🍗 Deathfat Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

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How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 27 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 147 5.3%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 382 13.8%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 555 20.1%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 425 15.4%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 329 11.9%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 205 7.4%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 696 25.2%

  • Total voters
    2,766
It doesn’t make sense to me why you’d drive from a city like LA that has amazing French bakeries to tiny town San Luis Obispo to get cake. She’s either seeing someone or trying to escape her kids, probably both.

Or she is simply that insanely shallow that she only buys a champagne cake from a hyped hotel, because in her distorted worldview it shows how sophisticated she is.

No matter what, to me it shows her decadency and everything wrong with Western society. Especially enhanced as she took a six hour drive during a time were needless travels are discouraged.
 
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Wow Tess you go girl!
Seriously though, she isnt threatening at all. Did she lose her balls in a farm accident?
I think she's acting very polite yet stern on her Twitter so she doesn't look like a bigot. According to her shitty autobiography, her husband accused her of fatphobia and a few others jumped on the bandwagon.
Worst read of my life. The sex scenes were disturbing.
 
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Wow Tess you go girl!
Seriously though, she isnt threatening at all. Did she lose her balls in a farm accident?
I think she's acting very polite yet stern on her Twitter so she doesn't look like a bigot. According to her shitty autobiography, her husband accused her of fatphobia and a few others jumped on the bandwagon.
Worst read of my life. The sex scenes were disturbing.

link?
 
Or she is simply that insanely shallow that she only buys a champagne cake from a hyped hotel, because in her distorted worldview it shows how sophisticated she is.

No matter what, to me it shows her decadency and everything wrong with Western society. Especially enhanced as she took a six hour drive during a time were needless travels are discouraged.

Bingo. Remember, Tess drove around 3 hours to go a gym simply because she knew that some celebrities worked out there and wanted to a chance to be "seen" with them. There are many, many gyms in her area that are a lot closer, but Tess HAS to drive for hours just for the mere chance to be seen working out with one of the former members of Destiny's Child (and to hit up all the fast food places on the way)

Tess is a basic bitch clout chaser, and would spare no effort or expense for any opportunity to get into a celebrity's orbit just so she can post on IG about how [x] and her are "BFFs 4 LYFE, Y'ALL!"
 
That cake makes absolutely no sense for a boy of 3. That cake was alllll about Tess. Young kids usually want a sheet cake with kiddie themes because they are kids. I think Tess bought that cake because she secretly wishes Bowie was a girl. Its her dream cake not his. I can definitely see her trying to bend his gender. Poor Bowie!
 
That cake makes absolutely no sense for a boy of 3. That cake was alllll about Tess. Young kids usually want a sheet cake with kiddie themes because they are kids. I think Tess bought that cake because she secretly wishes Bowie was a girl. Its her dream cake not his. I can definitely see her trying to bend his gender. Poor Bowie!
Bowie had absolutely nothing to do with her decision to buy that particular cake. Zero, zilch, nada. At no point did she consider whether he might like it.

Tess's decision to buy it was entirely about Tess, and what she wanted, and that her kid got any of it at all was only because you can't sit and eat cake in front of a toddler and refuse to give them any, even if you're sure they won't like it.

That said, I had no idea what was inside the Madonna Inn's version of a champagne cake before this, but now that I have I can see that it's as gross, tacky and overdone as the Inn itself--or Tess herself. Seriously, yuck. That's this deathpig's idea of heaven?
 
Bowie had absolutely nothing to do with her decision to buy that particular cake. Zero, zilch, nada. At no point did she consider whether he might like it.

Tess's decision to buy it was entirely about Tess, and what she wanted, and that her kid got any of it at all was only because you can't sit and eat cake in front of a toddler and refuse to give them any, even if you're sure they won't like it.

That said, I had no idea what was inside the Madonna Inn's version of a champagne cake before this, but now that I have I can see that it's as gross, tacky and overdone as the Inn itself--or Tess herself. Seriously, yuck. That's this deathpig's idea of heaven?
Champagne cake tastes like champagne. No child would WANT to eat it; it tastes a bit sour / like alcohol, on purpose. The frosting is supposed to offset the sour a little, but if you don't like the flavor of champagne, you will not like that cake.

So yeah. That cake was not her kid's cake. It was mommy's cake. Although I assume all cakes belong to mommy in that house.
 
Champagne cake tastes like champagne. No child would WANT to eat it; it tastes a bit sour / like alcohol, on purpose. The frosting is supposed to offset the sour a little, but if you don't like the flavor of champagne, you will not like that cake.

So yeah. That cake was not her kid's cake. It was mommy's cake. Although I assume all cakes belong to mommy in that house.
For how much sweets Tess seems to eat (I feel like every week she’s ordering desserts for herself) I’m surprised she hasn’t put on weight faster. I can’t imagine the amount of cavities she has, as well as the damage she’s done to Bowie’s teeth with her self-destruction.
 
Homeless, jobless, and driving six hours to buy an expensive cake? That’s our Tess.

Maybe a feeder client lives out there, who knows. Whatever the reason, we can rest assured it was a garbage reason.
I really wonder about this. She's apparently stayed at that particular inn so many times she's able to make room recommendations to people. Meeting a client would make a lot more sense than randomly driving 6 hours for a cake. It's not like she has some other kind of stable work out there that warrants staying with that particular inn all the time.
 
I really wonder about this. She's apparently stayed at that particular inn so many times she's able to make room recommendations to people. Meeting a client would make a lot more sense than randomly driving 6 hours for a cake. It's not like she has some other kind of stable work out there that warrants staying with that particular inn all the time.

Agreed. The cost of the drive, the cake, and a stay at the Inn combined is out of the budget of a washed up C-list model.

I also suspect that she went to meet a fat fetish paypig and the cake was a gift and part of the fetish.
 
Honestly, it's not uncommon for more successful models than Tess to supplement their income with working as escorts, so why would anyone think that Tess is above that? Unless you're Naomi Campbell you're not going to make big bucks from doing magazine covers either (not that Tess does them) and certainly not by modelling some shitty workout clothes brand for fatties on Instagram.

I guess the only thing that would point against her doing it would be that she appears to be dead-broke even if she's still pretending that they're just fumigating her apartment (or whatever lie she peddles).
 
Honestly, it's not uncommon for more successful models than Tess to supplement their income with working as escorts, so why would anyone think that Tess is above that? Unless you're Naomi Campbell you're not going to make big bucks from doing magazine covers either (not that Tess does them) and certainly not by modelling some shitty workout clothes brand for fatties on Instagram.

I guess the only thing that would point against her doing it would be that she appears to be dead-broke even if she's still pretending that they're just fumigating her apartment (or whatever lie she peddles).
Tess is easily one of those people where money just flows through her fingers. She could be making actual model money and have a sugar daddy and still be hard-up for cash.
 
Unless you're Naomi Campbell
Ahem. Campbell and other big name models have made side cash for YEARS on the party yacht circuit. They aren't being paid to just show up, either. When you get told old for frequent campaigns, that's where the money is gotten.

Now, Tess never modeled at the level of "make easy cash at Cannes". But "feeder pays to stuff her face and fuck a fold at a chintzy motel" is perfectly on the level.
 
I don't know all that much about this death fat - learned about her when she scored a few big name magazine covers. Nothing I've seen her from her social media here has an ounce of sincerity - of any realness. It's as if she's cast herself in essentially a one woman play where she's tripping gaily through life, not at all REALLY slowed down by things that grind we mere mortals down; like... pandemics.

As an actress, she sucks. Even the rawest to the industry learn that roles have context & she seems to have skipped that completely. The things I'm pretty sure really piss her, she slides over & makes her life seem to be all oat grass & sunshine; ridiculous cakes & an inflated idea of 'self care'.

She hasn't grasped that she's yesterday's news, has she; that whatever contracts she might have been able to score pre-pandemic are going to ride off into the sunset, in favour of the mewest media idol?

Fame is fleeting & fickle.
 
More photos of Tess's unfortunate younger son, who has certainly become what one would call a "husky" near four year old. Just because you have to shelter in place doesn't mean you can't play with your kid.

Oh, and she's clout chasing an F list child of a celebrity, Steven Tyler's non famous daughter, Mia; and remembering that one time she got close to Lizzo via Christian Siriano's ex husband.
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Anyone taken a look at the Madonna Inn's website? Jesus, I want to dump kerosene in every room and nuke the whole thing from orbit. It's like The (former) Gobbler and Don Q Inn had a rape baby, and our eyes are the victims.


Seems about right for Tess.
More photos of Tess's unfortunate younger son, who has certainly become what one would call a "husky" near four year old. Just because you have to shelter in place doesn't mean you can play with your kid.

Oh, and she's clout chasing an F list child of a celebrity, Steven Tyler's non famous daughter, Mia; and remembering that one time she got close to Lizzo via Christian Siriano's ex husband.
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'Super Mom' :story:
 
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