🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
Hi I Am From Page 6 said:
So I got inspired and decided to try my hand at writing.
This is about 13 minute's worth of free writing.

It was another fine morning on the Farms. CatParty was shitposting,
Dynastia was making people cry, and Null, gutless motherfucker that he is, was refusing
to nuke anyone.
"How shall I oppress the snowflakegendered people today?" he pondered as he swigged his
flagon of Coke Zero.
Suddenly, Dynastia came running in!
"Null! Null! Terrible news! And it's not about Abbos this time!!"
Null rolled his eyes. Why did he have to deal with these idiots? All he wanted to
do was run a website, not babysit a userbase of autistic spergs.
"Dynastia, I already know that KatsuKitty is a girly crossdressing fag tranny. Stop telling me.
And no, I will not fucky him no matter how funny you'd find it."
"No, it isn't about that this time, although my offer of $35 to you if you fucky him,
videotape it and post it on the forums still stands. It's about Connor."
"Haven't I told you that I don't care about Connor's chimpouts?"
"But this is serious. I mean it this time."
Null slowly reached for the button that would set off his nuclear warhead, the one labelled
"Fucky You Dynastia". Would he have the courage to use it this time? Thoughts of a world
without his Number 1 Australian Shitposter filled his head; a world where there would
be only LikeICare and CatParty to upset everyone. Could he do this?
An idea occurred to him. Checking his instinct for zero-calorie, caffeine-fueled murderous
rage, he spoke in a low, measured voice.
"You do realise that I already know about Connor's crotch fungus?"
"Yeah mate, of course. Even the Pope knows that."
Null laughed.
"No, I mean he really knows. I told him yesterday.
"So anyway. Connor has done something noone ever thought he'd do. He has written for
not 30-"
"Seconds!!"
"Sit down, Null. You need to be seated to hear this.
"Not seconds. Minutes.Not 30 minutes, not 39 minutes, but A FULL 40 MINUTES."
Null collapsed. As he lay insensible, Dynastia wondered if he'd done the right thing.
Who would run the shitlord community now? Could he handle such a responsibility? To carry
the burden of leading a bunch of autistic spergs against Tumblrites and Gamergaters-
truly, could any man be up to such a task?
"Oh, well, who cares?" he shrugged as he stole a few bottles of Coke Zero and walked
out the door.

~ Fin
Click to expand...

A++, worth it solely for vision of a world with Dynastia as Starscream to Null's Megatron.
 
Rin said:
What topics have you been writing about?
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An astronaut going insane after coming back to Earth, a biomechanical mound of flesh, an unnaturally nice neighborhood, a haunted toilet, a possessive typewriter, a man shifting into alternate realities, a deranged barber, a little brat torturing miniature beings, a family heirloom with a dark history, and a teenage mother who is driven up the wall by her mutant baby.
 
Connor Bible said:
An astronaut going insane after coming back to Earth
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Rambo: First Blood in Space. Okay
Connor Bible said:
, a biomechanical mound of flesh, an unnaturally nice neighborhood, a haunted toilet, a possessive typewriter, a man shifting into alternate realities, a deranged barber, a little brat torturing miniature beings, a family heirloom with a dark history, and a teenage mother who is driven up the wall by her mutant baby.
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Hey Connor

You know how it takes you like a billion years to write 10 pages in your novel.

How about you just take one of those ideas, and flesh it out into a story. Then worry about some of those ideas later.
Kataomoi00 said:
deadline
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b13e593a-1ddc-4e99-a8e3-ea0af383984c_Seven2.gif
 
I have a story about a guy who tries to live up to the expectations he promises to internet strangers, only to dig himself deeper into his own misery with every interaction.

@Connor Bible feel like writing an autobiography? That will be vastly more interesting that any fiction you will ever come up with. Stranger than fiction.
 
I don't really have a set deadline for the short stories, but what I try to do is write for a few hours until I "overheat"; you start writing cold, and gradually the pot starts to boil. You reach a heightened state of mental activity, critical mass. You turn the stove off.
 
Chan the Wizard said:
1-1 odds of there being 10 empty word documents in a folder titled "short stories."
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Think text files

Connor's too lazy for formatting
Connor Bible said:
I don't really have a set deadline for the short stories, but what I try to do is write for a few hours until I "overheat"; you start writing cold, and gradually the pot starts to boil. You reach a heightened state of mental activity, critical mass. You turn the stove off.
Click to expand...
This is called "burn out"

If you burn out that quickly the logical thing to do is not write for several hours in one day. Instead you should write in small bursts every single day.

I mentioned earlier other writers do things like they write 10 pages in a single day.
 
Connor Bible said:
I don't really have a set deadline for the short stories, but what I try to do is write for a few hours until I "overheat"; you start writing cold, and gradually the pot starts to boil. You reach a heightened state of mental activity, critical mass. You turn the stove off.
Click to expand...
How about taking scheduled breaks instead of actively working against yourself? You write more lines of text on this website than for any of your stories. Christ, no wonder you get nothing done ever. That explains a lot.
 
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