He Man Reboot Announced

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account
He literally could have just done Battleground Teela's story and it would have gone over better
bgteelacomic.jpeg
bgteela.jpg

Seriously there's so much lore he could have covered by doing individual episodes about the lesser known characters or events in MOTU. Especially since there's alternate versions of characters established like Savage He-Man/Oo-larr.
 
Last edited:
Morethanabitfoolish said:
A kind soul linked the video earlier.


No, this is not being selectively edited or taken out of context.
Click to expand...
Oh gods. They went there!

But, have you seen the body on the guy? He's the buffest motherfucker there is and he literally has magic powers and owns a mountain carved into the shape of a serpent. You telling me this guy can't get some buxom Goth chick? Bullshit! He has a fucking THRONE! That's like better than a Corvette.
 
Overly Serious said:
Oh gods. They went there!

But, have you seen the body on the guy? He's the buffest motherfucker there is and he literally has magic powers and owns a mountain carved into the shape of a serpent. You telling me this guy can't get some buxom Goth chick? Bullshit! He has a fucking THRONE! That's like better than a Corvette.
Click to expand...
Yes but by lore Skeletor used to be Keldor who was a blue elf.

All elves by default are gay weak girly men.

Being the buffest elf is like being the tallest midget.
 
Godzilla@1989 said:
Wow Kevin Smith, that shitty 1987 adaptation with Courtney Cox (fun fact: the sorceress in that movie was Courtney Cox’s mom on Friends) is now Lawrence of Arabia thanks to you.

Man, I would love to see a revival of the 2002 remake instead of this shitshow. That shouldn’t have ended too soon.
Click to expand...
Shitty? really?
 
Marissa Moira said:
Yes but by lore Skeletor used to be Keldor who was a blue elf.

All elves by default are gay weak girly men.

Being the buffest elf is like being the tallest midget.
Click to expand...

In which, case being transformed into his current form should improve his chances.

Nah, no way Skeletor can't get some. I mean, his symbol is a ram's horns on that staff of his. His whole motif screams sex machine. Plus there's that whole hybristophillia thing a tonne of women have going on. I bet dude has like a dungeon full of women. And he didn't put them there. It's like everytime he opens his cellar there's another semi-naked girl caught in the act of strapping herself to his rack.
 
I watched the first ten minutes. I did like how Ser Davos Seaworth managed to find gainful employment after Stannis died.
 
Overly Serious said:
Oh gods. They went there!

But, have you seen the body on the guy? He's the buffest motherfucker there is and he literally has magic powers and owns a mountain carved into the shape of a serpent. You telling me this guy can't get some buxom Goth chick? Bullshit! He has a fucking THRONE! That's like better than a Corvette.
Click to expand...
Yep.

I'm kind of with you. In a setting with bug-people, beast-people, mer-people, sentient forests and substantially more the idea that Skeletor can't get laid is laughable.

They could have done anything with that line and instead they went for option "now let's make the audience have to pause the episode because they creased up laughing."

Oh for those who missed it because the show sure as balls was not clear on it Adam is not dead at the end. So as well as her other failings Teela now goes to pieces when a comrade is near fatally injured and makes no effort to perform life saving medical aid. Thank goodness the show told us at the start what a competent person she is because her actions sure as fuck don't show it.

Helpfully confirmed by Smith in the article here.


There's also quite a bit of just inconsistent plot which in a 5 episode run is impressive. Couple of things that I refuse to rewatch to check, I think both might be sloppy writing. Andra claims her "grandfather" told her stories about Snake Mountain. Normally a relative two generations back telling tales is an indication that the location has been out of focus for a while but it's clearly not been that long in setting. Similarly in the first episode Teela refers to herself as an orphan but later I'd swear she calls Man At Arms her father. Sloppy writing or a change in plot part way through that led to rewrites where stuff was missed?
 
Morethanabitfoolish said:
Similarly in the first episode Teela refers to herself as an orphan but later I'd swear she calls Man At Arms her father. Sloppy writing or a change in plot part way through that led to rewrites where stuff was missed?
Click to expand...
Did she definitely use the word father or might she have said "daddy"?

I mean, at this point, I don't think I'd put anything past the writers.
 
How can you fuck up a show like He-Man?

melcarba99 said:
Its like they want to wage war with their customers. People wanted a He-man show, why not give them that? You can insert you strong female characters, just have He-man as the protagonist and nobody would be complaing. I mean, its a reboot of a children cartoon from the 80s, no need to be "subversive", and its no longer subersive because everyone is doing it. I think eventually characters in the action adventure genres will be amorphous blobs of muscle with some caracters having long hair.
Click to expand...
We've reached a point where the most subversice thing a movie or show can do is to be decent and respectful towards its core audience.

Jormungand said:
This is precisely why nobody likes this version of Teela.
She makes everything about herself and even blames everyone, even the dead, for not trusting her with vital information.

It's just as bad as Amber blaming Mark for not telling her that he was Invincible.
Amber Dumps Mark.mp4\

These are the modern female heroes of this generation.
Vindictive, bitter, cunts.
Click to expand...
Wow.
Everything about that scene makes my piss boil and makes me want to strangle whoever wrote that crap. And I don't even know or care where it's from.

Edit:
Watched He-Man's death on youtube. Fuck me, this is a comedy gold mine.

Skeletor shanks a bitch and a half minute later, that white haired chick goes "Skeletor?", like she just found him sitting in their kitchen at 3AM sipping brine or something.
Does she need someone to explain to her that people die when they get killed or something?
Also awefully nice of Skeletor to not just crack Troona over the head with Adam's sword or blow up some fags with his magical powers after getting this suckerpunch into He-Man's back.

Also, the incel-line comes right after Skeletor told that white-haired chick to take her place by his side. What, doesn't she put out for the guy if she's will to murder for him?

Oh god, the further I look, the worse it gets. Troona sounds like Lois from Family Guy, what the fuck is even wrong with whoever allowed this to be made and broadcast?
It's fucking He-Man, how can you make a CURRENT YEAR version that's this fucking atrocious? Even the goofy, shallow 80s version would hold up better today than this crap will in a year and a half.
 
Last edited:
Jaimas said:
Because for these assclowns, being a member of the chosen class (LGBTABCDEFG, etc) and having the right politics trumps all other categories. They care about literally nothing else.

It's why they headcanon'd Pennywise (from It) and the Babadook as gay icons, stanned for them for being from "their side," and then were shocked, shocked I tells ya, when the psychotic killer clown wasn't the ally they thought he was.

They will stick with their own tribe and consider it incapable of doing wrong until the nanosecond it goes against the doctrine, and only then will they excommunicate it while claiming they had no way of knowing it was the case. Nothing else matters. A movie is good if it upholds their values, and bad if it doesn't. A character is good if it pushes their politics and bad if it doesn't. Logic needs never apply.
Click to expand...
I still never understood that.. why do you want demonic monsters as part of your group? I thought it was funny when they complained how Pennywise murdered the one gay guy. You mean the clown that eats fucking children doesn't care if your gay or straight will brutally murder you? No really
Admiral Mantoid said:

This from the guy whose only claim to relevance these days is crying over new capeshit movies and shilling plastic paperweights.
View attachment 2377498
Click to expand...
I need to grow up? Last I check I didn't crie after The Last Jedi and Captain Marvel. Also Kevin you still dress like your in the fucking 1990s .
Godzilla@1989 said:
Wow Kevin Smith, that shitty 1987 adaptation with Courtney Cox (fun fact: the sorceress in that movie was Courtney Cox’s mom on Friends) is now Lawrence of Arabia thanks to you.

Man, I would love to see a revival of the 2002 remake instead of this shitshow. That shouldn’t have ended too soon.
Click to expand...
I actually like the He-Man movie I would take it over any current movie that's for sure. Tela was great character in the movie. Seriously I can name a tons of female characters I thought were badass form the 1980s, 1990s and the early 2000s that I still love to this day. I can't name any today. Except maybe Peggy Carter. But still that's only one.
 
Godzilla@1989 said:
Wow Kevin Smith, that shitty 1987 adaptation with Courtney Cox (fun fact: the sorceress in that movie was Courtney Cox’s mom on Friends) is now Lawrence of Arabia thanks to you.

Man, I would love to see a revival of the 2002 remake instead of this shitshow. That shouldn’t have ended too soon.
Click to expand...
Did watching the Kevin Smith He-Man lobotomize you or something? Masters of the Universe was always awesome.
 
Overly Serious said:
Did she definitely use the word father or might she have said "daddy"?

I mean, at this point, I don't think I'd put anything past the writers.
Click to expand...
As someone already said she did say dad, I think she says father at one point too. It just seems like at some points they're also trying to have him not as her father, or not known to be, given the orphan remark.

It's odd and inconsistent. And I'd normally try to be above nit picking but for a show the critics are giving ratings in the 90s the script forgetting whether or not the characters are related is some sloppy ass writing that can't really be glossed over.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom