🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

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How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 27 1.0%

  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 147 5.3%

  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 382 13.8%

  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 555 20.1%

  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 425 15.4%

  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 329 11.9%

  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 205 7.4%

  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 696 25.2%
  • Total voters
    2,766
At least Tess had mind enough to wear a bikini that covers her whole fupa instead of letting her family see glimpses of her gross thatch.
 
Gay Mouth said:
On another note I came across this listicle of throwback photos of Tess. Here are my two favorites.
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Where'd Tess's """natural texture""" go?

Dobbys Spare Sock said:
To avoid double posting
Are they family vacay-ing at the same place as the string bikini incident?

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She posted these? She looks fucking awful, more than usual. Her selfies usually have some semblance of "trying" to them, these just look like she put a cool filter/effect over the first pictures she took and was like "Yep, good enough."

Also the idea of her acting like she's a super hot, super skinny 20 year old not only around her dad's family(that she's apparently not very close to) but also her teenaged half brother is kinda gross to me and I feel bad for them.
 
Barbarella said:
Apparently they do more than teeth.

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Not an area reachable for Tess.
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First of all, why would any company use this picture as an example of their services? Plucked chicken is the perfect description for this.

Second, is leaving a trail of pubic hair above your bikini line the IN thing to do now, much like dyed underarm hair was a few years ago?
 
I looked at this pic and noticed the black grimey flecks all over it. And then her hand and nails.... has piggy been clawing in the dirt?

Wash your haram hooves!
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Gay Mouth said:
me taking notes while you reprobate assortment of fags and rich moms talk fashion 👀📝
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Kiwis are never who we’re made out to be by butthurt troons on Twitter. They seem to think we’re all basement dwelling incels which just sounds like projection to me.

Tess is way more likely to encounter a Kiwi somewhere quiet and expensive where she’s paying with credit and pretending to belong. Poor Bowie. His only social life as he grows up is going to be actually AT school because none of the other moms are ever going to invite him over for a playdate once they encounter Ryann Hoven at back to school night.
 
Watch Ryann respect her eldest son's privacy yet again by making the cover photo of her instagram family vacation album his photo. Bowie’s tiny head next to his mother's dangling, exposed teats makes me feel like I should be on a watch list.
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And guess what, guys? Despite Nick not having left America - nor their home - until December 2019, Ryann has decided that today is the two year anniversary of her kicking her OMG ABUSER out. She has decided to make the entire trip about how awful she was treated by her STILL HUSBAND, and parading about with her udders hanging free in front of her 15 year old son and 18 year old half brother. Screenshot_20210811-145953_Chrome.jpg Screenshot_20210811-150029_Chrome.jpg Screenshot_20210811-150046_Chrome.jpg

Her face is enormous. It now matches the rest of her.
 
multiverse said:
And guess what, guys? Despite Nick not having left America - nor their home - until December 2019, Ryann has decided that today is the two year anniversary of her kicking her OMG ABUSER out.
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Makes sense. Might as well have a fake date to go along with her fake story. Of course, it could be like her birthday where she celebrates a day for two weeks.
Internet's Boyfriend said:
Also the idea of her acting like she's a super hot, super skinny 20 year old not only around her dad's family(that she's apparently not very close to) but also her teenaged half brother is kinda gross to me and I feel bad for them.
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What possessed them to go on a trip to visit Tubby Tess in the first place? The only thing I can think of is that Ryann wanted to show off how fabulous her life is and offered to pay their way so they can report back to the sticks and hollers of Mississippi about how amazing it is out in sunny and cool California 😎

Contrast that with inviting Beth out last Thanksgiving where she cleaned up Tess’s apartment while Tess was pretending just how hard her life was. Utterly shameless.
 
Dobbys Spare Sock said:
I wondered how they listed 19 brands but didn't look to have that many items. The box on the left is Vanity Planet Aira ionic face steamer, and the brush thing on the right is Nion Opus body brush that exfoliates, vibrates, ionic whatevers. Going off the websites, they're priced at approx. $100 and $160 respectively. No wonder Tess went running off with more than she could carry and a bunch of shit she'll probably never use.

Edit: @Barbarella I've seen less bumps on a plucked chicken. Since it's Tess we're talking about, I'm going to pretend that's exactly what that is.

To avoid double posting
Are they family vacay-ing at the same place as the string bikini incident?

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Nothing sexier than wearing what appears to be a full diaper.
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Gay Mouth said:
me taking notes while you reprobate assortment of fags and rich moms talk fashion 👀📝
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My goal in life is to be a butch counterpart to women's fashion-loving gay men, except i can also offer tips about things men don't understand
Crepidodera fulvicornis said:
> August 11th 2 years ago <...> I didn't want to even be alive

August 12th 2019:
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Maybe I am more like a dude though, all I see is enormity in both 2019 and 2021 tess
 
Cheesegirl78 said:
Second, is leaving a trail of pubic hair above your bikini line the IN thing to do now, much like dyed underarm hair was a few years ago?
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It's an arrow that says "This way to the fuckzone".
blue gopher snakes said:
Tess is way more likely to encounter a Kiwi somewhere quiet and expensive where she’s paying with credit and pretending to belong.
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Remember the doughnut Ferris wheel from a few pages back? Imagine how back those other diners must have felt that night when Tess and her posse showed up.
I may be a retard when it comes to fashion, but I like food, and I've been very very lucky to eat in some fancy restaurants, and you know what? It was wonderful. No one gave me shit for not being dressed in fancy clothing. Everyone was super-nice and treated me like everyone else because I tried to look as nice as I could and I didn't eat like a disgusting cow.
That must have been terrible for the other diners, especially for the ones for whom this was a special event or a rare occurrence.
 
multiverse said:
Watch Ryann respect her eldest son's privacy yet again by making the cover photo of her instagram family vacation album his photo. Bowie’s tiny head next to his mother's dangling, exposed teats makes me feel like I should be on a watch list.
View attachment 2435915

And guess what, guys? Despite Nick not having left America - nor their home - until December 2019, Ryann has decided that today is the two year anniversary of her kicking her OMG ABUSER out. She has decided to make the entire trip about how awful she was treated by her STILL HUSBAND, and parading about with her udders hanging free in front of her 15 year old son and 18 year old half brother.View attachment 2435925View attachment 2435926View attachment 2435927

Her face is enormous. It now matches the rest of her.
Click to expand...
"Two years ago today,MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME, oh, and Bowie lost his first tooth."

Put your fucking udders away, Tess. The whole world knows what they look like, you don't have to keep reminding us.

Something about the way she always has her tits out pisses me off. Have some common sense around your sons, you oaf.
 
I wonder if Tess is acting out a bit because whatever she was with Olly, she's been replaced, so her drama has dialled up a notch. One month ago it was Tess' birthday, yesterday was Ollys new squeeze BDay. It's almost word for word when you read them. Tess is in the comments too, so she knows whatever ego boost she was getting is going to be significantly reduced, or gone. Olly is living in NY now, not coming back to LA, and Tess has been abandoned yet again.

PS - where's that shoot that was “so iconic” and amazing that she needed a spray tan and cornrows? Is it too soon, or has it been forgotten? How has she not at least mentioned something?


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Dobbys Spare Sock said:
I wonder if Tess is acting out a bit because whatever she was with Olly, she's been replaced, so her drama has dialled up a notch. One month ago it was Tess' birthday, yesterday was Ollys new squeeze BDay. It's almost word for word when you read them. Tess is in the comments too, so she knows whatever ego boost she was getting is going to be significantly reduced, or gone. Olly is living in NY now, not coming back to LA, and Tess has been abandoned yet again.

PS - where's that shoot that was “so iconic” and amazing that she needed a spray tan and cornrows? Is it too soon, or has it been forgotten? How has she not at least mentioned something?


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Which one is which?
 
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