🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[bloomingcactus]

Wow, this is really obvious. Too many high ponytails. Plus her hair must be very heavy and even in a messy bun it would put pressure on the strands.


Wonder if they styled it with the center part to make it look less obvious to the casual observer? It just can't be unseen.


P.S. what's up with this face? You could check your reflection in that crisco shine.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

P.S. what's up with this face? You could check your reflection in that crisco shine.

She's just giving me stoned dog vibes

 

[Precocious Halfwit]

I remember back in the early 2010’s when HAES were “pushing for size inclusivity” by demanding Target, Walmart and other bargain bin fast fashion go up to a size 16. Ten years later we have heffalumps boycotting brands that don’t go up to a 26+. What a world.

On another note I came across this listicle of throwback photos of Tess. Here are my two favorites.
View attachment 2422170View attachment 2422171

Edit to avoid a double post:
Tess got her hair dyed and cut. Her widow’s peak is destroyed, peep the scalp triangle
View attachment 2422237View attachment 2422238View attachment 2422239View attachment 2422240

It always makes me a bit sad to see lolcows' baby pics and how such cute and innocent infants became such abject cunts (apart from Russell Greer, who was possibly even scarier as a child).

As for that skin - when the Fatletics money dries up, I wonder if she'd consider going into modelling makeup for rosacea sufferers? She may well just have shit skin rather than actual rosacea, but she could make a killing from shilling anything that could camouflage that hellscape. Not to mention that oily glare on her forehead, which could trigger aura migraine in anyone who looks directly at it.

 

[Water-T]

when the Fatletics money dries up

I don't even think they were paying her anything aside from giving her free clothes. Tess is just doing it for the opportunity to look like she's still an in-demand supamoddle.

 

[cactus]

I can't help but think the hair person shaved off her widows peak and shaved it too far back.

 

[lamp shade]

I can't help but think the hair person shaved off her widows peak and shaved it too far back.

Unfortunately for Tess, this is an actual type of hairline called a reverse or inverted widows peak. It will probably get worse as she ages.

 

[Haesindang Park]

Wow, this is really obvious. Too many high ponytails. Plus her hair must be very heavy and even in a messy bun it would put pressure on the strands.
View attachment 2425009

Wonder if they styled it with the center part to make it look less obvious to the casual observer? It just can't be unseen.
View attachment 2425011

P.S. what's up with this face? You could check your reflection in that crisco shine.

Bottom pic shows she looks like a Chinese fat ginger made from wax.

 

[Snack Cracker]

Unfortunately for Tess, this is an actual type of hairline called a reverse or inverted widows peak. It will probably get worse as she ages.

Wow that’s incredibly unfortunate, I thought it was traction alopecia from all of her high suppamodel ponytails but if that’s her natural hairline it’s going to age SO badly.

Learn to love that center part Tess until it becomes a valley and has to have a deeep side part/bang to cover it.

 

[Gay Mouth]

Family Vacationnn! Incoming Riley-boundary stomping!


First vacation in so long? Wasn’t she in Palm Springs two weeks ago?
Wish I could be there when her stepmom meets the beheem.


Same with baby brother.

beaming with joy she can commoditize her children and new relationship with father.

That moment when you feel shame for being such a circus freak whore in front of your family.

Aren’t family friendly ever*

Like the one on your chest?

blackheads, hyperpigmentation and stubble

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

How much money do I have to pay to not see her close-ups?

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

As always when Tess takes her frequent vacations: a vacation from what?

 

[NoReturn]

I can't help but think the hair person shaved off her widows peak and shaved it too far back.

Why would anyone ever intentionally do such a thing?!

Family Vacationnn! Incoming Riley-boundary stomping!

View attachment 2428799
First vacation in so long? Wasn’t she in Palm Springs two weeks ago?View attachment 2428801
Wish I could be there when her stepmom meets the beheem.

View attachment 2428802
Same with baby brother.
View attachment 2428803
beaming with joy she can commoditize her children and new relationship with father.
View attachment 2428804
That moment when you feel shame for being such a circus freak whore in front of your family.
View attachment 2428805
Aren’t family friendly ever*
View attachment 2428807
Like the one on your chest?
View attachment 2428808
blackheads, hyperpigmentation and stubble

We joke, but I've been sick and that last image is actually is kind of nauseating.

 

[Local Fed]

I'm not trying to be snarky with this question (edit: just noticed NeoGAF asked the same thing,) but what exactly is she taking a vacation from? I mostly just come here to go "lol fat" and make the occasional lazy edit in MS Paint, but from what I can gather all she's really done in the last few months is spend like a week taking selfies from beside her mother's hospital bed, getting a jeep whose suspension she's abusing, "social activism" on Instagram, and stuffing herself full of HFCS with her equally dysgenic looking hired black friends. Is Bowie still on track to not be potty trained by the 2024 presidential election?

 

[Water-T]

Only white trash like Tess looks forward to putting her ass and plumber's crack chest on full display in front of her family.

That skincare company that paid to make that ad a few weeks ago totally spent their money well!

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I'm not trying to be snarky with this question (edit: just noticed NeoGAF asked the same thing,) but what exactly is she taking a vacation from? I mostly just come here to go "lol fat" and make the occasional lazy edit in MS Paint, but from what I can gather all she's really done in the last few months is spend like a week taking selfies from beside her mother's hospital bed, getting a jeep whose suspension she's abusing, "social activism" on Instagram, and stuffing herself full of HFCS with her equally dysgenic looking hired black friends. Is Bowie still on track to not be potty trained by the 2024 presidential election?

The Tubbster wants to give off the impression that she’s still a highly in demand supermodel. Those two parties she attended, the quinceañera she waddled into, that one time she went to hot pilates (I see Sora no longer associates with Ryann), the Flabletics gear she modeled, all those wake and bakes while massacring tubs of Jeni’s ice cream in her wake, and the harrowing instances of dealing with her haydurs about the Bloomchic party…it all adds up. Not to mention her overusing the emoji. It’s the busiest she’s been in over a year, mostly thanks to her friend Nadia, I’m surprised she hasn’t taken another “vacay” sooner than this.

 

[Oscar Winner]

That skincare company that paid to make that ad a few weeks ago totally spent their money well!

Which one? Do you mean Glow Recipe?

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

 

[multiverse]

Oh gross she's posting about her 18 [edited for my dumb] year old half brother for likes, probably because he looks just like Rylee except Rylee told his mother to fuck off.

Tess's lovebombing stage for her dad and his new wife can't last too much longer. She's desperate for someone to suck her ass for being a famoos moddle, and her mom, full brother, and oldest son have had her number for a long while now. So now she's digging deep into her keeper's credit card limits to try to impress her father and his family.

It'll all end in tears. And all the YLS perfume in world can't cover the stench of despair.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Ryann didn't get the memo, that actually famous people do not infact post their entire lives and their inmediate families lives on Instagram.

How long till dad-returned becomes toxic and abusive in her stories?

 

[Easy Peasy]

I like the shell pillows on the bed, so... cute! I guess.