Opinion I Was Planning To Dump My Boyfriend, And Then His Best Friend Died — WTF Should I Do?

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I Was Planning To Dump My Boyfriend, And Then His Best Friend Died — WTF Should I Do?​

"I was going to end it...but then his BFF died."​

Posted 2 hours ago
A screenshot of an Instagram DM

Instagram: @stephenlc
So, let's talk about the how and the when here. Based on everything you've described, I think it makes sense to give your boyfriend a bit of time to process this unexpected loss before broaching the topic of a split. A few more weeks or months would be a relatively short period of time in the grand scheme of your years-long relationship, and would go a long way in helping you end things as gracefully as possible with a partner who has stood by your side in your own dark times.

But let's assume, based on your DM, that hanging on a bit longer would be a safe and relatively comfortable option for you. If so, I think that's a solid path to take. Use that time to prepare yourself for the changes ahead, and to help your partner through his grief however you can. Be wary of becoming his only support in that time, though — this will be a delicate balancing act of being there for him, while also gently guiding him to the family and friends who can be beside him for the long haul. Help him build a support system of which you are one part, but not the whole. That support system should ideally include a therapist, too.​

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Luis Alvarez / Getty Images


That's all the advice I'm giving today, folks, but if you've got any words of wisdom for our DMer, share them in the comments. I'll be reading...​



Want more advice and updates on previous DMers? Follow me on Instagramand Twitter (@StephenLC in both places). And if you want to submit a question to be featured in the column, DM me! Just be sure to read the rules below first.​

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Check out the full archive of advice columns at Hey Stephen.​

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I Was About To Dump My Boyfriend, And Then His Best Friend Died — Tell Me What To Do

"I was going to end it...but then his BFF died."
www.buzzfeed.com www.buzzfeed.com
 
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murder him, claim he commit suicide over his friend dying (make sure you're a registered democrat first, helps to donate to the clintons too)
 
If the person giving you advice is a Buzzfeed journo, the best course of action is very likely the exact opposite of whatever they tell you to do.
 
Chan the Wizard said:

Want more advice and updates on previous DMers? Follow me on Instagramand Twitter (@StephenLC in both places). And if you want to submit a question to be featured in the column, DM me! Just be sure to read the rules below first.​

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I think your boyfriend might know your plan now sniveling faggot.

Edit: oh wait he's a dear abby type shit... lol who is going to take relationship advice from a fuckin dude.
 
If you're unhappy in your relationship, sit your partner down for some real talk instead of texting bloggers. If you can't do that, how can you expect to stay together for any length of time?
 
The gall of a teacher complaining about their lot in life during COVID. Full pay, stay at home, and even after they finally made you go back to work you probably still got to do a ton of it remotely. Meanwhile this guy managed a (successful) small business during what I'm sure were painful shutdowns forced on him by the government.
 
I don't get it. You don't care about the guy enough to stay with him, but suddenly you feel guilty for wanting to leave him? Dude's dodging a bullet for sure. Yes, he'll be hurt by your departure, but you're doing him a real favor. His family will hate you, yes, but they'll support him. Begone and let the family take care of its own.
 
moocow said:
I don't get it. You don't care about the guy enough to stay with him, but suddenly you feel guilty for wanting to leave him? Dude's dodging a bullet for sure. Yes, he'll be hurt by your departure, but you're doing him a real favor. His family will hate you, yes, but they'll support him. Begone and let the family take care of its own.
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The most explicit explanation she could give is that the relationship "doesn't seem right", which I'm betting translates to... nothing, actually. She's more than likely a capricious asshole who hasn't realized that you need to be able to actively and rationally justify your relationships instead of basing their worth purely on whether you feel "happy".

Ah, well, it's not like they were married, and the plea for advice isn't focused on the reasons for her desire to separate in the first place.
kcbbq said:
He carried you though your financial issues and now that's over you want to dump him?

Now, I ain't saying she's a gold digger...
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Ah, yeah, I guess that is implicit in them living together-- though, he may make less than her.

Bloody hell, why would you financially tie yourself to someone you're not married to before you even hit the two year mark, let alone get married?
 
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