- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
The world's most terrifying, over-inflated sex doll
EDIT: fucking ninja'd by @roku optic
Tess has yet to realize that "dead fish look" isn't doing her any favours.
🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud
- Thread starter BILLY MAYS
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EDIT: fucking ninja'd by @roku optic
Tess has yet to realize that "dead fish look" isn't doing her any favours.
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2017
Most protein bars have less calories and 3x the amount of protein than these “cookies.” A lot of bars are organic now. RX bars are a great example, but I think they only have 12g protein?
Anyway — What the fuck is this cookie trying to achieve? It’s not low calorie. It’s not low carb. It’s not high protein. It’s a massive cookie that probably tastes like poop.
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2017
It achieves masquerading as a “healthy treat” for megafats who want to eat giant sugary sweets like toddlers every day, but will enjoy with a bucket of “diet” soda to feel health-conscious and “nourished.”
That thing is the equivalent of giving your kids Sunny D because it’s orange-coloured and has a picture of the sun on the bottle, therefore it’s healthy juice. You would be better off just giving them actual soda.
Might as well have two supercookies, while we’re at it. Make it three, actually. It’s HEALTHY, after all! Bananas, some kind of vitamin, the word “superfood” on the packet...it’s practically a bowl of oat bran and banana in biscuit form! Which is sort of like a bowl of chia seeds and banana if you squint!
So this treat is basically the same as a bowl of banana and chia. Guilt-free!
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
Exactly this. I've said it before, there's nothing wrong with men and boys having long hair, but it has to be maintained like any other haircut. Tess is just using it as an excuse to be a lazy parent.
I'm betting she thought she could trick people into thinking she was standing with her legs together.Bunch of shit in her stories, about Bowie's bday and a horrible video of her claws. She also went drinking with her BFF's wearing this absolutely hideous dress. And that in front... that's ONE thigh. ONE!
View attachment 2233098
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2019
Rate me late but I hope they reinforced the shocks on that fucking thing
As much shit as we fling her, nothing compares to the internal hatred she has as a super fat approaching 40 in a youth and beauty obsessed industry. Haha.
I think this is her way of enlongating her face and showcasing her lips while trying not to draw attention to the deepening nasolabial folds that come with aging.
As much shit as we fling her, nothing compares to the internal hatred she has as a super fat approaching 40 in a youth and beauty obsessed industry. Haha.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
It's one of the best things about the annoyingly mentally ill cows like Tess. "Waaaahhh! People are being mean to me and that's not okay because I'm [insert self-diagnosis for the week]."
Except for how no matter how much well-deserved shit gets flung at people like her, nobody dislikes her as much as she loathes herself. I'll never get tired of seeing that.
- Joined
- Aug 3, 2017
Such brilliant marketing to have a self-avowed "anorexic" to sponsor junk food!
What's next - a CGI Kurt Cobain shilling shotguns?
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2020
The deafening silence in place of any outrage should tell you exactly how many people believed her when she said she was anorexic.
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2016
Rambling ahead:
Her eyebrows look awful in that photo. Drawn on with the wrong color next to the tattooed part. Her face is also discoloring, like she’s getting melasma. She must have diabetes now too.
You can see her hideous scorpion tat right through the dress. A skintight sheer dress on a deathfat will certainly garner stares. Just not the kind she wants.
The woman in the white dress to the left knows how to dress her obese body, at least in this one instance. She’s much prettier than Tess. I think we can declare Tess as a regular looking deathfat-her pretty face is long gone.
That Reddit kindergarten thread made me sad, but not for the teacher. The teacher should know the phrase is not kit gloves, but kid gloves. Kids who pee in kindergarten are not unusual at first-little children are used to having a bathroom when they want, and some get so involved in what they are doing that they ignore signs until too late. They are there to learn the basics, so that’s why the one teacher had them on a good schedule: before lunch, after lunch, before play time, etc. Some are shy so if they raise their hand teachers don’t say no. All kids do better when they have a routine.
Schools do not make or want teachers cleaning up pee or vomit-the custodian will come when called. The most she should do is drop a couple paper towels there to mark the spot and keep other kids away.
Yes, put the onus back on the parents-they need to come change the kid if she can’t do it alone. If there is a nurse’s office (Many CA schools don’t have them on site anymore, it’s one nurse for ten schools or something) you send the kid there. If not, then in the office to wait for parents. If a child is not verbal by kindergarten than there are a host of psychological services and help available, so you get the team together: district nurse, district psychologist, principal, teacher, and have a meeting with the parent and tell them what you hope to do. A parent can say no, but in rare cases a school district can go over the parent and request an evaluation from higher-ups. (That’s a rarity though.). In that case, the teacher has to make it as safe for her and the other kids as possible and it may take creativity. CPS doesn’t need to be involved unless the kid shows up bruised and dirty. It’s not abuse to refuse to admit your kid may be autistic-just sad. (But good for us, we get threads like Tard Baby General.)
That teacher sounds like it’s her first week or she works in a private school and has no idea how to handle anything.
Why do we think Bowie isn’t trained? I am not seeing diapers on him although I haven’t really enlarged photos to check.
Slightly OT: I miss bestgore. (Crazy, I know). Do we know what hit that girl? Didn’t look like another car but hard to tell. And yeah, Bowie needs to be in a booster seat and Ryann needs to buy a six pack of seatbelt extenders.
A jeep is not the kind of vehicle I’d have expected Ryann to pick. Very military looking, no? But no sports car is going to fit a mid-size elephant woman.
Her eyebrows look awful in that photo. Drawn on with the wrong color next to the tattooed part. Her face is also discoloring, like she’s getting melasma. She must have diabetes now too.
You can see her hideous scorpion tat right through the dress. A skintight sheer dress on a deathfat will certainly garner stares. Just not the kind she wants.
The woman in the white dress to the left knows how to dress her obese body, at least in this one instance. She’s much prettier than Tess. I think we can declare Tess as a regular looking deathfat-her pretty face is long gone.
That Reddit kindergarten thread made me sad, but not for the teacher. The teacher should know the phrase is not kit gloves, but kid gloves. Kids who pee in kindergarten are not unusual at first-little children are used to having a bathroom when they want, and some get so involved in what they are doing that they ignore signs until too late. They are there to learn the basics, so that’s why the one teacher had them on a good schedule: before lunch, after lunch, before play time, etc. Some are shy so if they raise their hand teachers don’t say no. All kids do better when they have a routine.
Schools do not make or want teachers cleaning up pee or vomit-the custodian will come when called. The most she should do is drop a couple paper towels there to mark the spot and keep other kids away.
Yes, put the onus back on the parents-they need to come change the kid if she can’t do it alone. If there is a nurse’s office (Many CA schools don’t have them on site anymore, it’s one nurse for ten schools or something) you send the kid there. If not, then in the office to wait for parents. If a child is not verbal by kindergarten than there are a host of psychological services and help available, so you get the team together: district nurse, district psychologist, principal, teacher, and have a meeting with the parent and tell them what you hope to do. A parent can say no, but in rare cases a school district can go over the parent and request an evaluation from higher-ups. (That’s a rarity though.). In that case, the teacher has to make it as safe for her and the other kids as possible and it may take creativity. CPS doesn’t need to be involved unless the kid shows up bruised and dirty. It’s not abuse to refuse to admit your kid may be autistic-just sad. (But good for us, we get threads like Tard Baby General.)
That teacher sounds like it’s her first week or she works in a private school and has no idea how to handle anything.
Why do we think Bowie isn’t trained? I am not seeing diapers on him although I haven’t really enlarged photos to check.
Slightly OT: I miss bestgore. (Crazy, I know). Do we know what hit that girl? Didn’t look like another car but hard to tell. And yeah, Bowie needs to be in a booster seat and Ryann needs to buy a six pack of seatbelt extenders.
A jeep is not the kind of vehicle I’d have expected Ryann to pick. Very military looking, no? But no sports car is going to fit a mid-size elephant woman.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Feb 21, 2016
As of two months ago, he was still in pull-ups. Olly is about as great as Ryann is at ignoring any sort of appropriate boundaries, and she made a story showing Bowie in his pull-ups in the middle of the day, after she'd picked him up from school and he was playing in his room.
Crepidodera fulvicornis
She's exactly like a watermelon, big and round
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2021
Drunken tourist in Dominican Republic; mother of a 8 year old son, doomed to one day see his mom, tits out, finger in her month, *being killed by a lamp post.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2017
Ugh, I had the same thought. It looked like this person taught English in Korea — which is where all the Asiaboos who have too many red flags on their applications for teaching in Japan end up. English teachers I. Asia are an insane bunch. There’s literally no qualifications required except “be White (or maybe a light-skinned minority)” and “come from America / Canada / UK / Aus / NZ”. That’s how you end up with morons who have terrible writing skills and no grasp of grammar teaching ESL to people. It’s fucked.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
Tess has to show off her ass, of course.
And she can't even put her udders away for Bowie's birthday.
And she can't even put her udders away for Bowie's birthday.
Last edited by a moderator:
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2020
Her dress design/pattern makes me think of carpeting and/or upholstery for the backs and seats of benches and chairs in a cozy early-2000s family restaurant.
My god, those legs are fucking TREE TRUNKS by the way.
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
I was thinking the pattern was more like a down on its luck casino carpet from the 1970s, but when you get down to it, it IS upholstery when you look at how much it has to cover. Tess is the same size as a decent loveseat.Her dress design/pattern makes me think of carpeting and/or upholstery for the backs and seats of benches and chairs in a cozy early-2000s family restaurant.
Oscar Winner
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2021
Reminds me of the upholstery on public buses in the same time period here in Aus.
It'll blend in nicely when she buys her own bus after she outgrows the jeep.
“Tess is the same size as a decent loveseat” - how many lost remotes would we find?
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2017
We would find remotes for the tv, cable box, stereo, garage door openers, can openers, cans of food, food stamps, postage stamps, post-it notes, car keys from a 77 Ford Pinto, and Jimmy Hoffa.
Plus enough change to buy a hog farm.
Crepidodera fulvicornis
She's exactly like a watermelon, big and round
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2021
That decorative seam, going between her ass cheeks, indeed doing an excellent job creating an image of an asshole, wrinkles and all.
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2021
They all look like they’re men wearing cheap, waxy masks of dead prostitutes and fat suits.Bunch of shit in her stories, about Bowie's bday and a horrible video of her claws. She also went drinking with her BFF's wearing this absolutely hideous dress. And that in front... that's ONE thigh. ONE!
View attachment 2233098
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2017
Tess: I’M FAT AND PROUD!! WATCH ME LEAN OVER WITH MY ARSE IN THE CAMERA!
Also Tess: *grunts and shuffles to hide one leg way in front of the other so she looks thinner*
Tess can rave about how she’s out with MAH GURRRRRLS and OMG SO KAWEEEEER CLUB all she wants. Ryann, we know you’re fuming you have to hang out with normies instead of celebrities, and that no men are sniffing round you (cept those feeders who demand you not show them in your social media because they would be humiliated to be seen with you).
Meanwhile your gross ex is plowing his way through the verdant whaling fields of Australia.