So....due to a severe case of procrastination followed by a panicked period of OH SHIT, HALP, your most illustrious pink knitted pal has been AWOL and needs to catch up. I feel this can be facilitated most easily with a few questions and reading the minutes of the previous general meeting....what d'you mean, she ate them?
Point 1. Hello gorls. I missed you and I hope you are all still utterly vile.
Questions
1. Is our pet Cheesebeast free of cheese and down the expected 200lbs, freeing her beautiful butterfly self to be the wonderful person she truly is deep down and fulfil her destiny as the Next Grate Murcan Awfor via the riveting memoir "Amberlynn; the Life, the Legend, the Nosebag. Vol1, The Lardland Chronicles."
2. Has Thumbelina found a) a neck or b) a personality?
3. Is Erk now a fully functioning, useful member of society we are all proud to know?
4. Has his hair finally divorced him for a life of quiet retirement in the country, in the hope that, one day, the trauma can be overcome?
5. Has Ricky/ie got the memo that they are all just useless eaters - well, shovellers in Albert's case - and run off to NY to gay up a storm and take a different leather daddy home every night?
6. Have any of Big Albert's pets (except Erk's hair; see 3) above) kicked the bucket and did she even notice?
I fear the answers are a mix of "no," " fuck no" and " hahaha Clanger, don't be a spastic." Give me hope and encouragement, gorls, you know you're all gilded names in God's Little Book of Sunbeams.
Ps.
@SAVE TWINKIE! Oh jesus. Does this mean you're my boss now? Do I have to....
shudder....be nice to you*? Fuck.
*no, fuck no, and hahahaha.
Ps. Did I miss the annual newbie apocalypse? Please say no to that one, it's the highlight of my year.