🪦 Deceased Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

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AnOminous said:
This is what I find hilarious, this motherfucker's life is burning to the ground in front of him and I don't care if he's a fucking alcoholic, an even semi-functional drunk would sober up at least for a couple hours for a "please save my life" stream. What an absolute degenerate piece of shit.
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I read something ages ago about how Lowtax has always been very hard to work with, even when it comes to serious business, because he just can't turn "the funny" off.

And that's something you'll never un-notice. Lowtax seemingly stumbled into riches and fame, made a name for himself, helped mold the early days of internet culture, and had an army of sycophants under his thumb that defended him over damn near anything. He seemingly had the blessing of invincibility just like DSP, but STILL managed to fuck it all up, and STILL makes a Kool-Aid Man joke because he's such a hopeless failure by nature.

If Lowtax's life were a video game, his player set the difficulty to Easy with all the cheats on, and did everything he could to fail as hard as possible, like some kind of crazy challenge run.
 
So the new lore is Logan was there as his carer because his parents couldn't come over due to covid.

They went into detail about the backhand incident and the glaring part of that is the guy who is in a 'dead sleep' and bedridden with a crumbling spine suddenly leaps from his bed like Grandpa Joe. But NOT to hit Logan, just to er... knock over a child's desk and then fall asleep again.
At that point the host suggests it would have been justified to hit her which I thought was a clever detective style line to elicit a confession but after watching the rest I think those guys are just into the idea of hitting women.

He also seems to be seriously considering the offer for his site, which he said would be enough money to get back on his feet or something.

Oh the one non-softball was bringing up the text message to his daughter but Lowtax did a classic non denial and said it's off topic and he can't address that.
 
Toshiba said:
So the new lore is Logan was there as his carer because his parents couldn't come over due to covid.

He also seems to be seriously considering the offer for his site, which he said would be enough money to get back on his feet or something.
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Why does he need a carer? Is his spine that bad? Why couldn't his parents come over? Don't they live nearby?

If he sold the site I wonder how quickly he would blow through the money. I wonder why his parents haven't set up a trust fund for him already. They should if they don't want to see their son on the street. Do they not realize that their son has been an unemployed loser for years? Should have stayed in college, huh?
 
Toshiba said:
He also seems to be seriously considering the offer for his site, which he said would be enough money to get back on his feet or something.
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Sure jan. By "get back on his feet" he means, that money will keep him in Goldbelly pies until his SSDI is approved.
 
Vivacious said:
Why does he need a carer? Is his spine that bad? Why couldn't his parents come over? Don't they live nearby?

If he sold the site I wonder how quickly he would blow through the money. I wonder why his parents haven't set up a trust fund for him already. They should if they don't want to see their son on the street. Do they not realize that their son has been an unemployed loser for years? Should have stayed in college, huh?
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They probably do. Their property had a beneficiary deed filed which takes effect upon both parents being dead, granted to the trustees of their family trust, which would obviously be Rich and his sister.
 
Vivacious said:
Why does he need a carer? Is his spine that bad? Why couldn't his parents come over? Don't they live nearby?

If he sold the site I wonder how quickly he would blow through the money. I wonder why his parents haven't set up a trust fund for him already. They should if they don't want to see their son on the street. Do they not realize that their son has been an unemployed loser for years? Should have stayed in college, huh?
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They probably have, allegedly his mother is a well off attorney.
 
Does anyone have a timeline for Lowtax?

1976 - Born to Richard Kyanka Sr and Carol Kyanka
~1994 - Graduates from Rockhurst Prepatory School (allegdly) a private Catholic high school and matriculates at Vanderbilt University but does not graduate
Between 1994 and 1999 - works at Planet Quake (?)
1999 - Founds Something Awful
2006 - Fights Uwe Boll

2019 - Starts Patreon to "save" the SA forum with over $10,000 in monthly donations at its peak

What else what be useful to put on a timeline? The mangosteen incident, his marriages, etc? Buying (renting?) a McMansion, the opening/closing of the SA office?

EDIT: Screen Shot 2020-06-28 at 6.55.06 PM.png

That's where I got the idea that LT went to Rockhurst fo HS. Not sure if true but it would be interesting if it were.
 
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Vivacious said:
Does anyone have a timeline for Lowtax?

1976 - Born to Richard Kyanka Sr and Carol Kyanka
~1994 - Graduates from Rockhurst Prepatory School (allegdly) a private Catholic high school and matriculates at Vanderbilt University but does not graduate
Between 1994 and 1999 - works at Planet Quake (?)
1999 - Founds Something Awful
2006 - Fights Uwe Boll

2019 - Starts Patreon to "save" the SA forum with over $10,000 in monthly donations at its peak

What else what be useful to put on a timeline? The mangosteen incident, his marriages, etc? Buying (renting?) a McMansion, the opening/closing of the SA office?
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His eventual livestreamed suicide
 
I have to imagine that this sale of the company is going to be a disaster. I am not a lawyer or anything, but I can't imagine that Lowtax has any proper accounting done for his company, and I have no idea how they are going to determine which assets are part of Something Awful LLC.

My assumption is that Richard just kept withdrawing cash from the business whenever he needed it, and didn't actually pay himself a proper salary, but I guess that is based on nothing except what I know about Lowtax and his shitty website.
 
Vivacious said:
Why does he need a carer? Is his spine that bad? Why couldn't his parents come over? Don't they live nearby?

If he sold the site I wonder how quickly he would blow through the money. I wonder why his parents haven't set up a trust fund for him already. They should if they don't want to see their son on the street. Do they not realize that their son has been an unemployed loser for years? Should have stayed in college, huh?
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No his depression and pill habit is bad, but if he doesn't have a "degenerative disc disorder...I mean disease" then he might be expected to do something instead of wallow all day in bed and eat pills. He's been riding the excuse for years and has strapped in 100% to keep going with it. Half of the Dick Show so far is boomer Lowtax whining about how bad his back is, he is a whiner par excellence. No wonder no one wants to be around him.

So Lowtax expects his Mom to take care of him, but because she couldn't then Logan could have the job? WTF? Lowtax just sits in his house all day with his bad spine, it's not like he's out all the time with buds exposing himself to covid-19. Pretty sure he and mom could be in a quarintine bubble together for all the interactions he has with others.

I'd be shocked if Jeff or anyone could mount near $50k for site. I'm sure they think they could crowd fund the money to offer lowtax but that would be an epic shit feast of in-fighting, moderation by super-committee of unfunny, butthurt faggots not to mention all the people refusing to ante up any money to give to wife beater Lowtax. Even if Lowtax got a check for $50k or so, he'd be living with mommy within a year or less.

Trip Chesterton III said:
I have to imagine that this sale of the company is going to be a disaster. I am not a lawyer or anything, but I can't imagine that Lowtax has any proper accounting done for his company, and I have no idea how they are going to determine which assets are part of Something Awful LLC.

My assumption is that Richard just kept withdrawing cash from the business whenever he needed it, and didn't actually pay himself a proper salary, but I guess that is based on nothing except what I know about Lowtax and his shitty website.
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This 100%. Only a bunch of grade-A morons would give Lowtax money for whatever "SA" is by a legal definition. It's just been his personal piggy bank for twenty years, not a fucking business.
 
Vivacious said:
Does anyone have a timeline for Lowtax?

1976 - Born to Richard Kyanka Sr and Carol Kyanka
~1994 - Graduates from Rockhurst Prepatory School (allegdly) a private Catholic high school and matriculates at Vanderbilt University but does not graduate
Between 1994 and 1999 - works at Planet Quake (?)
1999 - Founds Something Awful
2006 - Fights Uwe Boll

2019 - Starts Patreon to "save" the SA forum with over $10,000 in monthly donations at its peak

What else what be useful to put on a timeline? The mangosteen incident, his marriages, etc? Buying (renting?) a McMansion, the opening/closing of the SA office?
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You should do the women

Emily

Megan

Ash

Logan
 
Vivacious said:
Why does he need a carer? Is his spine that bad? Why couldn't his parents come over?
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COVID, GOD, weren't you paying attention?


lmao I literally watched that motherfucker launch out of his chair like a bullfrog on his stream just last night in his mad rush to show goons his ~totally wacko zany If YoU LoVe Me YoU'lL BuY Me~ (GOD that string of words infuriates me beyond belief for some reason) 90$/a dozen jelly cookies or whatever.
 
MirnaMinkoff said:
So Lowtax expects his Mom to take care of him, but because she couldn't then Logan could have the job? WTF? Lowtax just sits in his house all day with his bad spine, it's not like he's out all the time with buds exposing himself to covid-19. Pretty sure he and mom could be in a quarintine bubble together for all the interactions he has with others.
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If he has a back problem he has no problem whatsoever jumping up like a jack in the box to go put a shoe on his head, or grab a box of cookies to sperg at angrily.
 
Trip Chesterton III said:
I have to imagine that this sale of the company is going to be a disaster.
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Lowtax is very quick to start making promises to get the loud noises to stop, but actually sitting down and paying for legal drafts and starting the lengthy processes to move contracts, domain names, and business accounts over is a type of commitment that is way harder to get into. Unless Jeffery is paying Lowtax for his time there's no way he's going to do it.
 
northstar747 said:
You should do the women

Emily

Megan

Ash

Logan
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Logan is easy. He started seeing her around Thanksgiving of last year but I'm not sure how long they were in contact before then. She moved in May of 2020 despite the ongoing pandemic.

Ash - Canadian woman who moved to Missouri to be with Lowtax with many citizenship/residential issues. Seems to be a lifelong NEET. Lowtax has been involved with her since 2015. Moved out around Thanksgiving of last year and took her and Lowtax's daughter with her to a women's shelter with aid from Megan. Ongoing court case with Lowtax after he filed a divorce on December 13th, 2019.

Megan - Is a Chinese Christian schoolteacher with no internet presence currently. Not sure how he met her, but they married in 2005 as a shotgun wedding (?) and gave birth the same year. Was married with Lowtax up to 2013(?). Filed a DV claim against Lowtax after he choked her. They have two daughters.

Emily - LT broke up with her in 2003 and wrote a front page post about the experience. He talked about her recently on his Gaming Garbage stream noting that she was a lawyer in Portland with armpit hair.

Is Lowtax known to have dated anyone between founding SA and dating Emily?
 
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