I'm almost afraid to admit this, but I genuinely, unironically want the ranch to succeed. Ranching is hard work, but it's good, honest work, and it can inculcate so many positive values like initiative and self-sufficiency and self-respect that will benefit them immeasurably. So many troons don't have any ambitions beyond e-begging and creating drama on Twitter, but these troons have dedicated themselves to getting up early every day and making a go of it with their hands and their heads and their hearts, and I have so much respect for that.
And that's why Kevin makes me so MOTI. Here's this 32 year old manchild with no apparent skills or aptitude for anything, and yet he could so easily turn himself into a functioning, contributing member of society just by walking out into his own goddamn yard and building a fence, or repairing a barn, or feeding a bunch of grateful animals. And yet, while Penny and Bonnie and the others tweet about the ranch and what the move involves--and rarely tweet at all during working hours, it should be acknowledged--Kevin barely acknowledges the physical world around him at all, except to complain about what an inconvenience the move has been for him. Instead, he tweets constantly about his stinkditch, and children's toys, and how horny he is, and you would never know that he lives on
an actual alpaca ranch in the midst of some of the most breathtakingly beautiful scenery North America has to offer.
8:30 this morning, Kevin: your housemates were undoubtedly bundled up out in the cold (which would have been just above freezing) working hard to transform your new property into a safe and healthy home for the animals that will, in theory, ensure your livelihood for the foreseeable future. And what were you doing at that moment, Kevin? You were tweeting this:
“Welp, I'm gonna need to buy all of these https://t.co/XvUcaRb04T”
twitter.com
And I guess this is what makes me angriest of all: as much as I want the ranch to succeed, it's as if the troons themselves are throwing it in my face by allowing this contemptible potato to live in their home and consume their food while they spend all day working hard to sustain his pathetic manchild lifestyle. If they're just keeping him around as a fucksleeve (which,
puuuke), that's their right, but at the very least they could do him the favor of hauling him out into the field every morning to do his
goddamn chores and develop some
goddamn skills. He's so close to achieving adulthood, and yet they won't even give him that.
twitter.com
