🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon, alleged rapist and revenge pornographer. Exiled in Mexico carlesss on a diet of slop. Has triple titties. Wanted to fuck Keffals' moobs.

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JiggerNew said:
Anybody find it suspicious that keem is joining storyfire too or am i reaching?
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Gfuel sponsorship incoming?
Never Scored said:
Do storyfires of you watching Ralph's storyfires and try make more than him.
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That's an interesting twist to the otherwise cancerous commentary/reaction genre, anyway, that'd be quite tiresome to do for his 22 minutes long video in which he eats some food and drinks beer to show how much of a king he is to us his haters.
 
Not sure if anyone's made this observation before but these storyfire videos are straight out of Nabokov's Lolita. What's with middle aged men taking their child bride on road trips?

The only difference is he doesn't love you Faith. FAITH COME HOME!
 
LADIES AND GUNTLEMEN A-LOGS WON, CHANNEL REINSTATED
THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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Nigel of Ukip said:
What do you mean he doesn't care about her, Bryan? Didn't you see the fatherly joy he showed when she made that poster for him? And now he's taking this 10/10 18 year old prime bird to galleries and road trips.
But mate yeah, it's such a shit tier move on Ralph's end to mess up her life in such a manner.

I like the point you made previously about the islamic wedding, and I hope some more information about Ralph and Nora shows up aswell.
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Ya there is no way they officially got married if she was for sure Islamic. He would have to convert and gifts to the father would be needed plus many many things must happen to have the wedding Ordained. Ralph is gonna probably try to walk back his Nora sperging somewhat I suspect.

gran_autismo said:
Truth is we may never know if they were married or if they divorced until the 2040s.
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No we simply all just need to collectively post about those documents being fake repeatedly here and Ralph will make some stupid ass tweet to "prove the alogs wrong" or literally show some shit on his stream tonight to "blow us the fuck out AUGHHHH".

I've seen MANY people here gloat about making a post asking Ralph to show something like a real His & Her meal or clean plates or some shit and he fucking actually does it out of spite to own us.

@theralph just show the marriage license and divorce papers you should have in your possession. Just BTFO us :story:
 
Bryan Dunn said:
No we simply all just need to collectively post about those documents being fake repeatedly here and Ralph will make some stupid ass tweet to "prove the alogs wrong" or literally show some shit on his stream tonight to "blow us the fuck out AUGHHHH".

I've seen MANY people here gloat about making a post asking Ralph to show something like a real His & Her meal or clean plates or some shit and he fucking actually does it out of spite to own us.

@theralph just show the marriage license and divorce papers you should have in your possession. Just BTFO us :story:
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He's too cheap to buy proper alcohol, I don't see him spending $100 to make Nora an honest woman. hell I don't see him spending $100 on a decent hotel room so they can fuck without his mom's vital monitor beep-beep-booping in the background (maybe a motel 6 or shitty ramada or something). Typical hood rich bullshit blowing money on phones and tickets to WWE shows and not on things that matter like getting married, not getting your house repossessed, ceramic plates, etc.
 
gran_autismo said:
He's too cheap to buy proper alcohol, I don't see him spending $100 to make Nora an honest woman. hell I don't see him spending $100 on a decent hotel room so they can fuck without his mom's vital monitor beep-beep-booping in the background (maybe a motel 6 or shitty ramada or something). Typical hood rich bullshit blowing money on phones and tickets to WWE shows and not on things that matter like getting married, not getting your house repossessed, ceramic plates, etc.
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You underestimate the power of his pettyness. If he thinks it'll own those dirty A-logs, he will do some dumb petty shit just for that sake alone.
 
LordOdin said:
I never actually followed you besides knowing jim laughed at you once but what did ralph do to you to get you so pissy?


@Jester69 same goes for you why do you have a hate boner for the gunt?
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He did a number on pretty much everyone in Gamergate. Ralph is the guy everyone hated back then.
 
Love_Machine011 said:
Ralph sure has nice things to say about a woman "he still loves"!

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High Tea said:
How on earth does Andy make more money? It's just forced laughter, 10 year old jokes and imitating more famous comedians. Do people really pay for a damaged person to poorly imitate comedians?
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Andy's an idiot but he's a relatively benign one compared to Ralph. I could see a certain type of woman throwing money at him.

Ningen said:
Can't wait to read your next effortpost my man, but take it easy, there are more important things in life.
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No there aren't.

Null said:
fuck maybe I should join storyfire. Would you guys watch my video of me drunkenly wandering around a Serbian museum pointing at paintings of Nikola Tesla and going "wow this is cool this is really cool wow lotta cool stuff in here glad it got suggested to me"
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That'd be fascinating, to be honest.
 
I have finished the storyfire archive program I was working on, and thought I would share it. if this is of no interest to you just move along and rate me autistic. if you need any help you can pm me, or im sure several others will help you too in the tech support forum.

The program follows the naming standard of @Psicopax so if youre familiar with his youtube-dl config you'll recognize this naming standard.

you just run this program once a day, once an hour if you like. and itll download all the videos off ralphs storyfire

you need to install youtube-dl into python if you havent already
you do that by typing:
pip install youtube_dl

you copy everything from the code below and name it whatever.py then you just run the file and it will create a folder and a textfile called:
Ethan Ralphs Storyfire Archive
EthanRalphsStoryfireArchive.text

the textfile is to ensure you dont download the same video several times.
Python: 
from __future__ import unicode_literals

import datetime
import json

import requests
import youtube_dl

url = 'https://storyfire.com/app/publicVideos/zXFk00jJiQdROWr1kgukFVFZRi52?skip=0'
response = requests.get(url)
json_data = json.loads(response.text)

class MyLogger(object):
    def debug(self, msg):
        pass
    def warning(self, msg):
        print(msg)
    def error(self, msg):
        print(msg)

def my_hook(d):
    if d['status'] == 'finished':
        print('Done downloading, now mergning ...')

def planB(videoIdentifier):
    open("EthanRalphsStoryfireArchive.txt", "a")
    with open('EthanRalphsStoryfireArchive.txt') as data:
        datafile = data.readlines()
    found = False
    for line in datafile:
        if videoIdentifier in line:
            return True
    return False


for attrs in json_data['videos']:
    videoId = attrs['_id']
    videoTitle = attrs['title']
    if planB(videoId):
        print(videoTitle + ' has already been downloaded')
    else:
        open("EthanRalphsStoryfireArchive.txt", "a").write(videoId+'\n')
        videoUrl = attrs['vimeoVideoURL']
        videoDuration = str(attrs['videoDuration'])
        videoPublishDate = datetime.datetime.fromtimestamp(
            int(attrs['publishDate'])).strftime('%m%d%Y')
        ydl_opts = {
            'format': 'bestvideo[ext=mp4]+bestaudio[ext=m4a]/bestvideo+bestaudio/best',
            'outtmpl': 'Ethan Ralph Storyfire Archive/'+videoPublishDate+' - '+videoTitle+' - ('+videoDuration+'s) [%(resolution)s].%(ext)s',
            'writethumbnail': 'true',
            'verbose': 'true',
            'logger': MyLogger(),
            'progress_hooks': [my_hook],
        }
        with youtube_dl.YoutubeDL(ydl_opts) as ydl:
            ydl.download([videoUrl])
else:
    pass
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We all like to mention that Ethan Ralph, alt-right larper indeed is a race mixer. But no one seems to mention that he also married a bisexual. I wonder how Nora would have fun with her girlfriends while she was "married".

inb4 all woman are bisexual
 
Gustav Schuchardt said:
Tea Clips - Ralph blames liking chat for his divorce. His marriage to Nora doesn’t count becau...mp4
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Look at this fat sloth talking about how Nora is going to hell when he's a drunkard engaging in an adulterous affair, pilled out of his mind, laughing at people being murdered, but trying to act like just because he pantomimed a few masses in the fifth grade he's guaranteed a ticket to heaven. His father rotted away on the floor of some hellhole for weeks before he even knew he'd died, his mother is disintegrating right in front of his eyes and he treats her like shit. He envies everything Dick has, he vists wrath upon friends that crack jokes because it shatters his brittle ego.

He's the seven deadly sins made flesh.
 
Null said:
fuck maybe I should join storyfire. Would you guys watch my video of me drunkenly wandering around a Serbian museum pointing at paintings of Nikola Tesla and going "wow this is cool this is really cool wow lotta cool stuff in here glad it got suggested to me"
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you have to do it now, or youre gay
 
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