195 - If you see this thread, you must post in it.

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A college professor was addressing his history class. He began his lecture by saying, “Let’s get one thing straight: God is not real; the only God is Obama and the powerful female clitoris.” One student raised his hand and stood up and said, “Sir, I’m sorry to interrupt, but where I come from we don’t talk bad about God, because he’s our best friend.” The professor then said, “What are you, an idiot? Shut up, idiot. This is college and we hate Christ. Who do you think you are, Christian?” The student responded by picking up his bag, putting on his cowboy hat and punching the teacher in the face. “My name is Sgt. Johnathan Gunderson. And your plan won’t work, Goltar.” Because when the sergeant punched the professor, he punched the mask off of his face, revealing the praying mantis head underneath. “You’ve figured out my evil plan this time, Sgt. Gunderson. But as long as there are aborted fetuses for me to feast upon, I will always be stronger than America!” He then flew away to his lair. Share this status if you want to save America and end abortion.
 
Alright, imma gun be real with you here. Ever since the rain stopped and my view put the window became clear I saw your supple face in the distance. My testicles instantly deflated as I was overcome with a god like urge to fornicate. You oh dearly beloved hold the key to my heart, and in your silence I have found death. This is no threat, but a message of pure truth. My short but thick man rod needs you. It terms for your warmth. But all you do is say no. So this is it, I’m fucking done. Sure you helped me through hard times, but all you’ve done is fuck me in the ass. I said I’d try pegging once, okay?? ONCE?! And now everytime we fuck you want to go into my ass. Whatever, have a good day bitch.
 
I'm gonna buy a fucking gun, I swear to God.

Mostly because it's a pretty sensible time to do it, with so many good entry level options at excellent prices, plus it's prime time to get ahead of legislation come November. The only question is which.
 
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