So we have two troons: one an alcoholic grifter with a nasty temper who claims to have DID; the other a cowardly, hygienically-challenged, autistic child-man who spends much of his days wallowing in cartoonish authoritarian fantasies.
Oh yeah, this roommate sitcom was going to last. Honestly, I'm amazed they've managed to live together for as long as they have.
If Jon actually wanted to kill himself, he'd fucking do it, gun or no gun. Does Jon follow Richard on Twitter? Because that melted trash bag has made a pretty much identical claim--that he suffers greatly from suicidal ideation, but would only do the deed if he ever had access to a firearm. Apparently, the overwhelming desire to end the pain of one's worthless existence can be mollified by the lack of the right dramatic, gory (and, dare I say, phallocentric?) means to do it.
Which is such obvious fucking horseshit, especially to anybody who has actually attempted suicide, or done a "test run" to see if the easiest, surest method at their disposal might actually work. Horse. Fucking. Shit. His suicidal ideation is as real as his alleged DID.
So Jon's forthcoming move has nothing to do with Phil acquiring a firearm, or at least not with Jon being terrified of its existence in the apartment lest he find it and his suicidal/homicidal alter kills him with it.
My theory: For the last year, Phil's been getting even more wrapped up in Antifa, and more paranoid and radicalized, with more talk of actually committing violent acts. At the same time, some Antifa shithead or other has actually taken him out and attempted to teach him to handle and shoot firearms--which has only further enflamed Phil's posturing as someone capable of doing violence. Also, getting his manhole installed has not done anything to make Phil a happier, more docile spud; if anything, I think the disappointing results, unpleasant ongoing maintenance requirements, and subsequent pain and smelly discharge have proven to be a huge downer for him. But since he has no worthwhile coping mechanisms to speak of, getting further into Antifa/ancom shit while waving his phantom dick around and proclaiming what a badass he is has to suffice.
And all of that has got to make Phil--who was candidate for Most Disgusting Roommate Ever, even at the very beginning--even harder to live with. He's got to be absolutely fucking impossible, at this point.
Even a year ago, Phil was largely content to play in his fantasy world of Australatina, drawing maps and roadsigns, and coming up with new adventures for his imaginary friend Xochi. Sure, violence, especially of the jackbooted authoritarian kind, has always been a big part of Phil's fantasy life. But going back, say, a year and a half ago, and watching him sperg over bikes and his imaginary third-world dictatorship and his next shitty tattoo--it seems almost innocent by comparison to where he's at now.
I still maintain that Phil could easily be manipulated by the wrong far-left "comrades," and be used as a patsy for some violent act. He's stupid and a coward, and thus utterly worthless in an actual fight or mob action. But he's not too cowardly to be the guy sent to place a package bomb on a target's doorstep, for example, especially if doing so would get him asspats from his "comrades," and assurances that he's the Antifa "supersoldier" he longs to be. It wouldn't take a genius to manipulate him into doing something with potentially deadly consequences; just somebody willing to tolerate his presence and treat him as an asset, as somebody who belonged.
So if Jon's moving out is all due to Phil owning an actual gun, it's because holy shit, yes, get away from this impulsive, increasingly radicalized exceptional individual before he inevitably does something regrettable with it. And with Phil, that could take all kinds of forms. After three years of living in the squalor and stench of that shitty apartment, there are apparently realities no amount of vodka can blot out, and one is that Phil is even less mentally stable and more violence-obsessed than ever. So it's better to leave while the getting is good, because if Phil runs afoul of the law, or does something that garners widespread attention, Jon's going to get splattered by that--and probably end up homeless again as a result.
Oh, and vodka is probably cheaper and easier to buy in the Midwest than it is in Oregon, because Oregon taxes the shit out of liquor, and has state-owned liquor stores that are only open for limited hours. It's 8:00 PM and you've already drained that handle you bought? Well, you're shit out of luck until late the following morning. For such a "progressive" state that has legalized weed, Oregon has got some of the most absurdly regressive liquor laws anywhere. How is a drunk to live, under such circumstances?
