Unfortunately I'm probably the "stereotypical" detransitioner: autistic (high-functioning) and lesbian, with childhood trauma. As for how I specifically got into trans stuff, surprisingly it wasn't online. I long felt out of place with other girls (and I went to an all girls Catholic school, and I was frequently called a dyke/les around 12 onward, so you can imagine how that went) and researched in the library LGBT stuff, because I was an autistic nerd who thought the library had all the answers. Found lesbian stuff but also transgender stuff, and I read up on it in some old children's psych book. I felt being a man would suit me better because I was a tomboy who played sports, liked women, and didn't give a shit about makeup, boys, etc. ("girl"things).
Didn't help that I grew up in a conservative Korean family, and that I was frequently singled out for being the only female child of a bunch of boys. My mom would, for instance, ask how could I call myself a girl because I wouldn't wear a dress or grow my hair out, too. I also received a lot of positive attention from girls when I presented as a boy, whereas they made fun of me for being les when I presented as a girl. It'd be more surprising if I didn't fall into wanting to be a boy at some point, to be honest.
I got into online trans circles (though it took me a while to get into Tumblr) around 2013 and from there I was a goner. Luckily my family was against it and didn't put me on T then, or I'd be fucked now. My bone structure and skull are still unaffected by T because I went on it past puberty, and I never underwent surgery so I'm lucky as far as detrans'ing goes.
I detransitioned because going on T, I still didn't feel right and was depressed, anxious, awkward. I felt like I was playing at being a man. Talking to other trans people, they would say it's imposter syndrome and to be more confident and explore my ~gender identity~ but I didn't feel
right. Eventually I found a gender critical subreddit and at first went through denial - "they're TERFs so they're wrong," "they don't know what it's like to be trans," "they're bigots," etc. Practically went through the five stages of grief. But it clicked. I believe for some people transitioning makes them happy, especially if they don't fit the gender roles of their sex, but I don't know if I believe the ~laydee brain~ thing, and a lot of the troubling stuff in the trans community is hard for me to ignore now.
I hope this was informative. Sorry for rambling!
