🐮 Lolcow Russell Greer / Mr. Green / Russell Greee / Russle / Brothel Prince / @ just_some_dude_named_russell29 / A Safer Nevada PAC - Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Convicted of E-Stalking, "Eggshell Skull Plaintiff" Pro Se Litigant, Homeless, aspiring brothel owner

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AbraCadaver said:
Horror story, or completely predictable and logical outcome of trying to buy a permanent sex partner from a foreign country?
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This is especially funny when it's a woman from an Asian country and the guy thinks all Asian women are meek and submissive.

Russ playing poker would be hilarious because he seriously thinks that if you do something better than him you're creating an unfair advantage. He'd rage the first time he lost a hand to an experienced player.
 
Complete Reprobate said:
Hell of a poker face... but what would the tells be? Explosive drooling? Seizures? Backflips?
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Either he'd be super weak and you'd be able to know that if he ever bet anything, he had it and you should fold, or he'd believe every hand he had was a winner no matter what happened, and call every bet no matter what it was. Or both. He'd be a terrible poker player whether or not he had any tells because he has no concept of how other people think or why they do what they do.
 
AnOminous said:
Either he'd be super weak and you'd be able to know that if he ever bet anything, he had it and you should fold, or he'd believe every hand he had was a winner no matter what happened, and call every bet no matter what it was. Or both. He'd be a terrible poker player whether or not he had any tells because he has no concept of how other people think or why they do what they do.
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I’m willing to bet money that Russ thinks poker is just played like a weird social lottery: everyone gets the cards they get, then they sit around staring at each other and talking, then the person with the best hand wins. He probably can’t understand how someone can be “good” at poker, anymore than you can be good at buying lotto tickets.

Russ has zero theory of mind. He can’t read other people and he doesn’t try. He thinks everyone around him is too stupid to read his intentions, as evidenced by him actually believing that people will not cotton onto his silly not-a-date excuses for suing women, or bothering them at work, etc. He clearly assumes no one can see through his most paper-thin machinations. He’s constantly gobsmacked at the notion that other people don’t just automatically believe what he tells them.

Russ thinks all famous people are just sort of talented folk who got extremely lucky. Likely he thinks poker players are the same...the most famous poker players are just the luckiest ones who happen to get lots of good hands all the time. Therefore Russ would be a good poker player too! Provided he gets the best cards, of course.

I can see him throwing a fit if he folded on a decent hand and the guy who bluffed his way to a win had a worse hand. That’s not fair!! The highest hand should WIN, that’s how the game WORKS!! They should have made that guy show his hand to Russ before Russ decided to fold!! Rus was distracted by the hot girlfriend leaning all over the other player’s shoulders....it’s almost like she was doing it on purpose! How is that fair?? Discrimination against the disabled!!!
 
Fak Yunaiga said:
the unblinking tard-stare combined with the figurative and literal inability to keep his mouth shut would be amazing.

Extra points if the dealer that has to deal with him is young, female, and attractive.
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Marshal Mannerheim said:
Wouldn't he get kicked out of most casinos for doing that shit?

I don't gamble so I wouldn't know.
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Slight PL, but I've been to a few casinos in my day. In my experience, the more attractive a dealer is, the better at dealing they are. Casinos let you win a few games to get you on the gambler's high, and then they send out the attractive dealers to distract you so you don't pay full attention to the game. These dealers also know multiple shuffling techniques to stack the deck in favor of the house, and they will talk to you to keep you distracted so you don't recognize this (not like they need the help; you need sharp eyes to catch their shuffling techniques.) The house always wins for a reason.

In general, when you're up against an attractive dealer who acts interested in you, it's a good sign to call it a night. They are vampires who will bleed you white if you let them. A young, attractive female dealer would probably view Russell with disgust initially, but would quickly realize that he's an easy mark.
 
DrJonesHat said:
He says this every year, and every year brings a self-inflicted disaster upon him.
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Just think, he's gone from being some weirdo who tried to sue Taylor Swift and likes to patron prostitutes, to having a new criminal conviction for stalking and harassment in just a few short years of having a thread here. It seems that every new year Russhole proclaims that "This will be my year!" and every new year he just digs himself deeper and deeper in the hole he's made for himself. Can't wait to see how he's going to fuck his life up in 2021. I think moving to Vegas will prove to be a real dumbass move for Russ.

Hambubger said:
Is it me or is moving to Vegas gonna just bring out the worst in Russ. He is gonna beat a hooker one day for refusing to service him or maybe pick up a gambling addiction.
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Russhole won't even play video games because he sees them as a waste of time. He sees anything that doesn't further his goals of becoming rich and famous or getting a 9/10 hottie girlfriend as a waste of time. I highly doubt he will take up gambling, let alone become addicted to it. Not unless he somehow convinces himself it'll help attain his goals.

Radiant Orchit said:
I mean, his lack of facial expressions might actually be an advantage here...
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Facial gestures are only a small part of picking up someone's tells in poker. There is a whole spectrum of gestures and body language that skilled poker players will pick up on to read another player's tells. Russ is a twitchy little rat with poor self-control, who is easily agitated and excited, has poor social skills, and who has several ticks. All his other tells and ticks would totally override any advantage his corpse's face would give him.
 
Sexy Senior Citizen said:
Casinos let you win a few games to get you on the gambler's high, and then they send out the attractive dealers to distract you so you don't pay full attention to the game.
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Yeah, no. Casinos don't "let" anyone win.

Sexy Senior Citizen said:
These dealers also know multiple shuffling techniques to stack the deck in favor of the house, and they will talk to you to keep you distracted so you don't recognize this (not like they need the help; you need sharp eyes to catch their shuffling techniques.) The house always wins for a reason.
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The reason the house always wins is because the percentages are built into the game, not because they cheat the patrons. They don't employ any "shuffling techniques" to sway the odds.
 
ILovePudding said:
Yeah, no. Casinos don't "let" anyone win.



The reason the house always wins is because the percentages are built into the game, not because they cheat the patrons. They don't employ any "shuffling techniques" to sway the odds.
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Yep, at least in Nevada there are strict rules casinos and their employees who work the gaming floor must follow in order to not run afoul of the Nevada Gaming Commission. Anyone working as a card dealer or someone running a gaming table has to go through schooling and gain a license to work in the field, and that license can get pulled for pretty minor things. And the NGC will send agents under cover to inspect the casinos to make sure they're running clean games and their employees aren't cheating. Of course, casinos have no need to cheat these days. Everything is in their favor, and if word got out that a casino was running a crooked game it would be suicide for them. Likewise, no one who has gone to the trouble of getting the training and licensing to work in the casinos is going to risk their livelihood by cheating for their employer. This isn't the bad old days where every casino was owned by the mafia and they could basically make up their own rules. It's a finely tuned business with strict rules and regs to follow for everyone involved.
 
Hambubger said:
Is it me or is moving to Vegas gonna just bring out the worst in Russ. He is gonna beat a hooker one day for refusing to service him or maybe pick up a gambling addiction.
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I don't think Russ has the physical cognizance to win a brawl. One could argue he has tard strength on his side. But he is also a coward who has always hidden behind a screen before mouthing off what he plans to do to someone.

If he tries no doubt the hooker's pimp is going to put him in a hospital bed.

With the gambling, Russ is too much of a goodygoody and a sped, Mormon years taught him gambling and caffeine are bad so he never indulges in them. Also he sees spending money on anything that won't get his dick wet as a waste of time. So gamblings out.

Though if one of the floozies the casinos hire to butter up chumps to get them to spend more money convinces him, no doubt he will blow all his money there in the hopes of getting laid, and then chimp out when it doesn't get him pootang.
 
Marshal Mannerheim said:
Given @Sexy Senior Citizen's username, maybe he went to casinos when that was how they operated.
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The mafia had been forced out of Las Vegas for the most part by the early 1990s. Las Vegas at that time was trying to get rid of its "Sin City" image and rebrand itself as a respectable resourt destination that was also family friendly. While mom and dad hit the tables, the kiddies could go ride roller coasters and see dolphins put on shows like at Sea World, then everyone could get together to watch knights battle during dinner and catch the Sigfried and Roy show afterwards. Part of this push for "family friendly" legitimacy was forcing the mob out of Vegas, and they did that by giving them the choice of selling off their casinos to legitimate, lawful businesses and being able to stay free men, or having their gaming licenses forfeit, their businesses closed, their assets seized, going to prison, and having the media make it all VERY public. If you'll pardon the cliché: they made the mafia an offer they couldn't refuse. By the late 80s there weren't many mafia-run establishments left anyways, but there were enough that Las Vegas wanted them out because they were part of the image they desperately wanted to get away from.


Rustled Jimmies said:
I don't think Russ has the physical cognizance to win a brawl. One could argue he has tard strength on his side. But he is also a coward who has always hidden behind a screen before mouthing off what he plans to do to someone.

If he tries no doubt the hooker's pimp is going to put him in a hospital bed.

With the gambling, Russ is too much of a goodygoody and a sped, Mormon years taught him gambling and caffeine are bad so he never indulges in them. Also he sees spending money on anything that won't get his dick wet as a waste of time. So gamblings out.

Though if one of the floozies the casinos hire to butter up chumps to get them to spend more money convinces him, no doubt he will blow all his money there in the hopes of getting laid, and then chimp out when it doesn't get him pootang.
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Russ drinks caffeine. He's even talked about drinking coffee at times, though it's usually pussy-ass foo-foo candy posing as coffee from Starbucks. It's alcohol that Russ is still against since leaving the Church, since he's bitched a few times about his "dates" drinking.
 
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The Dude said:
Russ drinks caffeine. He's even talked about drinking coffee at times, though it's usually pussy-ass foo-foo candy posing as coffee from Starbucks. It's alcohol that Russ is still against since leaving the Church, since he's bitched a few times about his "dates" drinking.
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Doesn't he go to Starbucks and order hot chocolate?
I can believe Russ seeing something sugary on the menu and ordering that as he has the palate of a 12 year old, when it probably has caffeine in it but if memory serves he usually orders hot chocolate and never outright coffee.
 
The Dude said:
The mafia had been forced out of Las Vegas for the most part by the early 1990s. Las Vegas at that time was trying to get rid of its "Sin City" image and rebrand itself as a respectable resourt destination that was also family friendly. While mom and dad hit the tables, the kiddies could go ride roller coasters and see dolphins put on shows like at Sea World, then everyone could get together to watch knights battle during dinner and catch the Sigfried and Roy show afterwards. Part of this push for "family friendly" legitimacy was forcing the mob out of Vegas, and they did that by giving them the choice of selling off their casinos to legitimate, lawful businesses and being able to stay free men, or having their gaming licenses forfeit, their businesses closed, their assets seized, going to prison, and having the media make it all VERY public. If you'll pardon the cliché: they made the mafia an offer they couldn't refuse. By the late 80s there weren't many mafia-run establishments left anyways, but there were enough that Las Vegas wanted them out because they were part of the image they desperately wanted to get away from.
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The God Father is one of the greatest novels ever written. While it's depiction of human nature, and some specific stand ins for historical figures is scarily accurate; it's depiction of the mob isn't. To the extent the Mafia matched their depiction in The God Father, it was imitation of the book/movie.

Casinos are often used to teach about risk, by idiots. Running a properly set up casino involves far less risk than your average stand-alone restaurant. The percentage is not exactly 51% as stated by @Marshal Mannerheim. Of course, it's best to look at gambling games not in terms of odds of winning, but something called expected value. I think I may be dragging this thread a bit off topic with an in depth discussion of how casinos work though. If you're interested in starting your journey down the math rabbit-hole of gambling, check out this video by Mathologer.
 
Rustled Jimmies said:
Doesn't he go to Starbucks and order hot chocolate?
I can believe Russ seeing something sugary on the menu and ordering that as he has the palate of a 12 year old, when it probably has caffeine in it but if memory serves he usually orders hot chocolate and never outright coffee.
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Russ logic. Mormons don’t drink caffeine yet Russ cohorts with with prostitutes.
 
Fak Yunaiga said:
the fact that you are offended enough by that line to assert that I must never have had sex proves you a simp, or a woman.
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”everyone I don't like is literally Hitler a femoid.”
TheCakeIsALie said:
Russ logic. Mormons don’t drink caffeine yet Russ cohorts with with prostitutes.
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I don't think Russell's known for his logic.
 
The Dude said:
He sees anything that doesn't further his goals of becoming rich and famous or getting a 9/10 hottie girlfriend as a waste of time. I highly doubt he will take up gambling, let alone become addicted to it. Not unless he somehow convinces himself it'll help attain his goals.
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Yeah but I could see him seeing hot girls around players at casinos, be they hookers, girlfriends or just random bimbos bouncing around from high-roller to high-roller, and think that with his mega genius intellect he can crush at the games and score some hotties.

Of course, that's assuming his On-Off psuedo-Mormonism doesn't interfere.
Marshal Mannerheim said:
True.

I'm pretty sure the odds are set at 51% in favour of the house which, when you have big sums of money being thrown around, is pretty good.
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In Blackjack the odds are in favor of the house, because its basically players vs the dealer.

In Poker (especially the popular Texas Hold'em) Casinos make their money with a "rake", which is the house taking a small % (a tax if you will) of every pot. Usually 2-5%, though some places and even sketchy home games may charge up to 10% or higher (at which point its brutal and almost unfun because everyone's stacks are diminishing without constant cash inflow).

Shit like slots can be rigged to all hell.

Though in the south, some casinos and "game rooms" have video poker, which can also be rigged to all hell because instead of pure statistical luck of the cards, the computer is basically deciding how often you are dealt a winning hand.
Spawn said:
Bro their hookers not pornstars. None of them are happy with their lives
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Arguably hookers get off better than pornstars.

Which is part of the hilarity of this specific cow, is because he thinks he can woo hookers with cheap flowers and Olive Garden dates while they quite possibly have other clients who straight up buy them cars and expensive jewelry.
 
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