😵‍💫 Skitzocow Augustus Sol Invictus / Austin Gillespie - Crazy Lawyer and Failed Politician, Kicked Out of Libertarian Party

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I wanna know more about his alleged four children. Do they all have the same mom? Does he have a wife or baby momma? What kind of woman would procreate with this loon?
 
TheMightyMonarch said:
I wanna know more about his alleged four children. Do they all have the same mom? Does he have a wife or baby momma? What kind of woman would procreate with this loon?
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In the last video I posted, he claims to have (or that he at least had) a wife:

Egomanic said:
Dear Friends & Family:

Today I announced my candidacy for the United States Senate. I am deeply honored to have entered into public life today, and I look forward to the coming campaign with all the force of my soul.

To many of you, this announcement may seem sudden, and perhaps premature. But to those who have known me, this campaign has been eight years coming. In late 2006, when I was working as a pharmacy technician, my family was forced to sell everything when the Drug Enforcement Administration forced the closure of the pharmacy. My wife and children had to move to a one-bedroom apartment in Orlando while I remained in Tampa, homeless, in order to finish my Bachelor’s Degree. I vowed vengeance on the DEA. I swore that one day I would gain power enough to end the drug war and put those agents out of work like they did to me. I would make their families homeless as they did mine.

But the following eight years taught me many lessons. Certainly the anger was strong enough to propel me through my junior and senior years of college in one year; to excel in law school even apart from my family; to become licensed to practice law in four States; to open my own law firm; and to defend those who were targeted in the drug war as I was. One’s perspective changes, however – or so we hope – when one realizes himself to be in a position of power. Suddenly the lust for personal vengeance subsides, and more noble sentiments take hold.

Many of us have a cynical view of politicians. We assume that they seek their power not for the good of the nation, but for their own self-aggrandizement; that they are rich people looking to become richer, powerful people looking for more power; that they serve the special interests who pay them rather than their fellow countrymen – and oftentimes this surely is the case. But I would ask you to suspend your disbelief, at least for the next eighteen months. I am controlled by no special interests; I am not rich by any stretch of the imagination; and I honestly believe I have much to offer the United States of America.

My Pilgrimage to the Mojave Desert two years ago cured me of my juvenile humor. I once held the esteem of those around me with contempt and criticized society with reckless abandon. I would rail against everything existing if it would affect the consciousness of the listener; whether positively or negatively mattered not. But if the past two years have taught me anything, it is that taking a stand against something is easy: to stand for something is the most difficult thing of all.

The coming campaign will be impossible to bear – let alone to win – without your support. Whether you live in Orlando or Miami, in Tampa or Tallahassee, in Jacksonville or Daytona, I need your help and your affection now more than ever. This is the hour we have been preparing for all these years. This is that moment of destiny so many dream of but so few experience.

As in any campaign, the only thing that matters is victory. Historians agonize endlessly over how certain wars could have been won, about the mistakes that could have been avoided, about the factors contributing to defeat – but in the final analysis, there is only one, everlasting fact: the losing side has lost that campaign forever. There is no redemption.

But if we can set aside our cynicism and pull together, we can do more than just make a statement. We can actually win. The victorious mindset has simply never entered the heads of candidates and supporters of third parties, but I assure you it is not only a fantastical possibility – it is within our reach.

The American people are sick of the two-party system, its outrageous corruption, its impotence to return the United States to its former glory. They are – as you and I are – enraged at the meteoric rise in government brutality, the viciousness of our military endeavors, the bankruptcy of the elite’s ideology. No one wants our children’s generation to be burdened with quadrillions of dollars in debt or the inevitable collapse of our society beneath such weight. Our generation must be the one to throw itself into the arena of history and combat the system: no one else will do it for us. And what cowardice it would be to expect our children to fight the war we wished to avoid.

We can make this change. My election would signal to the powers that be that the American people truly are awakening to the fact that their leaders have sold them and their children down the river. But I cannot win without your help. I ask you, in all sincerity, to join me. Not I alone, but your country, needs you.

With that, know that I am with very great esteem

Your Most Obedient Servant,

Augustus Sol Invictus
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As for kids, I'm really not sure. Regardless, I'm not really interested in his kids, nor his wife (especially if they aren't together) if she isn't a lolcow.
 
voiceguy said:
As I have just posted on his Facebook campaign page: "In a 2013 mass e-mail Invictus formally renounced his United States citizenship. He is therefore, under Constitutional law, ineligible to run for Senate."
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Invictus' response:
Nut said:
We of the Invictus for Senate campaign would advise going to law school before drawing legal conclusions like that.
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I just noticed that this video (one of his two announcement videos; I don't think they're the same event, though, but I've only watched each one once so far) has about 15,000 views, while his other four have between 26 and 131 views. I'm guessing he paid for views. :lol:

It's also interesting that in both of the announcement videos, he starts out with the "they say that only failures become revolutionaries" line from his mental breakdown email.
 
Of course you wrote this--it sucks and you've told the political consultants who disagree with you off. He also seems to have forgotten to use his fake accent at a few different points. In addition, does anyone else find his body language to be really weird in this, or is it just me? (I'm not sure, but the FEC and Coca-Cola may not be too fond of the video title.)

More degree sperging. He also goes on a bit about his revolution. Of note is that Adrian Wyllie is the 2014 gubernatorial nominee who he accused of being stupid/lazy/unemployed in the first of these "fireside chats." Near the end, there seems to be a swipe against Roger Stone, who he will likely have to run against in the Libertarian primary for Senate.
 
Jesus fucking Christ, this dude is fuckin' nuts. I mean, I have somewhat revolutionary and antidemocratic sympathies, but good God, his arrogance and flat-out disregard for human life is just mind-boggling.

Also, he's about as "libertarian" as Paul Krugman's left foot.
 
I'll give him this much: he said he was not going to waste his time answering his detractors and he isn't -- even when I commented on his Coca-Cola "endorsement" video "Do you plan to make your entire campaign as misleading as the title of this video?" I've also expressed my opinion that he is a liar two other times on his Facebook campaign page and haven't gotten a rise out of him. He's not your typical lolcow, that's for sure -- can't seem to get a rise out of him.

We're about halfway down the second page when you Google his name. Maybe if we keep commenting and moving up to that number one position on page one he will start to notice us. In case that happens, make sure you couch everything you say as an opinion and not fact -- he is a lawyer and would probably have no hesitation about suing you.*


*In my opinion.
 
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RepQuest said:
Jesus fucking Christ, this dude is fuckin' nuts. I mean, I have somewhat revolutionary and antidemocratic sympathies, but good God, his arrogance and flat-out disregard for human life is just mind-boggling.

Also, he's about as "libertarian" as Paul Krugman's left foot.
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One of the odd side effects of the quasi-breakout of libertarianism as a mass political ideology in the last ten years is that a lot of people use it to describe themselves purely due to indifference to established political parties, even if their actual preferences are often pretty far from the basics of libertarian philosophy. I've had self-identified libertarians explain to me the need for gigantic heavily-patroled border fences, mass surveillance of Muslims, government colonies on the moon and any number of other gigantic expansions of state power that, were Hayek to come back to life, would cause him to drop dead all over again. I suppose it's somewhat similar to people calling themselves "anarchists", but from a broadly right wing perspective rather than a broadly left wing one.

OK, that was a bit of a digression. This guy certainly seems like a wingnut, although sadly I can't say I'm really surprised to find somebody like this exists.
 
Picklechu said:
I just noticed that this video (one of his two announcement videos; I don't think they're the same event, though, but I've only watched each one once so far) has about 15,000 views, while his other four have between 26 and 131 views. I'm guessing he paid for views. :lol:

It's also interesting that in both of the announcement videos, he starts out with the "they say that only failures become revolutionaries" line from his mental breakdown email.
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Errm... this flag hanging over the front of his desk seems to look like... well... um...
 
Augustus Gloop Infarctus said:
I am of genius intellect & cultured, well-educated & creative, well-mannered & refined. I am God’s gift to humankind where the English language is concerned, and I also happen to have a basic knowledge of Latin, Greek, French, Spanish, and Italian. I am musical & artistic; I am athletic & possessed of militant self-discipline; and I am many other things. I have a Cadillac & a poodle, multiple computers & a personal library; I live in an apartment downtown, right across the street from the courthouse; I have been to Paris & Vancouver, to Cairo & Dubrovnik, to Mexico City & Siracusa. I dress better than all of you, pronounce my words perfectly, and have a winning, professional handshake. I am everything you ever wanted to be.
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Is it just me or does this sound very much like the self-characterization of a Supreme Gentleman?
 
In re: Operation Flaming Lips

The next day, this was followed up by this picture on Instagram, which included a message to Miley Cyrus:

QIeuSSv.jpg

"
Hello,@mileycyrus . My name is Augustus, and I am a Floridian running for United States Senate. I read the recent article about you in Paper, which called you your "generation's most unlikely social activist, and also one of its most powerful." I am almost ten years older than you, so I don't know whether we are technically part of the same generation; but considering the many ways our politics align, I wanted to write to ask for your help.

Though I am not LGBTQ myself, my girlfriend is. (By the way, she wanted me to tell you she really wants to kiss you.) And though I am not homeless now, I have been twice before. I am a pagan and have taken heat for my religion, even from members of my own Party. Despite my membership in the Librtarian Party, I am pro-environment and pro-animal rights. And for reasons we will not discuss here, I am as pro-drug as they come.

I understand you don't want conservative fundamentalists making our laws. Neither do I. And when I was twenty-three I reckoned that the best way for me to fight them was to go into politics myself. Today I am hoping for a Summer Solstice miracle: that a twenty-something superstar and a thirty-something Senator might join forces and change the system from within and without. If you would be interested in doing that, I am very easy to find.

#PunkPolitics#HappyHippie#InvictusForSenate#BreakTheInternet#OperationFlamingLips

P.S. I love your cover of Led Zeppelin's "Babe, I'm Gonna Leave You." Don't listen to the haters."

On the same day as the above Instagram post, he posted his newest "fireside chat" in which he talks about drugs and the Drug War. He talks about his drug use and refers to himself as an "infamous genius," crediting drugs in part to making him who is is today (I agree). He changes the names of the people in his stories to those of people related to Malcolm X for extra edgy points.

This morning, he posted this on Facebook, complaining that people only know of him for his mental breakdown email, rather than his books, law review articles, poetry, and other writings:

"I have published five books, several law review articles, I-don't-know-how-many poems, and God-only-knows-how-many miscellaneous writings. And yet my best known writing is a two-page letter (not even close to my best), simply because people thought I was about to go on a shooting rampage. Dylan Roof murders nine people, and half of America has read his half-ass blog.

Look in the mirror if you want to know what's wrong with America"
 
Picklechu said:
"I have published five books, several law review articles, I-don't-know-how-many poems, and God-only-knows-how-many miscellaneous writings. And yet my best known writing is a two-page letter (not even close to my best), simply because people thought I was about to go on a shooting rampage..."
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Gee, I wonder which one people would pay more attention to...
 
New Fireside Chat. The accent is especially exaggerated in this one.
Notable is that he defends Saddam Hussein, the Iranian regime, and ISIS. He finds "modern attacks on the Confederacy to be juvenile at best and viciously hypocritical at worst." In addition, he "can appreciate that dictatorship and desert brutality in a distant land are beautiful things."

Invictus has also called for a boycott of Wal-Mart, eBay, Amazon, Apple, and Sears.
Augustus Sol Invictus said:
I hereby call for a boycott against Wal-Mart, Ebay, Amazon, Apple, and Sears Holdings Corporation. Wal-Mart recently banned the sale of the Confederate flag. Ebay, Sears, K-Mart, Amazon, Apple, and a host of others have followed suit.

But what else is to be expected from companies that profit from the wage slavery of illegal immigrants; that destroy small businesses across the globe; that promote such rabid consumerism that their Black Friday sales have literally led to death by stampede? Do we expect billion-dollar corporations to be heroic? Do we expect them to champion freedom of speech when it is far more appealing to the consumers to be politically correct?

Wal-Mart banned the sale of the Confederate flag, and yet it still sells guns. Ebay banned the sale of the Confederate flag, and yet it still sells Nazi memorabilia. Apple banned all apps with the Confederate flag, and yet you can still buy Confederate Railroad albums on iTunes.

You have all become the pawns of a mindless fad; and yet you think yourselves educated on history. Allow me to point out to you your unwitting hypocrisy:

President Woodrow Wilson, a Democrat, praised the truth of the film The Birth of a Nation, which was screened at the White House, and which glorified the Ku Klux Klan as the saviors of a defeated South. The President said, “My only regret is that it is all so terribly true.” Tell me, history lovers, should we not ban the Democratic Party, with its racist legacy? How could Hillary Clinton, a Presidential Candidate, support a Party with such hateful roots? Would she be the next Woodrow Wilson?

It was the American flag that flew over the Trail of Tears when the United States Government relocated the Native Americans. It was the Stars and Stripes flying when Japanese-Americans were put into concentration camps in World War Two. Tell me, history lovers, should we not ban the American flag, with its racist legacy? How could any American support a flag with such hateful roots? Do you all want to murder Native Americans?

It was the Federal Government itself that condoned slavery; that took from the American Indians all the land between the Atlantic and Pacific; that lent military support to its corporations to raid Central and South America. Should we not bring an end to such a racist country? Its leaders and its legacy, its institutions and its ideology, are racist, racist, racist. The racist Constitution itself was written by racist slaveowners who thought that the only people who should be allowed to vote were racist white males who owned property.

So let’s ban the Democratic Party, the American flag, and the Constitution, and let’s change the name of the United States of America to the Tolerant States of Happyland, which couldn’t possibly offend anyone.

This was Wal-Mart’s rationale when it banned the Confederate flag. Its spokesman remarked, “We never want to offend anyone with the products we offer.” When Ebay banned the sale of the Confederate flag, it stated that it has “become a contemporary symbol of divisiveness and racism.” But who made it into such a symbol? Southerners – or the Yankees who despise them? Dylan Roof – or the millions of hysterical Americans looking for something to blame for his actions?

The Confederate flag is to us Southerners a symbol of rebellion against tyranny. It is the symbol of a people who believe in freedom and clean air. It is the symbol of our home, our land, our childhoods and our ancestry. It is a symbol of bayous and defiance, of Southern belles and Southern drawls. It is at once wild and aristocratic. And whether as a private Floridian or a United States Senate Candidate, I will support it.

To this end, I hereby call for a boycott of Wal-Mart Stores, Ebay, Amazon, Apple, and Sears Holdings Corporation. Until these companies lift their ban on the Confederate flag, let no American support their disdain for free speech by purchasing their products or becoming patron to their stores. Being worshipers of money, they do not understand honor, dignity, or freedom – but they do understand a decline in sales and a dwindling market share.
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