Having Children

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Kids

  • Yes, I'm a pregger fetishist and i hate money

    Votes: 26 44.1%

  • No, I want a succession of flesh dolls for companionship

    Votes: 11 18.6%

  • Idk, just let me get lubes for this fence

    Votes: 22 37.3%
  • Total voters
    59
Never liked kids, so none for me. They're expensive to raise too, and I'd rather have that extra money to live my life the way I want to.
I'm a lesbian too, so I can't really have kids without a sperm donor or adopting. But a partner who wants kids is a deal breaker for me...the biggest one, actually.
I'm more of a pet person.
Never liked the people who call people like me "selfish" just because I don't want kids. It really isn't any of their business and I don't bitch about people who have kids. I never really got why people are so nosy about that stuff.
 
Had a kid, not sure yet if there will be a second Houligan baby or not, I do enjoy the baby bear but can see where people wouldn't want to have their own.
 
Would never have a kid. Currently saving up to get fixed so it won't be a problem.
 
I've been on the fence lately. On one hand, I'd love to have a child. However, I have a couple of conditions I wouldn't ever want to give to someone. Also, there's no way I'd be able to take care of one right now. Maybe in the future it'll be a possibility but right now it would be a bad idea.
 
Since I'll be married in mid-July, the question at this point isn't if but when. My fiancée and I have discussed this at length and we definitely want kids, although not as many as my parents had (I'm the oldest of six). We've also talked about names...is that weird?
 
Zeorus said:
Since I'll be married in mid-July, the question at this point isn't if but when. My fiancée and I have discussed this at length and we definitely want kids, although not as many as my parents had (I'm the oldest of six). We've also talked about names...is that weird?
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I don't think so. I think that's a pretty smart way to go about it. I escaped a relationship that, towards the end, had a lot of thinly veiled "I'll make you change your mind about having kids" shit.

Love is not having to hide your birth control pills. :heart-full:
 
Can't say I've ever wanted children. Still don't, and pretty sure I'll have that mindset for the rest of my life.

Kids have never appealed to me. I've always seen them as expensive, time-consuming annoyances that I simply don't have the tolerance to deal with. I'm terrible with them and they often agitate me to the point I have to leave a store/park before I become overly hostile from my mood getting soured. I understand they're kids and often don't know better but I just don't have the attitude required to be a responsible parent.

I'll just stick with having dogs or cats. Even snakes. I do far better with animals plus they're cuter imo.
 
IronJustice said:
Yes, in a marriage you are 'equals' but in a lot of ways you need to put your spouse BEFORE yourself. That is probably against all of the instincts you have from dating; evaluating others to see if they are worth the time/emotional/financial investment of a relationship. But after that phase, and definitely after a marriage, you need to put that out of your mind. Hanging on to feelings like that will drag a marriage down. Both partners need to put their spouse's needs before their own, because it makes you happy to do so.
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I was in a five-year-long relationship (officially; it was more like 7 altogether I believe) where a lot of this came into play. We were "engaged to be engaged" and all that. It wound up being a very unhealthy, somewhat abusive relationship (on both sides; this was during a very turbulent time for me mentally). Getting over all that means I have to be very cautious about when I decide to put someone before myself. I spent so long doing just that that I have to force myself to put myself first now.

(sorry if this is incoherent I am very sleepy)
 
I'm bad with kids. I think there's only one child in my life that I'm actually good around, and it's my 2 year old second cousin. She's very attached to me, and she's the only child I've ever felt maternal instincts towards. My family has been poking fun at me a lot lately because of it, since for the longest time I said I really didn't think I'd ever have kids.

I still haven't changed my mind, and I'm unsure if I ever will. I'm open to the possibility I might have kids in the future, sure, but at this current time, I don't see myself doing so. I enjoy having a lot of free time after work, and I like having plenty of money. I stress easily, and taking care of another human being would put me in a hospital. It's already bad enough having to take care of our new puppy.

The only way I'd see myself having a kid is if I dated a guy who really, really wants a kid, and if I really, really thought I was ready mentally, emotionally, and financially. I don't see all of those prerequisites ever being accomplished at one time, thus no kids for me.
 
I want to have children at some point in the future, and at least two. Being an only child isn't all that it's cracked up to be, especially in the heavily car-dependent city where I'm from. Of course, I want to wait to have children, but at the same time, I don't want to wait to the point when my children will be more likely to have genetic problems because of my old age. I'm an undergraduate student and my parents were born when FDR and Truman were president, respectively, so I know the difficulties of living with older parents.

I still have my concerns about having children, of course. I don't want to bring new life to this world if I didn't think that I could raise children due to any circumstances, whether they be financial or otherwise personal. That, and marriage seems to be more trouble than it's worth, especially in the area that I'm from, which has a very high divorce rate. I believe that divorce while a family still has dependent children should be avoided at all costs, and I think that finding a potential spouse who would agree to that and actually stick to it would be virtually impossible in this day and age.
 
I've heard "you'll change your mind" about wanting a kid since I first stated that I didn't want one, in my first "long term" relationship (which was junior and senior year in high school-why my first heartsweet wanted to discuss this at that age was beyond me but, whatever), and I still don't want any. Ever.

Itemized reasons:
A) I'm a hypochondriac. I'm better than I used to be, but I still suck and worry about shit ALL THE TIME and if my kid sneezed I would probably send them to ER and they would develop a complex from me worrying about them constantly and become a Lil' Hypochondriac themselves.


B) I was raised very leniently and was left to my own devices quite often, thus spending too much time watching TV and playing vidya as well as developing some unsavory friendships. I think I would be one of those parents who would do the exact opposite and be overbearing, wonder where my kids were constantly, etc even though I would mean the best for them, I would come off as controlling and my kids would probably get into more shit from being watched like a hawk, than I did from having the opposite.

C) Money. Self explanatory. I want a restored Trans Am one day and a LS1 is a big, thirsty engine to feed and a child would prevent me from this extremely random and frivolous dream.

Also I just don't know how to act around them. My ex had a babby sister that we would watch and I would be terrified of her and whenever she would make a sound I'd be like OH GOD WHAT'S WRONG I CAN'T COMMUNICATE WITH YOU and she was this bundle of responsibility and my ex would always say "she's so CUTE I want a kid soon" and I was like LOL OH LOOK AT THE TIME TIME FOR ME TO VACATE THE PREMISES

this post probably makes me look extremely neurotic and cold
 
Bronchitis that Lingers said:
this post probably makes me look extremely neurotic and cold
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You'd probably be better than you think. Funny thing, though, the people who want to have insane numbers of kids are usually absolutely the worst people to be having any kids at all.
 
AnOminous said:
You'd probably be better than you think. Funny thing, though, the people who want to have insane numbers of kids are usually absolutely the worst people to be having any kids at all.
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This is an irony I've noticed often with people who don't want kids; it's usually because we're so afraid of fucking up a child's life, not giving them what they need to succeed, ect that prevents us from reproducing. Then you see a mother who's completely unfit to raise a child talk about how she wants more and more children.
This one time comes to mind that will forever disgust me: my buddy and I go to this kickback hosted by buddy's friends who I don't know. I'm trying to keep an open mind, they have beer, it'll be ok.
A pregnant woman opens the door, and I instantly see their newborn child in one of those babby swing type cradle things, next to a beer pong table . They live in the hood, there's no food in the fridge (but it's stocked with bud light), and surprise, they have a bigass flatscreen as well. They lived with a guy who was completely strung out, and wait for it- they had a third kid, who they woke up to introduce to my friend at I at one in the morning. The entire time we were there, the couple talked about how the unborn child was a "surprise" and how they "totally weren't expecting it but it's ok LOL"
CONDOMS. BIRTH CONTROL. HOW DO THEY WORK? DIP INTO THE BEER AND XBOX LIVE FUND FOR AN IUD.

I just...I can't. That was two years ago, and I still can't. Those poor kids are going to be so screwed, and it hit me in the feels like no other.
/rant
 
Bronchitis that Lingers said:
This is an irony I've noticed often with people who don't want kids; it's usually because we're so afraid of fucking up a child's life, not giving them what they need to succeed, ect that prevents us from reproducing. Then you see a mother who's completely unfit to raise a child talk about how she wants more and more children.
This one time comes to mind that will forever disgust me: my buddy and I go to this kickback hosted by buddy's friends who I don't know. I'm trying to keep an open mind, they have beer, it'll be ok.
A pregnant woman opens the door, and I instantly see their newborn child in one of those babby swing type cradle things, next to a beer pong table . They live in the hood, there's no food in the fridge (but it's stocked with bud light), and surprise, they have a bigass flatscreen as well. They lived with a guy who was completely strung out, and wait for it- they had a third kid, who they woke up to introduce to my friend at I at one in the morning. The entire time we were there, the couple talked about how the unborn child was a "surprise" and how they "totally weren't expecting it but it's ok LOL"
CONDOMS. BIRTH CONTROL. HOW DO THEY WORK? DIP INTO THE BEER AND XBOX LIVE FUND FOR AN IUD.

I just...I can't. That was two years ago, and I still can't. Those poor kids are going to be so screwed, and it hit me in the feels like no other.
/rant
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I know the feeling. I knew this girl younger than me from high school who has two kids that to my knowledge were not planned. She also talks about suicide and has shit people skills (talked about how she was fired for badmouthing a customer while another worker had 'booty pics'). That was also the chick I went on a high school Disney trip with who was nasty and a buzzkill. I understand that this is not the worst thing, but I get concerned about if she actually does commit suicide or if they grow up to be worse.
 
Yeah, no - I'm too busy trying to get through school and eventually move out, provided I can get a better fucking job, that is...
 
https://sneed-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/d3/2a/b2/d32ab2b8e1e48f85ef91f0754b671583.jpg
 
AveraDiane said:
I know the feeling. I knew this girl younger than me from high school who has two kids that to my knowledge were not planned. She also talks about suicide and has shit people skills (talked about how she was fired for badmouthing a customer while another worker had 'booty pics'). That was also the chick I went on a high school Disney trip with who was nasty and a buzzkill. I understand that this is not the worst thing, but I get concerned about if she actually does commit suicide or if they grow up to be worse.
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I understand that people can't change themselves, but they can prevent a child. My friend (same one in the story above) just got out of an abusive relationship with a 30 year old woman who would daydrink 3-4 times a week when she had two young kids, and the straw that broke the camels back: this 30 year old woman did blow in a restaurant bathroom at dinner that she went to without finding a babysitter, had a pyschotic break on the car ride home, screaming at my friend and then slept all of the next day instead of taking care of her kids. There's a time to experiment; it isn't when you're a mother with a fragile psyche that a stimulant can break.
This girl was a monster, she said she was "traumatized" by having children, yet still wasn't on birth control. She even had an abortion in between her first and second child so it's not like she's pro life or anything like that. Every time my friend would call me to talk about her I would rage. How the fuck can you have kids and get smashed multiple times a week and get yakked out at dinner while you're kids run around at home doing God knows what? And not even want kids?

Maybe my priorities are screwed, but contraception has always been first priority with any partner I've had. An unplanned pregnancy can completely destroy a life, and destroy a future one as well. If you don't want a kid, take all steps to prevent it. We certainly could have used the money elsewhere, but the hundreds of thousands of dollars from having a child compared to the couple hundred a year for contraceptives? Seems like a no brainier to me.
 
When I tell someone that I don't want kids and never will want kids, they always give me the same "you won't be saying that when you're older!"

Bitch, I'm 27. And I'm as petrified by the prospect of having kids now as I was when I was 17.
 
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