DSP's Hair Mega-Hyper-Ultra Thread - Patchy goatee talk included

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Say Hi and Bye to Phil's hair guys

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What the hell is happening? He always had a split there but now it's cut right through to the front of the hairline. How can he still claim this is the headphone's fault. It's 3 inches in front of the headphones.
 
LiquidCancer said:
View attachment 1216922
What the hell is happening? He always had a split there but now it's cut right through to the front of the hairline. How can he still claim this is the headphone's fault. It's 3 inches in front of the headphones.
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You don't know.
Maybe he wears his headphones in a manner they weren't designed for when he's not "working".

Didn't think about that, did you?
 
Kinda glad that I started going bald pretty early, just shaved it off and called it a day.

In regards to some of the guys hairline though, I haven't got a fucking clue what it's doing. Usually baldness follows some kind of pattern. Maybe it's decided to do whatever the hell it wants to see if it can be labelled as a detractor?
 
DampSoggyPanties said:
Kinda glad that I started going bald pretty early, just shaved it off and called it a day.

In regards to some of the guys hairline though, I haven't got a fucking clue what it's doing. Usually baldness follows some kind of pattern. Maybe it's decided to do whatever the hell it wants to see if it can be labelled as a detractor?
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I kinda noticed that the corners of my dome were creeping back little by little (as was normal in the males in my family...) but I also noticed that I was getting a little bit of the bird's nest action going on up top. Inquiring both parents, it's something that has happened to various males on my pop's side without much pattern to speak of.

Hair stuff is random. You can sort of predict it, but nothing is really certain. No amount of showering with selson blue is gonna change it.
 
Imagine being so insecure about a natural aging process that many go through in their lifetime. If he had shrugged his shoulders and said "Well I'm getting older dood, what can I say, shit happens" then laughed it off, this thread wouldn't exist. Instead, he concocted a story that defies basic human biology via his headset. Once again, Phil is his own worst enemy.
 
Umm, ok. Phil in this 2014 video says he knows his hair is fucked-up on the one side and that every year it recedes and he loses a bit more hair "it happens when you get old". Then he says he's grateful because he has 2 uncles who went bald in their 20's, I guess he's lucky they didn't pass their genes to him like that stupid bitch aunt who gave him gout. . .somehow, oh then he corrects himself it wasn't 2 uncles it was 2 cousins. Phil says this means he could have been bald in his 20's. "My mother's brother is bald and his 2 sons were bald in their 20's." wow I guess Phil is really lucky he's not his mother's brother's son. . .

Phil then says that his hair is receding because he would comb his hair with a part there, and because of the combing it would pull his hairs out and it wore down his hairline. So if you comb your hair with a part it will cause you to lose your hair permanently.
Timestamped @ 21m04s
Then suddenly 3 years later it was his mother's fault for combing his hair like that, his hair isn't receding whatsoever, his hairline is exactly the same as it's always been, he's NOT losing his hair, and he certainly doesn't have a much larger bald patch at the back of his head than he used to. Also he doesn't listen to any music.
Timestamped @ 2m30s
Also all his bald spots and receding hairlines were caused by his mother combing his hair. So by the time Phil was 15 his mother combing his hair caused his receding hairline and bald patch at the back. So from childhood to 15 Phil was going bald from his hair being combed and because of the location of the part in his hair. . .but in his 30's he has not lost 1 single hair, it's exactly the same for the last decade.
Timestamped @ 40m55s
"My mom combed my hair wrong, it stopped receding when I stopped combing my hair like that. You can see right here my hair is exactly the same, people are just idiots!"
Timestamped @ 29m21s
Phil says the reason 'idiots' think his hair has receded is because now he combs his hair back, and then when he had a buzzcut he combed his hair forwards, okaaaay? Also Phil looks younger now than he did 9 years ago.
Timestamped @ 50m10s
 
Going bald isnt that bad (unless its really early 20s, thats fucking rough), its part of aging. Shit I have a few grey hairs in my late 20s as do a few of my friends, not the end of the world.

Phil's problem is he's fat. There's a few photoshopped bald phil pics that make him look bad because weight. He needs to drop down to 180lbs minimum and hes not the 200 he claims he is (if he is, he looks awful for 200). If he lost weight, he would look better with shorter hair. A lot of people with hair loss start shaving their head.

Shit the guy is late 30s, by then a lot of men get some sort of hair loss (thinning, slower growth, grey/white hairs). He should just embrace ut
 
My hair loss was so bad that I had to shave my head two months before my 21st birthday. I felt bad about it because it's something you associate with being old(er), but positive feedback and getting used to it made the feeling go away fairly quickly. It's not the end of the world.

He should stop making excuses and buzz his hair.
 
Richard Harrow said:
Imagine being so insecure about a natural aging process that many go through in their lifetime. If he had shrugged his shoulders and said "Well I'm getting older dood, what can I say, shit happens" then laughed it off, this thread wouldn't exist. Instead, he concocted a story that defies basic human biology via his headset. Once again, Phil is his own worst enemy.
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Except that DSP is speedrunning the natural aging process. He looks 50 already.

I know construction workers and truck drivers who look much younger than him in their 40's. Real talk.

But I guess he'll just blame it on bugged genetics mechanics
 
Chaosbandit said:
You don't know.
Maybe he wears his headphones in a manner they weren't designed for when he's not "working".

Didn't think about that, did you?
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I honestly don't think DSP knows how to wear headphones.

Every time he puts on the cowboy hat, he puts the headphones entirely around his neck. Why can't he put them on his ears and wear them sideways? Did he even bother to give a "they're not confortable" explanation that I missed?
 
Salubrious said:
I honestly don't think DSP knows how to wear headphones.

Every time he puts on the cowboy hat, he puts the headphones entirely around his neck. Why can't he put them on his ears and wear them sideways? Did he even bother to give a "they're not confortable" explanation that I missed?
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I remember he did give some sort of excuse like that, and then gave a different excuse for why earbuds wouldn't work, that they're much more damaging to hearing than over-the-ear headphones, which is something there's been a lot of clickbait about over the years but not much evidence. At any rate, the hat is dead, it makes him too hot because don't you know that 80% of bodyheat transfer happens through the pores in your scalp (also a myth).
 
gettingthatgrooveback said:
Are hairdresser's and barbershops closed in WA? I can imagine pig moaning that he can't get his hair cut.
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Recently Phil says he hopes his hairdresser has enough money to get by during the lockdown. Also Kathy is not allowed to cut his hair, but also also if his hair gets too long Phil will just cut off the parts that are annoying him himself because he doesn't give a FUCK!
Timestamped @ 35m12s also at 40m40s he tells a ♿cheerer "I don't have a barber, I have a HAIRDRESSER."
 
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