🪦 Deceased Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[Um Oh Ah Yeah]

I don't want to sound petty, but that is a really really gay signature

...we have signatures?!!

 

[nohull]

Even his signature is lazy as fuck, just a huge R, this is poetic.

 

[Marissa Moira]

And here's where I come in.

Original McMansion purchased May 2003. If you wonder why "asp" is written in the deed, it just means "a single person." This was later sold June 2008 to a Joshua B. Maggart and his sister Jessica Kyanka. I've attached the original deed.

Edit: Oh yeah, if any of you want to know what Rich's signature looks like:

View attachment 1425839

looks like a dick and balls.

 

[wreddit]

Nothing is ever, ever his fault.

This may have been posted before, but it's a chatlog from former frontpage writer g0m talking to Lowtax about 1000$ in unpaid wages.

One thing I've learned is that if you meet someone who says some variation of "Everyone I get close to ends up betraying me for some reason"

 

[AnOminous]

So much shit. People (And Lowtax) knew for ages what shmorky was up to. Lowtax just DID NOT care. He didn't give a shit. He banned people on the forums for talking about it!

Low-T only cared about it when it started impacting him personally, like having to listen to his screechy lunatic voice.

One thing I've learned is that if you meet someone who says some variation of "Everyone I get close to ends up betraying me for some reason" you need to run far, far away because that person is almost certainly the cause of all their own problems. The "betrayals" are usually something like calling them out on their shit, cutting the crazy person out of their life, or just disagreeing with them about something. Then the Cluster B kicks in and that former best friend is now ultra-Satan and needs to be sent death threats.

I klurfed myself today, to see if I still feel.

This may have been posted before, but it's a chatlog from former frontpage writer g0m talking to Lowtax about 1000$ in unpaid wages.

View attachment 1426175

View attachment 1426176



https://youtube.com/watch?v=DxWkfJ4uvV0

What is there to "figure out" about "you owe me $1,000 where is my fucking money you loser?"

 

[Beavis]

The patreon is up $2! The comeback begins!

 

[proteus4994]

The patreon is up $2! The comeback begins!

Bah, Goldbelly won’t even let you lick the floor for $2

 

[Coolio55]

And here's where I come in.

Original McMansion purchased May 2003. If you wonder why "asp" is written in the deed, it just means "a single person." This was later sold June 2008 to a Joshua B. Maggart and his sister Jessica Kyanka. I've attached the original deed.

Edit: Oh yeah, if any of you want to know what Rich's signature looks like:

View attachment 1425839

That's the signature of someone who's had to sign shitloads of forms. (Source: I know a lawyer with exactly that level of signature.)
Do they make you give signatures for drugs in america?

This may have been posted before, but it's a chatlog from former frontpage writer g0m talking to Lowtax about 1000$ in unpaid wages.

View attachment 1426175

View attachment 1426176



https://youtube.com/watch?v=DxWkfJ4uvV0

This is g0m now btw. The something awful metamorphosis works it's magic on another soul!

 

[Baguette Child]

You forgot Eve Online

I didn't forget EVE Online. Goons effectively ruined what might have been an otherwise okayish space game for years on end. The worst part is that they didn't even do it in a funny way- They just made the whole thing suck for everyone involved, including them.

 

[PTNR 2.0]

This may have been posted before, but it's a chatlog from former frontpage writer g0m talking to Lowtax about 1000$ in unpaid wages.

View attachment 1426175

View attachment 1426176



https://youtube.com/watch?v=DxWkfJ4uvV0

I know of at least 4 or 5 former SA writers other than g0m who stopped writing solely because the minuscule, pissant, not-even-worth-it-when-they-were-on-time paychecks dried up with no warning from Lowtax and no resolution. Thankfully most were owed in the ballpark of, or less than, 100 dollars iirc before they stopped working for free and wrote it off.

Really sucks for g0m since 1000 bucks isn't fuck-around money, but also I feel like there really should have been a point way, way before it got that bad, given how little Lowtax pays/article, where he should have stopped until his back wages were honored. Glad he got 500 of it, but goon sentimentality and reverence for Lowtax absolutely helped fuck him out of the other 500.

 

[AnOminous]

I know of at least 4 or 5 former SA writers other than g0m who stopped writing solely because the minuscule, pissant, not-even-worth-it-when-they-were-on-time paychecks dried up with no warning from Lowtax and no resolution. Thankfully most were owed in the ballpark of, or less than, 100 dollars iirc before they stopped working for free and wrote it off.

Literally what that fat drugged up cunt spent on a single Goldbelly pie.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

This may have been posted before, but it's a chatlog from former frontpage writer g0m talking to Lowtax about 1000$ in unpaid wages.

View attachment 1426175

View attachment 1426176



https://youtube.com/watch?v=DxWkfJ4uvV0

Speaking of unpaid front page writers, is Zach Parson’s fat ass still haunting SA? Is he still living on Fistgirl’s dime? Did he just ghost SA or was their some nasty “fuck you pay me” or political drama?

I keep expecting ElPintoGrande to turn up on an episode of My 600 lb Life.

Lowtax strikes me as the type to pay writers via favoritism, writers he liked or who kissed his ass were more likely to get paid occasionally than ones that didn’t kiss the ass properly. I figure Zach got paid more often than most for that reason.

 

[PTNR 2.0]

Speaking of unpaid front page writers, is Zach Parson’s fat ass still haunting SA? Is he still living on Fistgirl’s dime? Did he just ghost SA or was their some nasty “fuck you pay me” or political drama?

Still writing as of February of this year.

 

[AnOminous]

Speaking of unpaid front page writers, is Zach Parson’s fat ass still haunting SA? Is he still living on Fistgirl’s dime? Did he just ghost SA or was their some nasty “fuck you pay me” or political drama?

I keep expecting ElPintoGrande to turn up on an episode of My 600 lb Life.

Lowtax strikes me as the type to pay writers via favoritism, writers he liked or who kissed his ass were more likely to get paid occasionally than ones that didn’t kiss the ass properly. I figure Zach got paid more often than most for that reason.

He had something in January. https://www.somethingawful.com/author/12/

And he tweets.

The front page is fucking hilarious, and for all the wrong reasons. An apology to fucking furries. Anyone who apologizes to furries should fucking kill themselves. That fat fuck Malt Schlitzmann's deranged rant. Something about a Gundam.

Whatever the fuck this is: https://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/shitty-baby/

 

[PTNR 2.0]

Whatever the fuck this is: https://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/shitty-baby/

The only thing remarkable about this is that the writer may be the only active front page writer to not be a grotesque looking man in a dress.

Not that that's much of an improvement in his case.

 

[Ghostse]

The only thing remarkable about this is that the writer may be the only active front page writer to not be a grotesque looking man in a dress.

Not that that's much of an improvement in his case.

Enough moles he should be canceled for blackface.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

One thing I don't get (and maybe I missed it, if so mark me late), is about Logan's SA history. Wasn't her COO account reg date from within the last year? I swear I had read something about she lost her password or something to her original account, but I don't remember ever seeing a history of her (supposed) old posts. For someone who grew up with SA, that seems odd.

 

[Sir Wesley Tailpipe]

One thing I don't get (and maybe I missed it, if so mark me late), is about Logan's SA history. Wasn't her COO account reg date from within the last year? I swear I had read something about she lost her password or something to her original account, but I don't remember ever seeing a history of her (supposed) old posts. For someone who grew up with SA, that seems odd.

She supposedly lost the credentials for her old account and figured her position would be best served with a fresh, new one.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

She supposedly lost the credentials for her old account and figured her position would be best served with a fresh, new one.

That just seems so off. Back in the day, reg dates were prestige on the forums, and half the reason the community doesn't want to modernize the software is they likely would lose that.

Either her old content was toxic, she was largely a lurker, or she never had one. It feels like someone would have tracked her old account down if it was up there, with or without garbage search.

 

[White Devil]

That just seems so off. Back in the day, reg dates were prestige on the forums, and half the reason the community doesn't want to modernize the software is they likely would lose that.

Either her old content was toxic, she was largely a lurker, or she never had one. It feels like someone would have tracked her old account down if it was up there, with or without garbage search.

I would hazard the guess that because she was so young, she never had one and didn't want to ask a parent to pay for one because then they'd wonder why their kid wants to be on a place called "Something Awful". That would lead to investigation, and then she would definitely get told no. This is all just conjecture on my part.