Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

[Where Do You Find Them?]

Twitter / Account Suspended

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twitter.com

I dunno what else to say really. Came across him a week or so ago. Fair warning some of his weird photoshops include his incredibly ugly fat naked form.

 

[Pomniman]

We also find out that he is a member of the legendary /r9k/ tranny cult, and has said before that he is a friend of Reiko's.

Somehow this feels like the first time I've seen a post about this cult that doesn't make it sound like an urban legend of some sort. I've seen 4chan posts about it before in relation to that one kid who an heroed on livestream with a shotgun but a lot of what was said in those sounded really outlandish and it was hard to tell the au from the tism. I guess that can be chalked up to it primarily(?) being an /r9k/ thing, as I've never really been a fan of /r9k/ myself.

 

[Pissmaster]

I don't think they're particularly obscure, but I've never seen anyone point out Mega64's shit. Most people just watch them for their sketches, but they also have a very long running podcast where you really get to see what they're like as people.

I used to watch their podcast religiously, and it actually used to be pretty good. Just a chill chat with the boyz on HOT summer nights every week, and it was fun. The stories they told were pretty interesting, and even a lot of their life advice was stuff I took to heart that was really beneficial for me. It's not all worth a relisten or anything, but the podcast stayed pretty good until maybe around 2015.

The Mega64 boyz aren't young anymore - Rocco was born in December 1984, and the other guys were born sometime around then. Once they started hitting their 30s, it was pretty clear that Derrick and Shawn understandably weren't into it anymore, but I always got a sense that Rocco just has this really dominant personality that's held the group together, with Derrick and Shawn not leaving out of guilt, or something. Derrick wanted to go off and be a proper comedian, and Shawn now has a wife and kids to take care of. It became a running joke that Shawn was just so clearly not into it anymore and tried to cut the podcast as early as possible, along with how he'd just sit there brooding while Rocco talked a mile a minute about whatever PS3 game he was playing at the time, while the other guys just sat there going "yeah, yeah, mmmhmm".

I should state that Shawn's not a bad person at all. I can't remember anything dodgy he ever said, but he just clearly wanted to get home and take care of his kids. Good for him, and Rocco really shouldn't hold him up on the podcast like that. Fuck's sake, the guy never even had much to say. My advice to Shawn would be to:

Rocco though, hoooo boy, he's 110% shameless and pushy. The podcast started flailing in quality with how many ads they started running, and in a way where you can't skip them - there'd be maybe 20 minutes of show, and they'd slip into their sponsors, one of which was Sumo Lounge, a company that sold $500 beanbag chairs. Their ad reads would go on forever with a lot of bad improvisational comedy, and they kind of ended up leading me to just hate Sumo Lounge. Like, yeah, the product's not for me, but fuck was Rocco annoying about it. There was even one moment where Derrick outright admits that they're not comfy, and I wish I had written down the timestamp for that moment, fuck, dude, that'd be so good for a thread. Though when Lootcrate came along, it was pretty funny to watch them try so hard to pretend like they enjoyed the trash they pulled out of every box every month.

Speaking of annoying things, there was another trend on the podcast for a while where they decided randomly screaming into the microphones was funny. So this is like the one podcast out there where you just can't wear headphones. And another segment where they'd take Skype calls, though at one point they just started answering and hanging up on them immediately, just to be jerks. It's funny the first times, but not so much the 50th time. Especially considering it was mostly teenagers calling up looking for advice. That put a bad taste in my mouth.

Oh, and, shirts. They sell shirts. Were you aware that Mega64 sells shirts? They sure do sell shirts - countless shirts, with new designs ALL THE TIME and they're fairly expensive and printed on whatever's the cheapest stock shirts they can find. And you'll hear about it on every single podcast, often more than once, because Rocco is a salesman first and an entertainer second. They even include "secret prizes" as a perk when you buy them - I bought one a few years ago and my secret prize was a postcard advertisement for a haunted house in San Diego. Great. Thanks for... literally garbage, I guess. Like, I get it, it's a sometimes-you-win, sometimes-you-lose thing, but you could have at least written something silly on it.

By 2016, it was really starting to feel like half the podcast was an ad of some sort. Several sponsors, plus your own merch, and now it's time to actually start the sh-NOPE, THEY HAVE A PATREON TOO!

A Patreon where they paywall videos of themselves playing video games (which as we all know, is a very rare thing on the internet) and they send out blind bags quarterly.



Look, I know, a fella's gotta eat. That's fine. But it wouldn't be so damning if Rocco weren't already from a well-off family. He's shown random videos around his homes, once mentioned buying a 65" TV at Costco for his bedroom, and seems to just buy every single game, action figure, iPhone, and Blu-ray that catches his eye. Rocco's also eternally single (or at least keeps his relationships off of the show) and just seems to live the life of a manchild when he's not shilling his tits off. Shit, they even go to Disneyland a few times a year, and Rocco's flown out to Japan several times.

They're also allegedly working on a movie, Mega64 4.1 , but there haven't been any updates since its announcement in 2017. But when the announcement happened? "WE JUST RELAUNCHED OUR PATREON TO HELP EXPEDITE AND ELABORATE OUR PRODUCTION, AND TO RELEASE IT ON TIME" And totally not so Rocco can buy more soy shit like a fucking My Size Darth Vader.

Which he seriously bought, and even Derrick knew that was some fuckin' manchild shit:

Mega64's been around since 2004, two years before YouTube was even founded, and they're only around the 500k subscriber mark. Each of their podcasts still only get around 25k views, and it's been like that for years and years. Treating your fans like magic cash dispensers that you can kick around? Gee, I wonder why you can't break out of stagnation.

I feel like I had a lot more I could say when I stopped watching them, but it's been years now and I never hear anything about them unless I go out of my way to check. I guess I never realized how small their following really is. Unless something's changed recently, I don't know if a thread on them would work, considering Rocco's the only one in the group that seems shitty deep down inside, but he's internet savvy enough to know that shit stays online forever, and not to run his mouth. Derrick's kind of a dick at times, but I think he's a good person deep down. Shawn just wants to be with his family, and Garrett's the kind of person who never gets worked up and keeps his cool. Even their subreddit presence is pretty small, with under 9,000 subs and nothing on the front page currently with over 100 upvotes. Considering they used to run a forum on Mega64 and officially migrated to Reddit, that's... pretty small, for a group that's been active for such a long time.

I never realized it before, but out of their 15 most viewed videos, 12 of them are from over a decade ago. Ouch.



So, that's Mega64. A manchild, a dad, a cool guy, and Derrick.

Since the vice president of Rooster Teeth got arrested for being a male feminist who did the kind of things male feminists do, that reminded me about Eric Baudour, who moved onto Rooster Teeth after working for Mega64 for years. Though he's not otherwise worth mentioning.

 

[Delta Δ]

I know a fucker online named Jod. Jod is one of the most perplexing figures I've ever met, from one of the most autistic yet not really looked upon corners of the internet. Years ago, I i was very active on Miiverse, Nintendo's shitty social media site, and because of it I've made friends I'll never lose. Miiverse is now dead and gone, but people wanted it back. As such, two known hackers of Miiverse archived old Miiverse code and created Closedverse. There are dozens of shitty Miiverse clones out there, but for a long time, this was the most known one.

Closedverse had many differences from the old Miiverse, such as the ability to swear and post images that weren't from games, and you could even post gifs. This is where Jod comes in to play. I was on a server with several of my old Miiverse friends, and we all know Closedverse is a exceptional site with exceptional people on it, but we still go on it to see what goes on. Turns out someone posted the infamous Fukouna Shoujo 03 gif. If you don't know what that is, it's a gif of an anime girl getting skinned alive via lasers. Because this was a popular user, there was a major freak out by the eleven to fourteen year olds who use the site. That user later got banned. Jokingly, people post other 'gore' images, such as screenshots from the original Doom. Those people also got banned.

This is where Jod comes into play. He posts in the most annoying faggot way possible "uhhh could you please stop posting gore???? thanks".

One of my friends decides to respond to this with with a simple yet effective retort: "Shut up, tranny." He didn't realize that Jod is, indeed, a tranny.

"uhhhhhhh could you not?????? it's 2018 and people are still saying tranny?????" the boygirl comments. And we're off to the races. Out of complete boredom, we decide to look at his profile. He has pictures of himself. He doesn't necessarily have the nicest hair. At all, in fact. It looks like ramen noodles. And that's exactly what we do, we make fun of him for having ramen hair. We call him Noodleboy. He can't take it. He's not happy. He's getting very pissed off. It's very funny.

If you're thinking to yourself "Wow, this asshole is bullying a dude for being trans! What did he ever do to you?", then I understand. You see, even if Jod wasn't a tranny, he'd still do some things I'd consider completely fucking disgusting. One user of Closedverse made a shitty ED knockoff called Closedverse Dramatica, and Jod had his own article. Somehow, the person who runs the wiki got his hands on images of Jod wearing diapers for sexual gratification. We do not choose to ask him about these, as we assume he's heard enough about them. We also learn his real name is Eric Davis, he lives in Virginia Beach, he's 14 years old, his dad has been dead for ten years, and he claims to suffer from depression. Of course, with depression most of the time being faker than professional wrestling, this can not be confirmed.

One of the many communities (essentially boards) of Closedverse is the Serious Discussion Community, where people usually post about how they're going to kill themselves because they aren't very good at school, and never go through with it. However, Jod is hardcore. He just straight up posts "I just ingested sixty pills. Goodbye." People are clamoring for him to call 911. This based fucking god just responds with "Now it's at seventy." Don't worry, however. It becomes a common theme that the only person who wants to see Jod's misfortune more than me is Death himself. After a little while presumably in the hospital, he's back.

Jod knows who I am at this point, and doesn't like me, however he's not very smart either. After getting ahold of his discord, I friend request him and the madman actually accepts it. At around this point, we find out of another Miiverse clone he's active on, called Cedar. Cedar has a cool feature where you can create a community, and thus the Make Fun of Jod community was born, and I wanted to use this dm conversation to tell him of it. If you care, the Make Fun of Jod community was just a bunch of noodle related shitposting. After quickly consulting my friends about what to say to make this funny, one suggests I ask him if he likes Huey Lewis and the News, ala Patrick Bateman. I actually went through the entire scene from American Psycho with him, and thankfully he didn't get the reference. However, instead of murdering Jod with an axe, I link him the Make Fun of Jod community. He just responds with "this is gonna get deleted soon." before blocking me. It did not get deleted.

Jod now has a new reason to live, an e-girlfriend. Her name is Red. She is eleven years old. She is a transgender eleven year old. This was our first clue that Jod was not just an exceptional individual, but a legitimately disgusting one as well. We express our displeasure with him, and he claims it's not pedophilia because he's also child, but also because 'he's a lot older mentally' as well. One user named Eb, who is also absolutely a lolcow, called out Jod on this. Eb is obsessed with Dylan Klebold. When the school shooter fan girls are calling you out, you have done something extremely wrong.

Eventually, Jod and Red break up and he once again loses his will to live, attempting suicide once again. He lives once again, although spends two and a half weeks in the hospital. Nothing really happens for a few months, until lighting fucking strikes. With his constant attempted suicides and clear selfishness, his mother, Debbie Davis, decides she's had enough and straight up says in a text message that he's dead to her and she's putting him up for adoption. Jod is put up for adoption via text message. Although Jod continues to exist, the story largely slows down for several months, until just recently.

You see, as any kid oriented thing online is, Closedverse is filled with pedophilia and cp. The owner of the site, Ariankordi, has talked before about how he has seventeen gigabytes of child pornography, and his second in command, PF2M, groomed a minor and, because of postings in another Miiverse clone, is actually responsible for child endangerment. However, no one has ever given a shit because they themselves are children, I believe 17 and 16 respectively. One of my friends sets up an operation to get most of these pedophiles arrested. Ariankordi is the first to go, and with his arrest also came the death of Closedverse. Closedverse is dead and gone, and so are most of the archives. PF2M got the domain from Arian and turned it into an FAQ of what to do now, but after his arrest, the domain was shut down.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming. We find out Jod, who has been adopted, is on a loli/cub/child porn discord server and has also blackmailed people out of nudes. Some of the shit he said there legitimately disgusted me. We also find out that he is a member of the legendary /r9k/ tranny cult, and has said before that he is a friend of Reiko's. We also learn more about his old home life, and that even though we had previously sympathized with mother Debbie, she's not the most innocent either. His dad, Wayne, was a generally smart, kind and generous man before he married Debbie, but afterwards she drove essentially him to an unexpected suicide. Jod is a victim of his circumstances, nobody is in the right here.

Jod has been reported to the FBI with an anonymous tip, and as I write this he has not been arrested yet, although we expect he get arrested soon. After learning about his report, Jod attempted suicide once again, this time by running into traffic. It also did not work. The moral of the story is don't be on Miiverse.

Uh oh, there’s updates. For all seven people that read the last one, thank you, or something. Jod is back and better than ever, and I wouldn’t have found out if not for the post I made. The first thing I should mention is that I’m a retard who didn’t archive anything so please god just take my word for it. There’s deleted and suspended twitter accounts involved in this, and I am a complete fucking idiot for not archiving anything in the nearly two weeks it’s been. That being said, I’m gonna get on with this shit.

So by some fucking reverse image search miracle, a guy who knows Jod irl found my last post and dmed me on this very forum telling me that he has admitted to him that he liked nine years olds, which as we established last post, isn’t a surprise. But what is more surprising is his more recent activities. Jod plays competitive Smash now in the Southern Virginia area, and is a particularly shitty player. In the dms, he let me in on the inside scoop. I should mention that these are paraphrased as, no offense, this man talks like a fucking neandarthal.

“He goes 0-2 every week and even lost to a guy who actually has special needs. Dude barely speaks and beat Jod. Jod is also the only person who he has ever beaten, just as a fun fact. Most recently, Jod challenged the second best player in our scene to a first to 5 money match and Jod took 1 stock int he entire 5 games. He said he was money matching him to prove a point and then got 14 stocked.”

But that’s only the funny part, not the sad, enraging part. Oh no, that’s here.

“So Jod has been in the local Smash scene for about 4 years now and was just kinda in the background the entire time. In Feburary of this year, he made a twitlonger accusing another smash player of being a pedo with no evidence at all whatsoever. It gained some attention just because the Smash scene is fucking awful. Nothing came from it besides Jod making posts in the scenes discord every month and a half or so accusing the local scene of transphobia and victim blaming. People that didn’t entirely hate him at first would explain to him that nothing can be done with out evidence and he would go off again about how its transphobic and then a bunch of retarded shit. So that went on for eight months and all led up to him and his trans friends on twitter costing another Smash player their job because they all called his place of work and sent messages that he said to Jod in dms. He worked at one of the local venues so he also got banned for six months from that. So after Jod got him banned, ge then messaged the person he got banned in twitter dms saying he feels bad that the person deals with some of the stuff jod also deals with (depression and shit like that). The person who Jod got fired then went off on him in twitter dms as expected and then he posted the screenshots to his twitter saying how transphobic he is etc etc.“

A bit earlier, a friend linked me a giant ass twitter thread about all the awful shit Jod has done from accusing people of pedophilia while actually being a pedo and other shit. This must have been like thirty posts of undisputed evidence against him. In a perfect world, this would have been the end of Jod. But this is not a perfect world.

You see, no one told us that Jod changed his name. In the old post I made as well as in almost all of the screenshots, Jod’s real name is listed as Eric Davis. However, not one person told us that he changed his name because of his tranniness. Admittedly in the last post, I said he was a tranny, but I actually meant he was non binary. He is still non binary, but he goes by a female name now: Charlotte. Even though I have friends that have been following this whole thing, not a single one of them knew that he was not Charlotte Davis.

And thus, twitter shat upon it. We’re evil and wrong because no one told us that Eric is now Charlotte. We’re worse than pedophiles because we said a guy’s name wrong. The post has since been deleted and the account suspended, likely because of this post.

Jod then made another post on twitter accusing the person who made the last post of the exact same shit. Literally the same shit, from pedophilia and diaper fetishism to victim blaming and transphobia. However, he didn’t have any evidence, but no one asking him for any because, hey, he thinks he has a vajoongle. That means he can’t do anything wrong. Directly after, he deleted his twitter account, something I learned is actually very common for him to do. Nice.

I don’t know what the fuck is next. I have just as much evidence as Jod himself, I don’t live anywhere close to Virginia, I don’t have contacts that can do anything about this, and I’m not going to ask this site for anything because you all aren’t a personal army. Maybe once I get the evidence and an update, I’ll come back with it. I just wanted to update because people liked the first one. Just like the last one, this story also has a moral: trannies ruin everything.

 

[BlueBonnet]

Not a regular user of Kiwi Farms so I was trying to make a thread for this guy, but this will do.

So there's a few obscure lolcows I've encountered that only I and like 20 people I know have clowned on.
One of these is this guy named Morgan James Gavin. I've talked to him a few times, but he's not as online anymore as he used to be. I think he started getting attention when Keemstar and a few others were jokingly claiming Morgan's face was ColossalIsCrazy's.

KEEM 🍿 on Twitter

“I warn you @ColossalisCrazy if you did not uploaded today I'm exposing ur face reveal”

twitter.com

I'm pretty sure this guy has mental problems, so I do feel somewhat bad when I make fun of him, but I must admit, the guy is just too hilarious.

He has two youtube channels, one he no longer uses: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUMSNNrL2288WXWO83YWJcA

And one he still uploads to regularly: https://www.youtube.com/user/Getsutomo

He also has a twitter where he used to @ Markiplier and Donald Trump as if they'd notice: https://twitter.com/MorganJGavin

He also fancies himself a musician and author.

His books: https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripboo...xt=Morgan+James+Gavin&ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1

My favorite has to be "Messages to a really bad President", where he writes a few messages to Trump.
I suggest reading the amazon preview of it, just so you can get a taste for the type of guy this is.

As far as I know he has 2 nicknames, Dr3Arms and the Gavinator.

Suspiciously, a few of his books has positive reviews by Dr3Arms
Wonder who that is?

He also has a Medium where he usually talks about Trump even more: https://medium.com/@MorganGavin_51298

One of my favorites has to be "Hello, Presidick of the Divided States!"
His Medium articles are written as if directed to Trump, as if he'd read them.

He also sold an album, one which included a song about working at a drive thru, however I don't have access to that album or the music, so here's some of his other music:

Rap Fame - Rap App

Morgan James Gavin - Rise of the Three Arms - Amazon.com Music

Morgan James Gavin - Rise of the Three Arms - Amazon.com Music

www.amazon.com

Guess I'll just leave this post with some haha images.

Overall, don't have as much stuff saved as I wish I did, but I hope this post leads to other people taking interest in this little freak.

 

[The Jumping Dwarf]

I just learned about this whole thing but I'm nonetheless posting it here because it's terrifyingly amazing. Apparently some schizo has been stalking a Twitch thot called AngelsKimi (Kimi Park) and has written a massive rambling manifesto about how he wants to destroy the world because his feelings are not returned.

Some highlights:

I'm a Permanent Chief of the Shadow Confederation, not through connections or evil deeds, but through simply commanding so much knowledge and power that I've been deemed worthy of the position. I'm a master of philopsychology, a deeply hidden field that isn't taught by any schools most people would've ever heard of, and was never understood nearly as comprehensively as I've presented it, until I came along. I'm an individual with a core value of refined pure bidirectional apprehension, a concept that most are left scatterbrained at merely the mention of. I'm a tier 3 quantum energy arts user, an art so deep and great that most want to instantly dismiss me as delusional for even mentioning it because it's simply too much for their fragile egos to bare to acknowledge the existence of.

I'm going to torture both Kimi and Chloe extensively. I'm going to strip them naked and make them face each other as they watch what's going to happen to them happening to each other. Since they're the only women on the planet that can turn me on like they do and that I have any serious desire to regularly and frequently engage in sexual acts with for the rest of eternity, since I'd already know I can never get such things from them willingly, once I'm done torturing and raping them in front of each other while I laugh as they're crying and begging for mercy, I'll start putting into motion my plan to preserve their bodies so I can use them for sexual release whenever I want in between periods of wreaking havoc and destruction upon the world. I'll be sure to test and perfect the process on some mediocre women first, while letting Kimi and Chloe watch as they're tied up and unable to escape of course, to make sure their bodies are perfectly preserved for my use throughout the period I'm ending the world.

I've mentioned to Kimi before that I'm six inches when I'm hard. I wasn't lying nor exaggerating. I'm sure she won't be disappointed with what I've got. I know how to use it too.

Kimi is, objectively speaking, a random girl on the internet that live streams herself talking for a living, while I'm a Permanent Chief of the Shadow Confederation with a core value of refined pure bidirectional apprehension, the world's leading expert in philopsychology, a tier 3 (the maximum) quantum energy arts practitioner, and literally the ruler of the world.

Writing this book was far from the first time that I've threatened to end the world and you're far from the first person to give me that kind of attitude. Well, it's understandable I suppose; it's not every day that you encounter the ruler of the planet.

But really, anything from the 367 fucking page document could be quoted here. It's truly amazing wading through a sea of pure schizophrenia.

http://noenterprise.org (http://archive.is/pPcmk)
http://noenterprise.org/?note=final (http://archive.is/4IoIC)
http://noenterprise.org/?note=dues (http://archive.is/uwlGn)
http://noenterprise.org/?note=trying (http://archive.is/3xDbY)
http://noenterprise.org/?note=ez (http://archive.is/aQggP)

His Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TheNotAngelic (http://archive.is/GfxLH)

At one point he even crashed Ice Poseidon's stream to talk about his love for Kimi.

Truly amazing.

 

[Lady of the House]

this chick on reddit called sochabell who i found through the beatles subreddit. She's a 23 year old NEET who believes the spirit of john lennon is her guardian and that she's transage (said without irony)

and yes she likes the twilight books and is obsessed with lennon being her "imprinter", whatever that is, i have no clue.

Spoiler

also here's her being an exceptional individual for paul mccartney

Spoiler

View attachment 1045045

there's so much content to cap of her insaneness but i'd recommend you'd take a look for yourself. she revolves her whole life around lennon and strangely calls him the "pie" (cutie pie? not sure). I once had an obsession with a dead celebrity myself (also named john) but it never went to me believing in fucking twilight concepts.

 

[SwanDive]

I just learned about this whole thing but I'm nonetheless posting it here because it's terrifyingly amazing. Apparently some schizo has been stalking a Twitch thot called AngelsKimi (Kimi Park) and has written a massive rambling manifesto about how he wants to destroy the world because his feelings are not returned.

Some highlights:







But really, anything from the 367 fucking page document could be quoted here. It's truly amazing wading through a sea of pure schizophrenia.

http://noenterprise.org (http://archive.li/pPcmk)
http://noenterprise.org/?note=final (http://archive.li/4IoIC)
http://noenterprise.org/?note=dues (http://archive.li/uwlGn)
http://noenterprise.org/?note=trying (http://archive.li/3xDbY)
http://noenterprise.org/?note=ez (http://archive.li/aQggP)

His Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TheNotAngelic (http://archive.li/GfxLH)

At one point he even crashed Ice Poseidon's stream to talk about his love for Kimi.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Kaex8NHsSKU
Truly amazing.

Given that this dude is brazen enough to walk in on Ice Poseidon's stream like that, there's not a doubt in my mind that he is going to try something. It has been a month since this manifesto went up, but only time will tell.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Charles Echols/Freedomtorule

Old fart who makes "memes" most often featuring his own face looking smug or a stock image Jesus, almost almost with the caption "dude" and a wall-of-text about how Trump and the corporations are brainwashing you through "the idiot box".
I did a search here and found he isn't mentioned, but he's totally lulz worthy.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Freedomtorule
(Archive: https://archive.li/IcChT)




(No idea who the guerrilla hamster is supposed to be)

(Christians call him mean names I guess?)

He has (unfortunately) deleted his Facebook account since this screen was taken, but his twitter is still active.

 

[Zhoban]

I don't even know how I'm supposed to react to this one.

 

[SamSalamander34]

Both are myths. Circumcision reduces sensitivity of the penis and has no positive affects. The only real advantage is that it's easier to keep clean with no foreskin, but really any guy that bathes once a week wont have that problem for their entire life.

The only sure this is anteaters look gross I would rather a smooth penis with no for-skin cheeze ( I’m a girl)

View attachment 1063845
I don't even know how I'm supposed to react to this one.

I love that for her she looks so fun and interesting

 

[Derpfactor5]

Well, I was going to finish up a podcast episode on Santa, but, I think I'll do this instead. Hey BB, long time huh? Anyways, I randomly did a search my myself for the fun of it, and yes, I am Morgan James Gavin, and... well... Kinda disappointed in your lack of detail here man, I mean, really. Had I the mindset still I'd've done a deeper dive and found every detail. So, let's dig through the post and do some fact checking.

Not a regular user of Kiwi Farms so I was trying to make a thread for this guy, but this will do.

Bluebonnet:
So there's a few obscure lolcows I've encountered that only I and like 20 people I know have clowned on.
One of these is this guy named Morgan James Gavin. I've talked to him a few times, but he's not as online anymore as he used to be. I think he started getting attention when Keemstar and a few others were jokingly claiming Morgan's face was ColossalIsCrazy's.

KEEM 🍿 on Twitter

“I warn you @ColossalisCrazy if you did not uploaded today I'm exposing ur face reveal”

twitter.com

Reply:
I'm not as online as I used to be because I got a job at Amazon after coming back from Great Lakes Recruit Training Camp, I was separated because I caught pneumonia and fell behind in training. To be honest, I don't think I was ever really famous, just a joke to be passed around every once in a while, but I'm over that. And yeah, that was fun while it lasted, the internet fame.


Bluebonnet:
I'm pretty sure this guy has mental problems, so I do feel somewhat bad when I make fun of him, but I must admit, the guy is just too hilarious.

Reply:
I do not have mental problems, but hey, outsider perception forms reality, so whatever floats your boat.

BlueBonnet:
He has two youtube channels, one he no longer uses: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUMSNNrL2288WXWO83YWJcA and one he still uploads to regularly: https://www.youtube.com/user/Getsutomo

Reply:
I actually have around five to six different channels... Here's a list:
1. D3A Raps
2. Test Channel
3. Morgan's vid Archive
4. Mojadoga
5. FuckingCrazyBastard

Sooooo... five. That last one I can't seem to access anymore. Le sigh.

BlueBonnet:
He also has a twitter where he used to @ Markiplier and Donald Trump as if they'd notice: https://twitter.com/MorganJGavin

Reply:
Again, two or three accounts, one for a gaming clan called Za, which went nowhere, and the previously mentioned one.

BlueBonnet:
He also fancies himself a musician and author. His books.
My favorite has to be "Messages to a really bad President", where he writes a few messages to Trump. I suggest reading the amazon preview of it, just so you can get a taste for the type of guy this is.

Reply:
Which I am, if you're going to reference one of the books, then mention all of them, again, lazy detective work. Also, that was written years ago back when I had the time to be ridiculously angry about everything. People do change over time, you know? I'm not the same person I was back in the day.

BlueBonnet:
As far as I know he has 2 nicknames, Dr3Arms and the Gavinator.

Reply:
Correction, I've got a few different ones: Dr. 3 Arms, Gavinator, Getsutomo, Mojadoga, and some others, meh, good times.


Blue Bonnet:
Suspiciously, a few of his books has positive reviews by Dr3Arms
Wonder who that is?
View attachment 1033139
View attachment 1033143

Reply:
Yeah, those were written back when I cared about other people's thoughts on my works. I've got better things to do, and yeah, I get the irony of this.

BlueBonnet:
He also has a Medium where he usually talks about Trump even more: https://medium.com/@MorganGavin_51298 . One of my favorites has to be "Hello, Presidick of the Divided States!"
His Medium articles are written as if directed to Trump, as if he'd read them.View attachment 1033154

Reply:
Again, don't post there anymore. I've got a blog: www.morgansmindcicles.com, and much to your surprise, I focus on things other than trump. Hooray! Progress.

BlueBonnet:
He also sold an album, one which included a song about working at a drive thru, however I don't have access to that album or the music, so here's some of his other music:

Rap Fame - Rap App

Morgan James Gavin - Rise of the Three Arms - Amazon.com Music

Morgan James Gavin - Rise of the Three Arms - Amazon.com Music

www.amazon.com

Reply:
Good god you're bad at linking things aren't you? The Album's called "Rise of the Three Arms" and it's not my best work, but I've got plenty of material and I'll eventually release a few other albums. I think I've got maybe 50 or so tracks recorded?

BlueBonnet:
Guess I'll just leave this post with some haha images.
View attachment 1033169
Reply:
WTF did this come from? Oh, twitter at one point or another.

BlueBonnet:
View attachment 1033174
Reply:
Wolfy... Whinny? God I don't remember her name at all. But, weirdly enough, this is one of the most circulated images of me out there. And nope, that's not photoshopped.

BlueBonnet:
View attachment 1033175
Reply:
Random selfie, I was curious about my neck for some reason.

BlueBonnet:
View attachment 1033178
Reply:
Ah, this! Well, for a few year my team and I would take part in the Relay for Life down in Hesperia, it's a 24 hour marathon/walk a thon fundraiser for cancer research, all for a good cause. Anyways, I think it might've been in 2009/2010 they held the Miss Relay competition, in which all teams would nominate a male member to dress up and go around the track and collect funds. Apparently, I fit the bill that year, and on the dress and wig went! I think I collected something like $500 for my team, again, cancer research, fundraising through the American Cancer Society, awesome foundation.

BlueBonnet:
View attachment 1033177
Overall, don't have as much stuff saved as I wish I did, but I hope this post leads to other people taking interest in this little freak.

Trust me my dude, I doubt anyone here's going to take any interest in me whatsoever, and for the most part, I'm very thankful that I'm simply irrelevant according to the internet, Any fame I've gathered have been a massive pain in my ass, which given every bit of stress you and your friends have put me through while trying to just build something of inherent value, made it almost completely impossible. I don't expect that anyone here's going to take pity on me, and I just don't care anymore about words on a screen, I really don't. You also missed citing my vine, tiktok, instagram, and a few other things, but outside of that, I've got a few final thoughts:
Looking back, I wish I knew then what I know now, and maybe that might've presented a different view point in my interactions with you. I know that, given your membership here, your perception of me won't change, and I don't expect it to.
I forgive you for everything you've tried to set out to do, and I'm fully aware that outside of acting a bit off from time to time, I haven't done anything that warrants your dislike of how I lived my life. After all, people will often try to tear down others because of jealousy of something or other. I honestly don't see what I've done with my life that warrants the kind of treatment I've received.
But hey, this is Kiwifarms, y'all would laugh at a dying man if it meant you'd be accepted.

 

[AnOminous]

But hey, this is Kiwifarms, y'all would laugh at a dying man if it meant you'd be accepted.

I'd laugh at a dying man if it was funny you spastic.

 

[Derpfactor5]

I'd laugh at a dying man if it was funny you spastic.

Still laughing at a dying man is laughing at a dying man, regardless if humor is found in it.

 

[Jewish Porn Hoe]

Richard Kulisz

Mostly inactive nowadays but I stumbled on this guy a few years ago.
Short version: The guy was some Loonix freetard with Stalinist politics, tons of genocidal fantasies and colossal hateboner for Eliezer Yudkowsky (the LessWrong guy). Went dark for a long time and if you plug his name into Google you can see he had private cow watcher club at one point.

And according to someone posting /cow/ he turned up again in the train watcher community because if one thing never changes it's fucking autism and it's attraction to trains.

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

Somebody I forgot about just posted a video and reminded me of his existence. DemoniusX is a Wings-style lifewreck who aspires to be the realist, edgiest dude in the world. His channel has been around forever, and has tried to ride the atheist, then anti-SJW waves for a while but with no real success and just a few people like me laughing at him.

In his latest video he reveals he got gout in his leg (very KF-friendly), and his trailer trash wife had to have her toes amputated, presumably from the 'beetus. I'd probably recommend this older video to start out on him, despite its 2018 date, it's a deep cut of olden-style self-righteous YT ranting:

 

[Pissmaster]

Somebody I forgot about just posted a video and reminded me of his existence. DemoniusX is a Wings-style lifewreck who aspires to be the realist, edgiest dude in the world. His channel has been around forever, and has tried to ride the atheist, then anti-SJW waves for a while but with no real success and just a few people like me laughing at him.

In his latest video he reveals he got gout in his leg (very KF-friendly), and his trailer trash wife had to have her toes amputated, presumably from the 'beetus. I'd probably recommend this older video to start out on him, despite its 2018 date, it's a deep cut of olden-style self-righteous YT ranting:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=zyGLwl099l4

I feel like I've heard that name more than once, but never knew who he was. Hrm.

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

I feel like I've heard that name more than once, but never knew who he was. Hrm.

He has a crazy amalgamation of traits enjoyed in other cows - the smugness of Dusty, the self-abuse of WARDAWG, the dumpster philosophy of King Cobra, I wouldn't be surprised if he seems familiar even if he's not, although he is ridiculous enough to have probably been linked around. I don't think he has a dedicated following but may be wrong.

Come to think of it, he looks a little like one of the guys in Rental Reviews too.

 

[Big Nasty]

I feel like I've heard that name more than once, but never knew who he was. Hrm.

Probably from ED.

 

[BlueBonnet]

Well, I was going to finish up a podcast episode on Santa, but, I think I'll do this instead. Hey BB, long time huh? Anyways, I randomly did a search my myself for the fun of it, and yes, I am Morgan James Gavin, and... well... Kinda disappointed in your lack of detail here man, I mean, really. Had I the mindset still I'd've done a deeper dive and found every detail. So, let's dig through the post and do some fact checking.

Don't know who tf BB is so I'm pretty sure you don't even know who I am

Edit: Damn I'm retarded, just realized BB is BlueBonnet