💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[FemalePresident]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=DR9VzbPZUlI
New Jack video, today we get to see the dead hand in action:
View attachment 1031021
You can almost feel the numbness.

Most pointless video ever?

His brain is malfunctioning.

 

[Adamska]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=DR9VzbPZUlI
New Jack video, today we get to see the dead hand in action:
View attachment 1031021
You can almost feel the numbness.

Because chugging sauces totally is a good topic for any show...

And I love how he hates all of them, probably because they're not chock full of butter, sugar, salt, soy, and any other calorie loaders possible.

Did he really attribute the Walmart Chicken Dipping sauce being sold out was because of his fucking review? Yeah, that's gotta be it you mong.

He is that delusional and dishonest; remember he is desperately trying to pretend this is a job just so he can lie to Tammy and himself that he isn't just a fat indolent manchild with an eating disorder.

View attachment 1031142

In case you needed some proof that Jack was an illiterate piece of garbage. He's surprised that Arby's doesnt have coffee, but if you could read the menu, you would have seen years ago they don't have any coffee.

This is pure mushbrained tardery combined with his inner middle-school girl. Rather than maybe admit he's just being senile and/or stroke addled, he tries to take the knives out on a place for not having something that my ass knew they didn't have. For years on end.

I bet you the only reason he didn't go full Karen was because he got dunked on hard by that cleaning company and he's scared to do it.

 

[AnOminous]

"No matter what you're cooking, seasoning and sauce are the most important things"

- Cooking with Jack

Well that's just pure dumbness. It certainly isn't the case with steak where quite often seasoning is completely superfluous, or you're looking at adding a touch of salt and maybe butter, and maybe waving a bit of garlic over it.

 

[Charlie Delicious]

Jack just let's his stroked out brain say whatever. And records it. And uploads it to the Internet.

 

[Religion is Dead]

Did he really attribute the Walmart Chicken Dipping sauce being sold out was because of his fucking review? Yeah, that's gotta be it you mong.

I'm sure 12,000 people were able to stockpile from every major grocery store in the world the Great Value sauce.

 

[Chamulum]

I'm sure 12,000 people were able to stockpile from every major grocery store in the world the Great Value sauce.

View attachment 1031365

I thought it was Ripoff Recipe?

 

[JackDavis]

Words *TAP* words *TAP* words *TAP TAP TAP* words *TAP TAP* words *TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP*
FUCK THAT WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY

"This is the Kroger's version of Walmart's chicken dipping sauce."
You fucking faggot. How you gonna say it's they're a ripoff version of another store's ripoff version.
He talks about the Walmart brand version like it's always sold out. You know where Chick Fil A sauce won't be sold out? At Chick Fil A. You can just go there and get a tub of it no problem. Might be a tiny bit more expensive, but at least you're supporting the real innovators instead of fucking Walmart.

MayoChup, which is Mayo and Ketchup, both things we all are familiar with and have tasted together countless numbers of times, he calls it "Thousand Island without the relish" which is about 100x more abstract in comparison. \

He tells a story about how he would market his sauces (BBQ mind you). He started off with steak with sauce on it, but changed to hamburger because it got too expensive. Hamburger was still too expensive and decided to just let their customers drink it straight instead and that lead to the most sales.

He says seasoning and sauce are the most important things when cooking. If you think this, you have the palette of a fucking child. The ingredients are the most important thing. Give me good quality proteins and fresh vegetables with salt and pepper over an overcooked chicken breast with chick fil a sauce and canned vegetables with mayochup any day.

Jack sings a little playful ditty here. "Let me pop this open here.. doot doot dootdootdootdoot doot.. and it pops open!"
"It smells like Chick Fil A sauce, I don't know if it is." Nigga did you buy it from Chick Fil A? Does the fucking label say Kroger's? Then it's not Chick Fil A sauce.
He says it's always sold out at Chick Fil A, and they want you to pay for it! You might as well pay for it at Walmart. What's with this dude constantly shilling walmart. Both places make you pay for sauce, so you might as well buy it from Walmart instead?

Jack smells the Mayochup twice unironically then goes on a rant about how weird it is that people smelled sauces before tasting them. That's one of the least weird things you can ever do with food. How something smells affects how it tastes you neanderthal. "Yeah tastes like Thousand Island........ with no relish." So contrived.

Look how thick and viscous that catchup is. The way it comes out of the bottle "is just like catchup" says Jack. Thanks!
Jack also describes how it looks as "ewww". Always a good descriptor when talking about food.

 

[Adamska]

I always called whenever I combined Mayo and Ketchup as a Russian Sauce, but that's just because it and 1,000 island have the same base, but different ingredients.

I honestly do believe he only did this video because he was "starving" and had a bunch of sauces he could drink like the gluttonous pig he is. Because the sauce, while useful, is there to compliment or add a flavor profile to something you're already eating.

 

[Whatthefuck]

I always called whenever I combined Mayo and Ketchup as a Russian Sauce, but that's just because it and 1,000 island have the same base, but different ingredients.

I honestly do believe he only did this video because he was "starving" and had a bunch of sauces he could drink like the gluttonous pig he is. Because the sauce, while useful, is there to compliment or add a flavor profile to something you're already eating.

If you need a condiment made of condiments for your chicken breast then your chicken breast ain’t worth shit. Salt and pepper and maybe a little something with a kick and you’re in business.

Jack could never make an actual sauce like a pan sauce or a nice bearnaise. What a fucking disaster that would be.

 

[Captain Ahab]

I wish he would finally take off his hat and apron. They make him look like a character from Hostel.



Seriously, dude. We know you’re bald and fat. Trying to hide it only makes you look more insecure.

 

[captkrisma]

He talks about the Walmart brand version like it's always sold out. You know where Chick Fil A sauce won't be sold out? At Chick Fil A. You can just go there and get a tub of it no problem. Might be a tiny bit more expensive, but at least you're supporting the real innovators instead of fucking Walmart.

Or...and hear me out on this one...you could just go to a DIFFERENT Walmart or possibly even a Walmart Neighborhood Market, as there is even one of those within a 20 mile radius of Hendersonville.

 

[Rod Dangerous]

It had been discussed somewhat recently, so I went back and watched the video in which Jack reveals the results of his genetic ancestry testing.

Jack, who previously claimed to be 100 per cent Italian, appears shocked to learn that he’s 10 per cent Bangladeshi Middle Eastern and North African.



But what about those European numbers? “Balkan? What is Balkan? I don’t know what that means.”



“I have some West African and East African. Yeah, go west coast.”

Jack also reveals that for 35 years he and his brothers did not know of the existence of their sister. “We found that out a few years ago … My mom had a daughter with another man before she married my father.”

Jack also discusses the fact that his brother, Charles, has a theory that Jack might be the product of another man’s seed. “I don’t believe that. I look similar to them, but I’m just heavier than them.”

 

[Sev07]

It had been discussed somewhat recently, so I went back and watched the video in which Jack reveals the results of his genetic ancestry testing.

Jack, who previously claimed to be 100 per cent Italian, appears shocked to learn that he’s 10 per cent Bangladeshi Middle Eastern and North African.

View attachment 1032325

But what about those European numbers? “Balkan? What is Balkan? I don’t know what that means.”

View attachment 1032337

“I have some West African and East African. Yeah, go west coast.”

Jack also reveals that for 35 years he and his brothers did not know of the existence of their sister. “We found that out a few years ago … My mom had a daughter with another man before she married my father.”

Jack also discusses the fact that his brother, Charles, has a theory that Jack might be the product of another man’s seed. “I don’t believe that. I look similar to them, but I’m just heavier than them.”

I'm overwhelmed by the amount of potential jokes to make here.

 

[Zero fks to give]

Edit: @Religion is Dead beat me to this one.

The restaurant chain that “has the meats” does not serve coffee. Jack is incredulous, taking his frustration to Facebook.

Fried chicken and waffles, a Thanksgiving feast, and now Arby’s. Continue to poke the bear that is recurrent strokes.

I love that he rode his fat mobile to the chicken n waffles place. He's like one of those people still smoking and on oxygen.

 

[Aaway]

Both of Jack's brothers he's shown on video are thin and look nothing like Jack so I'm almost certain his theory about having a different father than his two brothers is true

Also, why has Jack never made any mention of this sister on video? At least not that I can think of

 

[arthurdaley]

Jack's mum was a ho

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

Where is the actual market? If you want a factory produced completely uninspired ketchup plus artificial flavors BBQ sauce, Sweet Baby Ray's is cheaper and better than Jack's shitsauce.

It's for people like Jack who want the *illusion* of variety, despite having the blandest palate imaginable and only really judging food on how effectively it delivers that rush of endorphins.

It's like your acquaintance who claims to be really into craft beer but you only ever see him order beers with 7% ABV or higher.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

It had been discussed somewhat recently, so I went back and watched the video in which Jack reveals the results of his genetic ancestry testing.

Jack, who previously claimed to be 100 per cent Italian, appears shocked to learn that he’s 10 per cent Bangladeshi Middle Eastern and North African.

View attachment 1032325

But what about those European numbers? “Balkan? What is Balkan? I don’t know what that means.”

View attachment 1032337

“I have some West African and East African. Yeah, go west coast.”

Jack also reveals that for 35 years he and his brothers did not know of the existence of their sister. “We found that out a few years ago … My mom had a daughter with another man before she married my father.”

Jack also discusses the fact that his brother, Charles, has a theory that Jack might be the product of another man’s seed. “I don’t believe that. I look similar to them, but I’m just heavier than them.”

He doesn't know what Balkan means? And he's, what, 45 years old? Christ on a bike.

 

[Chamulum]

He doesn't know what Balkan means? And he's, what, 45 years old? Christ on a bike.

The guy is a obese, white trash boomer that retches at the sight/thought of new experiences or foods. Can you blame him?

 

[Aaway]

did some research and found that jack's sister does actually appear in one of his videos from 2014. and lets just say she doesn't seem to be a fan of being filmed