Cringiest thing you did as a teenager

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Whenever I wanted to avoid talking to someone that was clearly about to talk to me I would quickly tell them about this one time that I microwaved a live cat. Granted, I never actually microwaved a cat, but they didn't know that.
 
Middle school 8th grade trip to a summer camp before it was open for the summer season and I brought a Jason mask and costume to freak people out with. Yes even back then I was a sperg for the man behind the mask and it made me something of an outcast given I went to a black ghetto school.
 
When I was 13 I asked my dad to buy me Mangekyo Sharingan contact lenses. He said no and told me I wasn't allowed to watch anime anymore.
 
I asked my dad if I could buy explicit lesbian art when I was 12. He told me no.
 
I had sex with a girl that i'd been dating for about a month, who I'd asked out after meeting her at band camp despite not even knowing her b/c all my friends had girlfriends and i wanted to be cool.

I bragged about this to anyone who would listen.
 
Everything I did from age 12 to age 18. There is no doubt in my mind that I was/am someone's personal lolcow.
 
13 or 14 yrs old. Bought an English-Japanese dictionary to swoon the qt Japanese exchange student in my art class. Opened with a few awkward, stutter-filled greetings, followed by five mins of silence, and ended with asking her if they eat dog in Japan.
 
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Most of my teen years was pretty much an iamverysmart phase. Here’s some notable examples:
  • I once thought that the word “tortellini” meant “little tortoise”, and I confidently told this to an entire class at school
    • It actually means “little cake”
  • I once prided myself in understanding basic physics, thinking that I’d impress one of my crushes. It was just about how weight and acceleration are related
  • I repeated Newton’s Laws ad naseum at an amusement park one time while on the rides
  • I spoke very broken Spanish to anyone that would listen, to people that didn’t want to speak Spanish. This then turned into cringy monologues of describing what people were doing in broken Spanish
  • I tried to make statistics on the amount of trick-or-treaters one year while handing out candy. I was the sperg with a notebook trying to just tally stuff that I could have figured out with just observation
There’s probably more that I’ve missed, but this is all I can think of.
 
Piercing my eyebrow at 13 with a large safety pin already knowing I had a slight metal allergy.
 
Me and my friends started a punk band in high school. We wrote 3 songs that were nonsense, other than that we just played GG Allin songs. We played only one show.

Actually, that wasn't really cringey...that was actually pretty cool.
 
I took ballroom class in the vain hope I would get a girlfriend (attended an all-boys school). It fixed my psychology concerning girls but no luck.

I took a date to my graduation dinner but that was mostly pragmatism and I haven't spoken to that girl since the opening of that dinner (Shame too, she was very pretty and is now a champion-level ballroom dancer).
 
I made halo 2 tribute videos with nickleback songs

When I was around 15 or so I tried making my own DBZ AMV and for some autistic reason I thought that Eminem's music was the perfect fit. This was way back in the pre-YouTube days so I uploaded the video on Kazaa or some shit. My family computer was ill-equipped for editing videos so imagine watching a bunch of grainy and super pixelated DBZ clips set to Sing For the Moment by Eminem that was made in Windows Movie Maker circa 2003. I still cringe like fuck when I think about that.
 
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I used to dress like a faggot in public. I had multiple pairs of skinny jeans which were each a different color including a green pair and I wore nothing but skin tight tank tops and and t-shirts. At one point I cut a "sexy" notch into my eyebrow and started wearing a skeleton mask bataclave as a beanie with those fingerless skeleton gloves because I realized people were really receptive to it. Looking back I just shudder at how gay I was.
 
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