🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon, alleged rapist and revenge pornographer. Exiled in Mexico carlesss on a diet of slop. Has triple titties. Wanted to fuck Keffals' moobs.

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adezero said:
He wanted to get at Nora. My previous relationship ending probably made it easier, but idk if Ralph’s that calculated.
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The only thing Ralph is capable of calculating is the exact change needed for a bottle or makers mark.

Gaydur, I need me another 25 cents Gaydur. Quick, cash in some lemons.
 
WeWuzFinns said:
Ralph's biggest problem is that he attempts to imitate Dax's hedonism and degeneracy, but lacks the cunning and wile required to walk the walk. PPP and people from this thread are quite right to say that Ethan sees Dax as his father figure. This is most likely because Ralph never really had a father.
Ethan should try to get some more down to earth and wholesome role model, who rejects hedonism and embraces duty. If he fails to change his goals, he is going to stop his pig heart by mixing alcohol, drugs and young thots.
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It doesn't help that he's trying to take a page out of the book of someone who's in a position to financially support his hedonistic lifestyle. If Ralph wants to live that kind of lifestyle, he needs to take a page out of Patrice O'Neal's book and develop a good sense of humor and magnetic personality to justify his confidence. As he is now, the only women he can attract are ones who have literally no frame of reference when it comes to picking a good partner.
 
Damn this thread is almost as coruplent as the gunt; yet the difference is there's some substance here unlike trr gossip rags.
Ralph seems mad people can gossip without his approval or blessing or editing. E.g. horror stories from the Ralph retort forum back when Josh tried to help him out.
 
adezero said:
What a fucking asshole.

Hey Faith, I know you’re reading this. Did you know your man was trying to hit me up for a threesome with you about a week ago?
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Are you sure it was meant to be with Faith? Up until you were skeptical and he got defensive it doesn't neccessarily seem to have been meant to be with two women.
WeWuzFinns said:
Ralph's biggest problem is that he attempts to imitate Dax's hedonism and degeneracy, but lacks the cunning and wile required to walk the walk.
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If by 'cunning and wile' you mean 'money and talent'..
Superman93 said:
Answer the penis question ade, the farms needs to know!
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It's not really the penis that's the interesting question- it's how much of it he still has to work with after it's unfolded itself from his flaps.
 
adezero said:
What a fucking asshole.

Hey Faith, I know you’re reading this. Did you know your man was trying to hit me up for a threesome with you about a week ago? I wasn’t interested, but I thought you might like to know.

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Truly the Ralphamale move to wait <60 seconds after asking before panic-defaulting to "hahahah so random amirite?"

Also, what's the interior of Ralph's house like? Is it as cluttered/dilapidated as it seems from the outside? It might prove valuable in case Mr Vickers needs to pull off a Zero-Gunt-Thirty raid to bring Faith home.

3119967d0c said:
Are you sure it was meant to be with Faith? Up until you were skeptical and he got defensive it doesn't neccessarily seem to have been meant to be with two women.
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Might well have been that Ralph wanted to help based oldestfag Gator pop his cherry.
 
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adezero said:
He wanted to get at Nora. My previous relationship ending probably made it easier, but idk if Ralph’s that calculated.
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He wanted to get at Nora?

NOW WAIT A MINUTE RALPH, NO! You acted like the divorce was amicable. You even had Nora on after it was announced. Why would you want to get at Nora? Hmmm, maybe because she broke up with you after finding out you cheated on her? And how dare she not be ok with you cheating on her right? You're the Ralphamale.
 
Amongst all of his funny bull shit spergery, does anyone else want to be set on fire when he laughs? It might be the worst laugh in history
 
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NB: Bitly URL just takes you to the permalink for Adezero's post.
 
Magic Sun Daddy said:
It doesn't help that he's trying to take a page out of the book of someone who's in a position to financially support his hedonistic lifestyle. If Ralph wants to live that kind of lifestyle, he needs to take a page out of Patrice O'Neal's book and develop a good sense of humor and magnetic personality to justify his confidence. As he is now, the only women he can attract are ones who have literally no frame of reference when it comes to picking a good partner.
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To be fair Dax is in the same boat when it comes to partners
 
All becomes gunt said:
My god he has grown huge. Can you just imagine how many lumps and folds and contortions the gunt has now? Faith hopefully releases the new gunt footage
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She's never seen him naked below the neck, he's probably blindfolding her and fucking her through a hole in a sheet to hide his shame.
 
twozero said:
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NB: Bitly URL just takes you to the permalink for Adezero's post.
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I was gonna bring it up because most people seemed to have missed it, but with the line "hahaha the absolute state of myself" . Ralph seems to become self aware for a second and realises how much of a retarded degenerate he is, especially when he should be working. He really does text/write like a hoirny teenager.
 
TheGoyTism said:
Amongst all of his funny bull shit spergery, does anyone else want to be set on fire when he laughs? It might be the worst laugh in history
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Ive tried for a long time to put into words the auditory quality that makes it so terrible, his voice is this weird mush, its not really high pitched but its almost worst, its like someone took the piercing nature of a high pitched voice and had it piggyback on the ear permeating slow worming/ ear boring quality of a deeper voice. the worst isnt even his laugh though its when he says words like "zoo-mer girls"
 
Null said:
His laugh is tolerable by itself but when he's with co-hosts who fake laugh with him it's insufferable.
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I hope you thank Corona chan for keeping you out of dicks clutches. You would have been forced to defend the gunt and dick the last 6 months without her.
 
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