Fanfiction Horrors

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SuperFilter said:
Just found this profile. Ho-lee shit. The grammar nazi to end all grammar nazis.
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2936324/voltaire22

Don't you just love pseudo-intellectual fanfiction writers?
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This is fucking The Fox Familiar levels of smug pseudo-intellectualism.

Except at least this dude has some sucky creative output instead of just sucky, homophobic screeds disguised as critique.
 
Well, as I have seen some pretty heinous fanfics, I'm surprised nobody has mentioned jO bekke at HUgwRts or The Prayer Warriors. The sad thing is, as much as "trollficy" these fics sound, both writers were actually god damn serious.

I actually know that both are serious because I and the creator of My Immortal (who I am actually friends with) have actually argued with both authors.
 
Religious themed fanfic (whether trollfic or not) are easily the worst.

Might be late but Harry Potter Turns to the Lord is another badfic. What's even funnier is that the author reviewed his own story and claims that it was a blessing from God.

Screen Shot 2015-05-26 at 12.54.33 AM.png
 
Pinball Lizard said:
So anyone remember that movie Bridge to Terabithia? Based on a book, had Robert "T-1000" Patrick and a pre-Peeta Josh Hutcherson? I was surprised to discover that had an active fandom, and some of the people in it are very odd. In particular there's this one guy, MadTom, who claims to be a 58-year-old school psychologist, and yet he writes Buffy and Terabithia fics. Thing is, in his stories for the latter, he frequently has the leads, who are ~10-12 years old... get naked. A lot. He swears up and down he isn't a pedofork and that the nudity symbolizes innocence, which, to be fair, nudity can symbolize, but...

I mean, am I right to be concerned about a middle-aged man, working a job that has easy access to kids, writing about naked tweens, or has the internet really made me that cynical?
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I remember reading that book in 5th Grade. And then we watched the movie after we finished. But it was a few years before the one with Josh Hutcherson came out so we watched the shitty 80s made for TV movie instead. I remember our teacher got mad at us for laughing and making fun of the bad acting. But getting back on topic, that does sound creepy. Why would an almost 60 year old professional write fanfiction? Pedophilic fanfiction at that.

Anyway, there's this Rugrats fic called Every Parent's Worst Nightmare. It starts out with Didi Pickles reminiscing last night with Stu. While the fic is pretty explicit from the start, it snowballs into something....worse. Includes pedophilia and bestiality. You been warned.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3009577/1/Every-Parent-s-Worst-Nightmare

There's also a hysterical dramatic reading of it on YouTube.
 
IJustWantToSeeAttachments said:
You know what's hilarious? His grammar is crap.
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It's probably okay for him because he's just not a native English speaker (he claims). His rules only apply to the uncultured Americans he's so obviously superior to. :roll: Despite not only living here but possibly even as a citizen since he claims to be in the army.
 
Okay, this is a real one.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/256551/1/kindness-and-the-lamb/in-the-garden-of-the-lord
Maybe I'm the only one who can truly appreciate the humor inherent in the juxtaposition of Abrahamic religion and My Little Pony, but I always start dry heaving in the middle of these.

"Fluttershy blushed, but nodded, and lay down on the grass. Jesus joined her, and laid his hand upon her head. As he scratched, he felt her soul"
 
ViolentGiant said:
Okay, this is a real one.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/256551/1/kindness-and-the-lamb/in-the-garden-of-the-lord
Maybe I'm the only one who can truly appreciate the humor inherent in the juxtaposition of Abrahamic religion and My Little Pony, but I always start dry heaving in the middle of these.

"Fluttershy blushed, but nodded, and lay down on the grass. Jesus joined her, and laid his hand upon her head. As he scratched, he felt her soul"
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I'm not religious, but I'm pretty sure this isn't in any sort of bible canon in any possible universe.
 
TheMightyMonarch said:
I remember reading that book in 5th Grade. And then we watched the movie after we finished. But it was a few years before the one with Josh Hutcherson came out so we watched the shitty 80s made for TV movie instead. I remember our teacher got mad at us for laughing and making fun of the bad acting. But getting back on topic, that does sound creepy. Why would an almost 60 year old professional write fanfiction? Pedophilic fanfiction at that.
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Even worse, this guy seems to be one of the big name fans, who other fans go to for writing advice. It really makes me wonder if the whole fandom's full of pervs. I mean, yes, AnnaSophia Robb is a lovely girl, but she was thirteen when she made the movie and I think her character is supposed to be younger. Eurgh.
 
Pinball Lizard said:
Even worse, this guy seems to be one of the big name fans, who other fans go to for writing advice. It really makes me wonder if the whole fandom's full of pervs. I mean, yes, AnnaSophia Robb is a lovely girl, but she was thirteen when she made the movie and I think her character is supposed to be younger. Eurgh.
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I've been following fandom drama for almost a decade now and at this point, I think it be harder to list the more popular and well known fans who AREN'T lolcows. You're in a position in which you're basing your creative work off another's person's. You get almost the same amount of adoration as the actual author without having to put in at least half the creativity. Basically, you manage to be really popular without putting in much effort or hard work. I can see why lolcows, who are typically huge attention whores and minimally talented at best, are drawn to this. Of course they're are some exceptions to this but still.
It also doesn't surprise me that the Bridge to Teribitha fandom is a pedo outlet. I feel like with any piece of media who's main characters are children is gonna attract pedos. No matter how wholesome it is. I mean Christ, look at the Gravity Falls fandom for instance.

Anyway, back on topic. There's this blog on Tumblr called Wtf Fanfiction that documents some of the more absurd lines in not so good fanfiction. I feel like a lot the submissions come from obvious troll fics, but that doesn't make it any less hilarious. Especially out of context. The Mass Effect tag had me dying the first time I went through it. Some examples;

TJqI6tM.jpg


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Bfie6Oo.jpg


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And there's this
http://wtffanfiction.com/post/102979242694/wtffanfictionvoiced-credit-goes-to#notes

EDIT: Because I suck at html
 
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I remember I was on Fimfiction.net and I posted a really edgy fan fiction about zombies and flying palaces. I was looking at the other fan fictions and I saw an even edgier fan fiction about an alicorn OC named Slade who goes to Ponyville with his Changeling best friend and meets (possibly having sex and killing) the "Mane six." The grammar was even worse. Unfortunately, this guy deleted his story because of the criticism.
 
TheMightyMonarch said:
Anyway, there's this Rugrats fic called Every Parent's Worst Nightmare. It starts out with Didi Pickles reminiscing last night with Stu. While the fic is pretty explicit from the start, it snowballs into something....worse. Includes pedophilia and bestiality. You been warned.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3009577/1/Every-Parent-s-Worst-Nightmare

There's also a hysterical dramatic reading of it on YouTube.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=5x6dpkdogsA
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I have no idea what I just read.
 
Francis E. Dec Esc. said:
I remember him. I wrote a critique of his fanfics back around 2000 or so, and he called me a Nazi and threatened to kill me.

Here's his Daria wiki biography hagiography.
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He seems to have pretty much fallen into lolcow obscurity despite his fanfics being, well, pretty bad. (That sex scene between Daria and his original self-insert character in one of his fanfics, anyone?) A few are actually kinda decent, or at least don't suck so bad.
 
No one has mentioned Thirty Hs? Heresy.

Its actual title is HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, but everyone calls it Thirty Hs because it's easier that way. It is the most metal Harry Potter fanfiction in existence.
 
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