🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

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Will Ralph see Xander on November 15th?

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4090 Chad said:
Ralph is too big of a pussy to kill himself.
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Too big of a pussy to kill himself intentionally.

He drives like a kamikaze pilot flies, even with his wife and infant daughter in the vehicle, and his drug and alcohol intake would be considered serial suicide attempts in anyone else.
 
There are only four possible ways the Ralphahog can die:
  1. Unintentional drug overdose;
  2. Auto-erotic asphyxiation;
  3. Massive heart attack caused by an excess of lard in his arteries; OR
  4. Robbed, beaten, and stabbed in a favela while trolling for underaged prostitutes.
I can’t see him becoming an hero. Maybe if he was completely blacked out on liquor and xans (which is a given) he might, but even then he’d probably fuck it up somehow.
 
If Ralph dies, I'm actually blaming DarksydePhil for it. Ralph goes on his shitty wrestling show, less than a week later he wants to swan dive into concrete. Coincidence?
 
By my count Ethan Ralph has suicide baited 3 different times in the past 6 months or so. Wild.
 
Might sound heartless, but if Ralph is going to off himself, there's no time like the present. His poor unfortunate son is about at the age where he will start to remember the smelly grandpa who watches cartoons with him twice a year. When he dies of liver failure next year, his first spite baby will almost certainly remember it.
 
If he did kill himself there have been some signs.
1.) Giving away prized possessions. He was disheartened that faith wouldn't let Xander have his switch and PS5.

2.) Alienating yourself from friends and family. The blow up he had on Perspicacity during the FWF was over him calling out Ralphs drunkenness. Ralph later admitted he was in fact drunk, so destroying the friendship was the goal, and the reason didn't matter.

3.) Suicidal Ideation. This is a bit speculative but Ralph's go-to insult has always been "kill yourself". But since Rehab, it's been his only. The past 3 or so shows he would loop indefinitely about how his enemies needed to kill themselves.
 
If Ralph is threatening suicide, then that is the clearest sign that he is flat broke and he knows things won't improve.
 
Lidl Drip said:
Don't know many women whose husband left them and took the kids because she was violent and made him clean her piss bottles. Don't know many women who rape passed out drunk girls, get gonorrhea from sex trafficking victims, brag about being a gooner obsessed with anal sex... etc Ralph is every bad trait of moids amplified by 200. Whoremongering, violent, criminal, deadbeat, gambling addict, domestic abuser, filled with rage and anger, constantly challenging people to "fite me irl". Need I go on?

I get calling him a woman is "haha funny" because it pisses him off and women are le bad so a man being compared to a woman is like really insulting, but he really has absolutely nothing in common with a woman. Being a petty vengeful overdramatic retard and a coward are all traits very common in males. Especially in poophole obsessed males.

If Ralph was "like a woman" he would be taking care of two kids right now and working several jobs to feed them instead of visiting his son once a fortnight.
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Dunno, the gunt kinda looks like a giant. Fucked up vulva. Maybe you're just jealous.
 
Ralph's life is filled with shame and embarrassment, but the fact that he has suicide baited not once, but multiple times on Twitter of all places, is so goddamned embarrassing i can't even express it in words.
 
Lidl Drip said:
If Ralph was "like a woman" he would be taking care of two kids right now and working several jobs to feed them instead of visiting his son once a fortnight.
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Not to turn this further into a whole man vs woman thing, but you do know that deadbeat mothers are a thing as well right?
 
porkWellington said:
"Y'ALL GOT WORKED BIIIISH I AIN'T GONNA OFF MYSELF I WISH I COULD OFF MYSELF"
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That always wobbles over to, "Ah wuz actually GONNA kill muhself if ya wanna know the truth of it... and everyone was fuckin' mean to me buh now Ah'm gonna stay alive for muh son and because Ah fuckin' hate muh alawgs... buh totally wuz gonna do it that time..."
 
The other night I was listening to that PS call, and one thing stood out. He said he didn't pay a judgemental against him because they don't know his bank account. He then said he paid his child support using PayPal accounts. He said the method for getting the PayPal was "morbid" but then didn't explain fully.

Any chance he has accounts in his dead mother's name?
 
He lives!
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