Damnit. Lol. Thanks Harry and Megan
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OH AND ZERO IS THE RING BARRER
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And looks like Willie is back in the mix.
 
Bunny at Law said:
imagine having no friends to the point where your mom is your MOH
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Eh, that's actually pretty common, even with popular women. MOHs are often expected to help with a lot of the planning, so it helps to have an older woman who has experience with weddings. Your mom is probably going to be better in that department than your biffles from high school.

I was a MOH in college, and I felt bad because I wasn't able to be very helpful between inexperience and being busy.

Abby is still pathetic, though. A halloween wedding with a black dress? Tacky, just like everything else about her.
 
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Abby is selling that good good shit. Well, one good good shit. Also, I may be stupid, but wouldn't that shirt say OME in the mirror, not EMO?
 
Rabbit Bones said:
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Abby is selling that good good shit. Well, one good good shit. Also, I may be stupid, but wouldn't that shirt say OME in the mirror, not EMO?
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Well at least this latest venture only cost her parents a pack of printer iron-ons.

It’s good she’s making that big ass “official Ashley Brown Merch” copyright at the bottom, don’t want people thinking you’re wearing knock-off Ashley Brown printer iron-on shirts.
 
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given this is the second time her emo phase has been skinwalking an emo boy i wonder if she's got an autoandrophilia thing going on, she's like a fujo but with femmey emo bois instead of yaoi husbandos... you can tell she has a type but he doesn't really exist and if he did he probably wouldn't go for her so she settles for the shit tier scene boy Wilbur...

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Goddamn they both look diseased...

Well, at least Abby is back to being her True and Honest scene queen self.
 
lolcow field researcher said:
given this is the second time her emo phase has been skinwalking an emo boy i wonder if she's got an autoandrophilia thing going on, she's like a fujo but with femmey emo bois instead of yaoi husbandos... you can tell she has a type but he doesn't really exist and if he did he probably wouldn't go for her so she settles for the shit tier scene boy Wilbur...

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Wilbur some how stole Michael Jackson’s circa 1978 nose.
 
Kurosaki Ichigo said:
Goddamn they both look diseased...

Well, at least Abby is back to being her True and Honest scene queen self.
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Personally I’m excited to see her follow up phase. She always tends to retreat to her emo phase when another phase burns out before she can decide on a new one and she’ll sit on that stock backup identity till she finds inspiration. Emo, scene, emo, Hello Kitty, emo, Melanie, Xan, gay, emo again.

Will she have another Harley Quinn or Nightmare phase when Halloween comes around? What about a Pokémon phase, I can totally see her posing in a Misty costume while holding a plastic pokeball to her face with its characteristic deranged grin. She supposedly has her cosmetology license, why hasn’t she had an MUA/influencer phase yet? Ha, someone should suggest she watch Sons of Anarchy so she can go on a wannabe biker babe bender.

Goddamn I really wish she didn’t block me on Facebook, her antics really amuse me.
 
Ceres said:
Personally I’m excited to see her follow up phase. She always tends to retreat to her emo phase when another phase burns out before she can decide on a new one and she’ll sit on that stock backup identity till she finds inspiration. Emo, scene, emo, Hello Kitty, emo, Melanie, Xan, gay, emo again.

Will she have another Harley Quinn or Nightmare phase when Halloween comes around? What about a Pokémon phase, I can totally see her posing in a Misty costume while holding a plastic pokeball to her face with its characteristic deranged grin. She supposedly has her cosmetology license, why hasn’t she had an MUA/influencer phase yet? Ha, someone should suggest she watch Sons of Anarchy so she can go on a wannabe biker babe bender.

Goddamn I really wish she didn’t block me on Facebook, her antics really amuse me.
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did she block you though? because she also deletes and remakes accounts constantly.
 
Muscle Bra said:
Now, I need to ask what the significance of the year 2008 is. Is that when emo/scene was at the peak of its popularity, was that the year she graduated high school, or is it something else?
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I think it was peak in 2006 and 2007, and i think Abby probably peaked then too, which is why she wants to return so bad. She probably puts 2008 because it was so long ago no one can really remember the specifics. i distinctly remember 2008 being when the scene kids began the shift to wearing floral prints and being lumberjack hipsters
 
So she has a job interview.... someone commented “is it at hot topic” :story::story: As if.
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:powerlevel: I also found out I have a mutual friend on Facebook with Boss Hog. :powerlevel:
 
the phase changes are so creepy at this point that I don't know how anyone in her real life doesn't worry and get her some serious help. she's 24 and obsessed with reliving the emo glory days of 10+ years ago, in between other rapidly shifting and nightmare-inducingly absurd contemporary phases like Babby and Xabby..

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image / video dump

these are in no real order and i'm leaving out more recently discussed or well known phases but all of this seems to have happened within the past year
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lolcow field researcher said:
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These pics are, IMO, the most cringe-worthy of the bunch since they show Abby's parents not just permitting her to dress and act like a complete whack job but seemingly encouraging her to do so instead of growing the fuck up and getting a job.

I know they adopted Abby, and I am aware that an adopted child may come with some additional baggage but, at some point, even the most tolerant parents in the world have to realize it's time to cut bait and give it up as a bad job. I know I've said it before but, if more of our lolcows had parents who actually parented, this would be a very different forum.
 
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