💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
The thing that I find most incredible about Jack is his ability to fuck up slow-cooking in particular. Of the meats, poultry is the hardest (though still not hard) to find the sweet spot, but this idiot makes his entire identity around barbecue, stews, etc, and yet still somehow can't cook meat properly using techniques with so much margin for error that with anybody else would be considered foolproof.
 
The thing that I find most incredible about Jack is his ability to fuck up slow-cooking in particular. Of the meats, poultry is the hardest (though still not hard) to find the sweet spot, but this idiot makes his entire identity around barbecue, stews, etc, and yet still somehow can't cook meat properly using techniques with so much margin for error that with anybody else would be considered foolproof.

It's because he's possessed by a famine spirit that makes him act like a beast and eat raw meat if necessary

wendigo beast.png
 
For that Raw Ribs video, jack apparently only cooked them for 15 minutes and eyeballed everything because the top looked like it was getting too brown. He judged everything on the exterior appearance.

He apparently cares so much about not burning food that he ruins the food in the first place. Normally you cover food with foil, but he doesn't do that because according to him if the food is covered with foil the heat can't get through.
 
:story:

I was cackling at a random episode of CWJ (it was a review of some idiotic microwave “grill”) and my husband sat down to join me. Hubs had no prior knowledge of Jack’s existence or the abominations that come out of his kitchen.

Hub’s response to the video, verbatim:

“What is this r.etard doing?”

“What’s the name of his YouTube channel? I want to tell this guy to go kill himself.”

“Yeah. This guy should do something useful for the human race and kill himself.”

“Can you put on Binging with Babish instead?”
 

“Nobody else does sandwiches wrapped in lettuce.”

“When you don’t have the bread, it’s like you can taste more of the sandwich.”

The video ends with Jack Junior getting weird with Papa Salmonella’s neck.

Screen Shot 2019-11-20 at 10.02.40 AM.png
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=yQeD1iuQD6g
“Nobody else does sandwiches wrapped in lettuce.”

“When you don’t have the bread, it’s like you can taste more of the sandwich.”

The video ends with Jack Junior getting weird with Papa Salmonella’s neck.

View attachment 1017039

Tammy and Jack Jr look and sound extremely annoyed in the beginning of the video, but they kinda put up with it later on.

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He ate like 1/3 of the "sandwich" in one bite. Jesus.

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And she seems like the only one putting a bit of effort in reviewing (with this show's standards) the food. She could actually be the successor of Jack.
 
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https://youtube.com/watch?v=yQeD1iuQD6g
“Nobody else does sandwiches wrapped in lettuce.”

“When you don’t have the bread, it’s like you can taste more of the sandwich.”

The video ends with Jack Junior getting weird with Papa Salmonella’s neck.

View attachment 1017039
Are you fucking serious, Jack? You live in Nashville. I know good and goddamn well that there are plenty of places that offer a lettuce wrap for your sandwich around there. The place is filthy with them. Further, "you taste more of the sandwich". You mean the filling, you fucking mong? One of my favorite Jack traits is his propensity for stating the obvious just like the boomer he is.
 
the way jack jr dresses is so fucking annoying

You can’t flex your piss-quality scratcher tat if you don’t cut the sleeves off your sweatshirt. Junior is the white guy in The Offspring’s video for “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy).”
 
Also, wtf is this idiot talking about with Asians having no palate for BBQ? Isn't Korean and Japanese BBQ a big thing? It's probably this idiot's fucked up palate and his lust for salmonella that makes him think this. Not caked in sugar or butter? Their palates must be shit.

Some restaurants in Japan have printed instructions in English telling people to savor and enjoy the delicate flavor of meat/fish and not drown it in sauce. I can only assume this is for the benefit of hefty individuals like Jack who can't taste anything unless it is swimming in BBQ sauce.
 
it helped that he already had a head start on the "not knowing shit about shit" part
Seeing the recipes from his mother and aunt that he's made, there has to be a lot of southern in that family tree somewhere. Remember tomato salad that is tomatoes drenched in mayo?

https://youtube.com/watch?v=yQeD1iuQD6g
“Nobody else does sandwiches wrapped in lettuce.”

“When you don’t have the bread, it’s like you can taste more of the sandwich.”

The video ends with Jack Junior getting weird with Papa Salmonella’s neck.

View attachment 1017039
Hey! She isn't wearing her big ass wedding ring, looks like a purple version of Jack's ring.
Did they both outgrow their wedding rings?
 
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