🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[multiverse]

Tess is so enormously fat that, despite being 5'2", she's nearly hitting the roof of her jeep - and she takes up fully half the vehicle's width, possibly more. She's gorging on Olive Garden despite living in a land of incredible culinary offerings for reasonable prices by small businesses everywhere you turn around. She videos herself with her fat chest sacks hanging out to her belly button. Her face is so fat it's bursting out of her mask. Why is she single, y'all?

Eugh uch yuk.

 

[Captain Syrup]

She's gorging on Olive Garden despite living in a land of incredible culinary offerings

Isn't Olive Garden treated as some sort of horror story in Italy? And why is she flipping off the plate? Ayyy lmao

Why is she single, y'all?

Cluster B personality disorders?

Holding out for a rich man, like Anna Nicole Smith?

I doubt her size has much to do with it, being that it's 2021. Especially with her public profile. Go make an account on Feabie, it takes thirty seconds.

 

[YMB]

I thought this fat ho was supposed to be anorexic. What's she doing eating 10lbs of lasagna in one sitting?

 

[Water-T]

WHY AM I SINGLE Y''LL?

I'm sure that butt on your chest knows why

GOLLY GOSH! Tess' anorexia is cured! IT'S A MIRACLE!

Giving the finger to a plate of food. SO EDGY.

HOLY SHIT HER HAND IS PORKY AS FUCK

 

[Internet's Boyfriend]

View attachment 2374700

I know she always acts like an edgy 20 year old but god it annoys me to no end every time, like grow the fuck up bitch. This shit wouldn't be cute past the age of 25 even on super attractive women, why on earth would you think it would work for you?

I feel bad for everyone else in that Olive Garden.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

TFW you post your mom and son without consent. Her mom hasn’t visited the beach in 20 years because of her body image and Ryann decides to post a photo of her body in a bathing suit to her 2 million and some followers for asspats.
She had to write a sweet conclusion to her sob story so she could start posting her going out again. Looking like even more of a mouth breather than usual.
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The fish scale dress really goes well with the trout face

 

[Umaibae]

I can’t even tell you where an Olive Garden is in LA. Bitch really goes out of her way to eat shit tier food.

 

[Water-T]

I can’t even tell you where an Olive Garden is in LA. Bitch really goes out of her way to eat shit tier food.

There can be three explanations.

1. Bowie is with her. Kids his age can be super picky, and will refuse to eat or will even make a scene if their "usual" foods are not availible. Knowning what a great MAWM Tess is, she probably has Bowie acclimated to a constant "diet" of shit frozen foods she can toss in the microwave so as to not infringe on her valuable selfie and cake eating time.

2. Tess' cash is running low, and instead of eating at Spago like a SUPPAMODDLE, she's now got to "downgrade" to Olive Garden.

3. Tess' delusions of being a top tier model have her thinking that if she goes to a fancy place, the paparazzi are surely going to be lying in wait to snap her photos just like they did at hot pilates! NO YOU VULTURES STAY BACK! I KNOW YOU WANT MORE PHOTOS OF MY SEXY BODY BUT I AM JUST HERE TO HAVE DINNER WITH MY SON! TAKE MORE OF MY RIGHT PROFILE AND THEN GO AWAY!

 

[Smiling Honeybadger]

I can’t even tell you where an Olive Garden is in LA. Bitch really goes out of her way to eat shit tier food.

I just spent a minute on Google looking for small business restaurants in L.A.. And I found this enlightening list.

Black-Owned LA Restaurants You Can Support Today - Los Angeles - The Infatuation

LA Black-Owned Restaurants You Can Support Today

www.theinfatuation.com

Why did supah model and performative activist Tess fail all these awesome black owned businesses, to throw her money into the endless capitalist pit of large chains and franchises?!

Maybe she needed to follow her true Italian roots and enjoy the super authentic Italian cuisine that only "Olive Garden" can offer. She needs to tell this the next Italian she sees, and watch them combust in flames out of sheer happiness.

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

Damn, I have been waiting for the GOOD made in USA Moxie skates to get back in stock. Not anymore.

(Doesn’t matter. Only place I can use them is a roller rink. Skateboarding and skating is seen as a “nuisance” here.)

Spoiler

You mean Lollies? The cunts who buy one in every color because Muh Aesthetic Uwu are so autistic about these that it's nigh impossible to find them without tracking the moxi hunters plebbit, or becoming as autistic as them and refreshing 20 skate shop sites every hour. There was a recent Barbie collab and despite the skates being ugly as sin and overpriced as fuck, they sold out immediately because Omg Barbie. I don't even think Shove is wearing Moxis in that photo, those look like blue Suregrip Fames to me.

2. Tess' cash is running low, and instead of eating at Spago like a SUPPAMODDLE, she's now got to "downgrade" to Olive Garden.

I'm guessing this. They have the massively American menu option of a separate to-go entree for five bucks, so you can heat it up tomorrow and have Olive Garden lunch without having to drag your lardass self back to the restaurant. Of course, in Tess's case, it's not lunch tomorrow - it's a snack three hours after getting back home.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Tubby Tess definitely takes advantage of the unlimited breadsticks at Olive Garden. That is likely the reason she goes there in the first place.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Tubby Tess definitely takes advantage of the unlimited breadsticks at Olive Garden. That is likely the reason she goes there in the first place.

That and the fucking enormous portions and thousands of calories per entree.

I love that she talks about how shite Olive Garden is while choosing to eat there. Congrats Tess, you dissed your own taste.

100% she can only afford Olive Garden now and needs to reassure herself that she’s too good for it, even while eating there.

 

[Oscar Winner]

Bit of a Tess dump, but spoilers and collages to not shit up the thread too much

Spoiler: SM manager what?

Wtf is olly on about with comments like this?

I had to dig, but found some golden insult nuggets

Tess is excited that she was in the NYT crossword. The only way she could ever occupy a small space

Spoiler: Insta stories

Tess has found another frock to fat around town in

Puts up some mega filtered photos, so I did a side by side for shits and giggles

Takes more selfies, and lets a couple of friends squeeze in

Is so “dewy” she glows in the dark.

I'd never bothered looking at her linktree. I found from there, you can book a shout out with Tess for the meager sum of $75. Am I the only one to not know this? The couple I saw were about a minute long. Bargain. Took a SS of one of them just for the beetus hands.



Edit: my apologies to the mods. I fucked up the thumbnails somehow.

Edit 2: check out this video, she's getting paid and she's still a narc bitch. At least try to be sincere.. https://www.cameo.com/v/5fd520bdb49cc2001df1ef63

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Is she getting bald?

 

[Easy Peasy]

Say something nice-ish: that white dress is cute and covers her ham hocks kind of.

Olive garden toscana soup is delicious. Fuck you tess

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Say something nice-ish: that white dress is cute and covers her ham hocks kind of.

Olive garden toscana soup is delicious. Fuck you tess

It looks terrible on her though. Shit is fucking see-through.

 

[Oscar Winner]

It's definitely one of the better things she's worn in a while, seeing that tattoo through it kinda ruins it. At least it's not sheer like quite a few others recently.

 

[NoReturn]

Kids his age can be super picky, and will refuse to eat or will even make a scene if their "usual" foods are not availible.

Can be but aren't always. The key is to introduce them to a lot of different foods one at a time at home.

Knowning what a great MAWM Tess is, she probably has Bowie acclimated to a constant "diet" of shit frozen foods she can toss in the microwave so as to not infringe on her valuable selfie and cake eating time.

Aaaaand this is why we all know Tess hasn't done the above for either of her boys. Proper care and feeding takes effort, and that cuts into cake-time.

2. Tess' cash is running low, and instead of eating at Spago like a SUPPAMODDLE, she's now got to "downgrade" to Olive Garden.

I had to look this place up, and if she wasn't constantly ordering in and eating out she could probably afford a nice trip there as a treat. The place is expensive, sure. Very expensive. (Also weird this guy also sells his soup at Walmart. Kind of lowers the prestige a bit.) However, you could still get an entree, dessert, and a fancy drink for less than $100 all together. Looking at what she's ordered here, that's just two Tess-trips to Olive Garden!

---

Also, Tess is back on TikTok. No mention of the mom situation, but yes mention of the Olive Garden trip.

tessholliday
tessholliday · 21h ago
How are you showing yourself love today? #ClearGenius #XfinityFanthem #LeadWithLove #fyp
original sound - tessholliday

"Self-love is being a lazy piece of shit." - Ryann Hoven, 2021

 

[multiverse]

I decided to take a closer look at one of Tess's videos where she oogles herself in the mirror. Forgive the giant video, but look at her back leg. It's twitching and shaking so hard from the effort of her balancing with her legs akimbo one in front of the other that her entire torso begins to shake and sway. The shaking is not being done on purpose - she's trying to shift her hips back and forth, not do her "ode to Anna Nicole" tit shake.

She looks like she's about to collapse from the effort it takes her to balance with one leg in front of the other. So every time she's doing that stupid pose, she nearly collapses from the effort. Of standing in place.

 

[Umaibae]

Holy shit, she’s going to topple over.

Supamoddles wobble, and they will fall down.