🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

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How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 27 1.0%

  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 147 5.3%

  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 382 13.8%

  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 555 20.1%

  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 425 15.4%

  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 329 11.9%

  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 205 7.4%

  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 696 25.2%
  • Total voters
    2,766
I am sure super rich young hot guys are already forming a queue line all around Jolene's house to get their white trash princess Tess.

That got to be the trashiest photo I have seen at least today. Reducing yourself to your udders is sooo liberating and female empowerment and all the other bullshit.

And her face looks so weirdly distrorted an insane lot of forehead going on. Not sure if Tess pulled a Chantal and fucked around with the aspect ratio of the picture or used her hair to cover the fatter parts of her face.

I mean okay, You could write a whole essay about Fat Girl Angle Shots on the art photo "Trashy fame whore rams her honkers into Your face."
 
This fat, stupid, child abandoning bitch is bragging on how Rylee is getting awards at school for academic performance since she left him with an old ex boyfriend - which is proof of what a great job she's doing, in her opinion! Oh, and she doxes the ex's (John) private Instagram.
Screenshot_20200503-110318_Chrome.jpg Screenshot_20200503-110336_Chrome.jpg Screenshot_20200503-110351_Chrome.jpg

This shit steams me. She can't let Rylee have one fucking achievement without her stealing his thunder because anything he does is because of her. How else is she supposed to soothe her ego when he starts thriving after she's out of his life?
 
Tomssu said:
Someone might be a bit thirsty...
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Yeah, Tessie, because dead, vacant eyes above two pendulous, half-gallon sacks of mayo are so alluring.

She doesn't see what a grotesque and unwitting parody of beauty and sensuality her pics are, and that the joke is entirely on her. Fortunately for us, her Narcissism will never let her see it.

That said, in all the years people have been taking selfies on their phones, I've never understood why so many insist upon taking them in their cars. Seriously, there's nothing sexy about your seatbelt, or the bland stock gray/taupe/black interior of your ride. GTFO of the car and go find a decent little bit of background; your minivan, especially with bog roll in the background, doesn't fucking cut it.

She is doing slightly better than most tatted-up white trash mamas who take pouty car-selfies with their fat boobs on display, however; Bowie's car seat isn't visible (nor is Bowie).
burntgrilledcheese said:
Please tell me she didn't go shopping in just a bra... And if she didn't why the fuck is she stripping in her car for Instagram?? Gross.
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I'm sure she had a shirt on, but she's over 400lbs and it's been hot in the LA area. If she went somewhere and got out of the car, she was probably dying by the time she got back, so she ditched the shirt to better cool her bulk in front of the car's AC. And when you're a melting deathpig reduced to sitting in your underwear to stave off heat prostration, why not take come-hither selfies of your sweaty fatbags, so you can pretend you're gorgeous and desireable and Living Your Best Life on Instagram?
 
I don't know if it's been discussed but the documentary Fatopia features discussion about Tess. One UK plus model out it succinctly: she's completely rotund.
So in true fat basic bitch form she's gotta flop out the puppies, or in her case basset hounds.
 
Tomssu said:
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Maybe I'm too old, but that mouthbreather pose is super annoying...
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Lol, she's "experimenting" with little to no makeup because, as I posted about previously, she has never picked up any practical beauty skill herself. So she's stuck with one of two hairstyles (high ponytail or flat ironed) and one makeup look with rotating colors of eyeliner or lipstick (foundation, mascara, winged liner, overdrawn lips).
 
GrouchiCorn said:
I was just about to say that. Bitch , close your mouth. ffs
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Tess is doing the tired trick of posing with her mouth open so her face will look more slender.

Bitch could open her mouth as wide as a cottonmouth snake and her face would still be as fat as sin.
 
Water-T said:
Tess is doing the tired trick of posing with her mouth open so her face will look more slender.

Bitch could open her mouth as wide as a cottonmouth snake and her face would still be as fat as sin.
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I always loved when she would try that face on a red carpet and all it did was make her look fat AND retarded.
Screenshot_20200503-123743_Chrome.jpg Screenshot_20200503-123811_Chrome.jpg
 
Can we talk about her jaundice colored eyeliner? That should not exist, but certainly not on a white woman.
 
burntgrilledcheese said:
Please tell me she didn't go shopping in just a bra... And if she didn't why the fuck is she stripping in her car for Instagram?? Gross.
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She has said before that bras as outerwear are her 'aesthetic' I think. I only remember because it was such a trashy thing to say that it stood out to me. I don't think she went out in just a bralette, but it's entirely possible and if called out she'd probably tell them off. It's a quarantine, so she'd probably hide behind that excuse.
multiverse said:
This fat, stupid, child abandoning bitch is bragging on how Rylee is getting awards at school for academic performance since she left him with an old ex boyfriend - which is proof of what a great job she's doing, in her opinion! Oh, and she doxes the ex's (John) private Instagram.
View attachment 1269319View attachment 1269320View attachment 1269321

This shit steams me. She can't let Rylee have one fucking achievement without her stealing his thunder because anything he does is because of her. How else is she supposed to soothe her ego when he starts thriving after she's out of his life?
Click to expand...
I fucking hate her. I hate parents who only have children to feed their narc supply and once that runs out they no longer care but will pretend to. And Tess, what have you done for Rylee? The best possible thing you can do for him is terminate your parental rights and stay out of his life.
Tomssu said:
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Maybe I'm too old, but that mouthbreather pose is super annoying...
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Still wanting a beauty brand Tess?

The minimal makeup really shows how bad she looks without it. Like, she's one of those people who needs makeup to not look sickly.
 
Tomssu said:
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Maybe I'm too old,...
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That's okay; so is Tess.

...but that mouthbreather pose is super annoying...
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It just makes her look even less intelligent than she really is. If she could manage to get some expression in her eyes beyond "lobotomized" or "zonked on pills," it would help. It's not a good look on Lana Del Rey, and it's always been a really bad one on her. But these days, with all the fillers and extra fat distorting her features, and the it almost makes her look Downs-y (and I hate even typing that because it's an insult to Downies).
 
The one thing she had ( and I am scraping the bottom of the barrel) was having a relatively thin face in comparison to the pile of dough body.
Now her face flabby/swollen like the rest of her.
 
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