🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[FuckDuckSeagull]

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WOW WHAT A SUPERMODEL!! With a built-in shelf, too!

Omg. This needs to be in the OP.

 

[DelicateMageflower]

My theory is she won't cut Bowie's hair because then his dead ringer resemblance to Nick will really come out and we know Tess cant have that.

 

[Casta Spersions]

My theory is she won't cut Bowie's hair because then his dead ringer resemblance to Nick will really come out and we know Tess cant have that.

With the added bonus of strangers thinking he's a girl so she can say "actually HE can have long hair and be a boy" in a condescending way.

 

[Tesshollidaysflupaknees]

What does being “queer” have to do with being a single parent? Imagine praising yourself for being a single parent when one of your kids doesn’t even live with you

Real "queer" parents don't feel the need to tell everyone that they are "queer." Being "queer" has nothing to do with loving your child and supporting them. Of course, Tess had to make it all about herself. Look at me guys! A poor single queer mom just trying her best. Feel bad for me and tell me how brave I am.

Tess is really starting to lose her looks. Tess looks like she is in her late 40's.

 

[ggalin]

i can understand kids having choices with their hair. i could understand liking your children with long hair, but at least trim it. trim it to a size where he won’t be poked fun at in school and look like an obviously neglected child.

 

[Black Death]

First, allow me to issue my own "Late" ratings, for late I surely am:

That Reddit kindergarten thread made me sad, but not for the teacher. The teacher should know the phrase is not kit gloves, but kid gloves.

Spoiler: Long spergy educational PowerLeveling

Long ago and far away, when I was even more retartet than I am now, I earned a degree in Elementary Education. I was a double major so I spent some time away from the sandbox that is Elementary Education and I was appalled that NO ONE ELSE in my graduating class of Future Educators (barf) could write a coherent sentence, spell common words, or perform basic mathematics. Most of them flunked the state testing that was required before they could be turned loose on actual children. (Your results state not just your percentages, but those of other test-takers in the state [anonymously, of course], so you may compare yourself to the rest of your "peers.") I was so disgusted by the abject idiocy of these Future Educators (barf) that I left the field entirely and have never looked back. It is a shit show. Elementary teachers by and large are pathetic in their ignorance and have no business teaching. There's the occasional one who has their shit together (I would have been such a one, had I stayed on track to become a Future Educator [barf]), but they sure are rare.

Guess she’s done “embracing her natural hair texture.” Larping as a black woman didn’t really get her the attention she wanted.

Spoiler: Frizzy hair PowerLeveling

While Ryann is indeed LARPING as a black woman, I have noticed several posters across the life of the thread who seem to think that only black women have frizzy hair and that white women have easy-to-style, non-frizzy hair. White women can have insanely frizzy hair that would prefer to spend its life as an "Afro," too. Black women do not have the exclusive lease on this kind of hair. I have this kind of hair and I am not black. I gave up on most hair products a long time ago because it takes forever, it's expensive, and my hair is possessed and refuses to behave anyway. I have chosen to embrace my natural hair texture and this does not constitute "Larping as a black woman."

Bowie’s been coached in this video. I know it’s splitting hairs at this point, but his affected tone of voice and overly affectionate body language just SCREAMS “fawning to appease an abusive and emotionally unpredictable caregiver” to me. He doesn’t know how Mawm will react to his behavior at any given time so he dials up the baby voice to 11 just in case.

Good catch. Most people think that the only trauma responses are Fight or Flight, but the responses actually include Fight, Flight, Fawn, or Freeze. Most trauma victims exhibit a blend of these responses rather than sticking to one pure response.

No one gives a shit who Nick wants to sleep with, this is the Tess thread. Go be mad about your breakup elsewhere.

@Lex Leigh Amen. You already stank up the thread with your neediness. Either stop whining about how Nick mistreated you or fuck the hell off. I feel sorry for your children because they're already doomed and their trajectories are sadly, disgustingly predictable. I'd be shocked if one of your many boyfriends / clients / whatever hasn't already sexually abused one or both of your children.

Here's a photo of the son she promised she would no longer exploit in public, because she's the strongest mom ever who needs that fucking check right now, RYLEE.

Poor Bowie will be lucky if he grows taller than your average mailbox. That kid has not one, but two midget parents.

The people who give LA a bad name are transplants from flyover states. They come thinking the city is their playground and then flee in 2-3 years because they can’t hack it.

LA natives are kind and open with their own. But Tess’ type? Feeding frenzy. That’s when the evil switch gets turned on. Angelenos love fucking with transplants.

I must respectfully disagree. LA is a city full of fart-sniffing gasbags. Like anywhere else, you have decent people and you have assholes, but LA has a preponderance of the latter. There is a reason LA has a reputation for being shallow: It is shallow.

Tess is happily pretending they're a couple having a nice normal date at the Outback Fucking Steak House (proof they're both trashy transplants more than anything else).

But LA does have some of the world's best restaurants, and Outback is comparatively beyond pathetic. Broke-as-fuck Superwaddle confirmed. Which leads us to...

Tess's meltdown that she "needed" Ollie to witness is because her sugar daddy cut her off. So now she's called up Mama Beth to either squeeze her for money, to dump Bowie on, or to beg her to let Tess stay with her. Tess only remembers that Mama Beth exists when she wants something from her.

I believe you are correct! She's been dumped by the man for whom she mustered her most fartistic work! No doubt she feels humiliated and angry. She's got to find another man for whom to fart, fast!

Spoiler: Terrible pun, please forgive me!

Maybe that's why she eats so much sugar - to feed the candida yeast that have colonised her gut and that provide a form of this narcissist's supply.

 

[rightlet]

Guess we know why Olly and her mom are back. Tess is going to Mexico with her Jonathan Van Ness wannabe friend for his birthday. While she's farting on tacos, Olly and her mom can babysit Bowie.

 

[FrownyFace]

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WOW WHAT A SUPERMODEL!! With a built-in shelf, too!

Holy wow. I think I need to change my vote to the next highest weight range in the poll.

 

[Water-T]

Guess we know why Olly and her mom are back. Tess is going to Mexico with her Jonathan Van Ness wannabe friend for his birthday. While she's farting on tacos, Olly and her mom can babysit Bowie.

Good news, Tess! You find a new sugar daddy in Mexico, but you're going to have to swap out cake-farting with donkey shows. ANDALE!

 

[NoReturn]

Being as how terminally online Zoomers are, it wouldn't surprise me.

You'd be surprised. Most of them are actually app-based first and foremost.

 

[bloomingcactus]

Am I missing something? How in the fuck does she have the money to go to Mexico? How can someone that never seems to work live this lifestyle? This is muy loca.

I know the theory of a sugar daddy but what if she gets audited? She's living high on the hog (lol) for under the table income.

 

[Local Fed]

Am I missing something? How in the fuck does she have the money to go to Mexico? How can someone that never seems to work live this lifestyle? This is muy loca.

I know the theory of a sugar daddy but what if she gets audited? She's living high on the hog (lol) for under the table income.

My working theory is that one of the cartels is going to begin using her as a drug mule. She can probably smuggle a lot of product within those fat rolls, and there's not a border agent brave enough to inspect her thoroughly.

 

[Trombonista]

And finally will the real Ryann please stand up!

Damn, she looks like your average Southern white trash fatty.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Am I missing something? How in the fuck does she have the money to go to Mexico? How can someone that never seems to work live this lifestyle? This is muy loca.

I know the theory of a sugar daddy but what if she gets audited? She's living high on the hog (lol) for under the table income.

As we can see from her lifestyle and her massive girth, Tess does absolutely no planning for the future. Tess blubbering in random parking lots, to Olly, etc are likely due to various things in life catching up with her. She believes that everything she does is justified so nothing is ever her responsibility. It obviously is because everyone is fatphobic, including the IRS.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

As we can see from her lifestyle and her massive girth, Tess does absolutely no planning for the future. Tess blubbering in random parking lots, to Olly, etc are likely due to various things in life catching up with her. She believes that everything she does is justified so nothing is ever her responsibility. It obviously is because everyone is fatphobic, including the IRS.

Rate me autistic, but damn do I wish the official doing her audit is a fat african american lady who don't take no bullshit from a white trash bitch.

 

[Flawmil]

Tess went on a boozy vacation to celebrate her new hair gays bday. Check out this video of her in the wild

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Tess went on a boozy vacation to celebrate her new hair gays bday. Check out this video of her in the wild
IMG_0559.MP4

*waddle-waddle*

 

[multiverse]

More photos of Tess drunkenly eating all of Mexico's food and fatting about.

 

[maggots]

Her gait in the first few seconds reminds me of the Amberlynn tree walking video. I need more wild Tess shots, the way she waddles after her friend hugs her is just perfect. What a society we live in, Tess has her phone out recording, I’m sure the people in the background yelling “shots” have their phones out recording as well, plus the person recording the video. Tess probably has the front camera on with a heavy filter because narc.

Her cackle reminds me of a 60 year old long term smoker witch. Looks like they drove all the way to Rosarito (according to her IG) which is about a 3 hour drive from LA, what kind of road-trip outfit is that? She’s suffocating in that crop top and those black pants look sweaty. I thought black was supposed to be slimming.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Imagine having this low cut, and still not show a nipple.
Her tit, honest to god, looks like a hanging buttock.

Apologies for the double post, but I think this should be separate.

For the first time since April 13th (#JusticeForDaunteWright post on IG) Tess remembered her BLM activism, dressed up and had a podcast (obligatory stats for the previous episode: 354 views , 10 likes/24dislikes)

Silent review screenshots below

Spoiler: Tess and body issues

So, someone on KuntMedia discovered filters, that would work for the video; because now Tess has 0,5 chins, blending with the neck.

However, the filter refuses to cooperate with puffy eyes

nor jowls

nor hands’ colour

RIP sleeves

Also, someone seriously butthurt about those hooves comments.
Hide them under fluffy blanket,

and if one slips, put under the table,

and if you forget about it, the camera view cuts juuuuust above your hoof. Good job, operator!