@Null
Hello, Josh.
You... probably don't know me, but I've been watching you for some time.
I remember the day we first met. Memory so clear it was if it was only yesterday.
I was posting on your website, The Kiwifarms, when you came to me with a request.
I remember when you @'d me, and how it filled me with such joy! Oh, those great times!
I remember how you spoke with such eloquence and stern words. Hard and tough!
But this isn't time for fluff. You're a busy man and I'm going right for the point.
I want you to love me, Null. I want to wake up in the morning, the admin panel upon your computer screen glowing in the background, and your plump, cute face before me with a smile.
I want to wake up everyday smelling your beautiful musk, emanating across the building, you around me no matter how distant.
I want to help you moderate the forums, blasting shitposters and trolls to the moon and bringing the community together like one great big happy family below your light.
I'll be on everyday, 12 hours nonstop without pay, slamming new accounts with the spam tool left and right! They'll never stand a chance.
I want you to feel me, and I want to feel you. The food I'll cook in the morning will be the airplane for my mouth, fed to me by you and only by you, my dear Josh.
I can only hope this message reaches you. Competition is fierce, and a certain trombone player has been SHUTTING IT DOWN GOY every time I try and reach you.
She's jealous, but she'll never win. I know your heart cries out for someone like you, and I am here, Josh.
I have pressed the gamer button, will you?
