Obscure Laughingstocks - Lolcows without substantial online presence.

[Rand /pol/]

This wierdo who went by "Heinrich Himmler". He seemed gay.

 

[Monika H.]

This wierdo who went by "Heinrich Himmler". He seemed gay.

I could never stand him tbh

 

[Give Her The D]

This wierdo who went by "Heinrich Himmler". He seemed gay.

Ron /pol/ was worse. Way fucking worse.

 

[WhoBusTank69]

Back when I frequented MUDs there was this one dump with so much drama that I just had to stick around to witness. Roleplay-enforced but lots of out of character bullshit so there's bound to be sperging.
Discussions of incest, cheating, relationship problems, diabetes-inflicted injuries and death, actual criminal activity, etc. - one of the staff had an affair with a female player and got caught because she bragged about it over public channels, some guy liked to gossip about other players and revealed that one was a stripper with a coke addiction, the owner was some airhead lesbean who collected tit pics from female players and shared them with staff, some guy bragging about how he stole shit from his workplace, that kind of thing. There was a huge concentration of players from North Carolina who got into the occasional love triangle, too, so they would have their arguments online for everyone's enjoyment.
Player retention was the subject of constant debate and, because new players left the same day they joined, nobody knew what the fuck they were doing wrong(everything) up until someone, very recently, quit over it which convinced them to actually apply the mountains of rules they have.

 

[KittyGremlin]

Please do post some snips. Sounds like good stuff.

 

[Monika H.]

Please do post some snips. Sounds like good stuff.

Workin' on that

 

[TerribleIdeas™]

This entire board. ❤

 

[WeWuzFinns]

try playing any game online that requires any teamwork, the spergs will find you

 

[Coke Pope]

Oh yeah, unfortunately I tend to find tons of them, for example: this dude called 'Monica H.' seems like a braindead mental case if you ask me.

 

[edboy]

About 6 years ago I used to go on the IMDB forums near daily, and I've had some strange experiences. One thing to know about IMDB is that it functions like Wikipedia, in that anyone can change the info on a film.

One particular person I remember was this guy who kept changing the info for some upcoming Halloween movie that ended up not getting made. He would list fake actors, producers, writer, etc. and it became such a problem that actual IMDB mods were telling him to stop. He started posting on the forums, and it became apparent that this was your basic schizo. This guy would post for hours daily to say that new people were attached to write, produce and act in this new Halloween movie. Every time it was a bunch of made up names, but he would always say that a guy named "Damien Caine" would direct.

It came to the point where he was posting near every hour, and people realized that this guy was probably very deprived of sleep, he posted so often. Users on the forums tried to stage some sort of intervention, tried to find IMDB mods who would listen, and even called the police. New users were encouraged to not interfere with the attempts to find out who this guy was and if he was OK.

Mods kept taking down the threads and ended up just banning the guy. The investigation continued through PMs and last I heard somebody got key info and found out where he lived, and contacted his family. His name apparently really was Damien Caine as people were suspecting. The IMDB boards have been shut down for 2 years, so I have no idea if he returned.

Also, I just remembered that this other schizo was trying to get into arguments with this guy as well. I think this is the video he made in response after he got his ass blasted by people in one thread and tried to play the victim.

 

[Man vs persistent rat]

A Syrian-German incel who has an apocalyptic view about the prospects of most men. Gets kicked out of malls for "black-pilling them too much", not for harassing women or anything.

 

[AnOminous]

A Syrian-German incel

That's like a triple incel.

 

[Notgoodwithusernames]

There's this one guy on know your meme called Vit. He's not notable enough for his own thread but he's a retard

Quick Rundown

Is obsessed with Vic Migogna and Pewdiepie

Constantly shills Breadtube

Is an unirionic fan of Movieblob and Peter Coffin

Thinks Neogaf is an alt right Haven

Posts overly long walls of text filled with word salads

https://knowyourmeme.com/users/vit/activity here's his profile

 

[johnjohn99]

I follow bob hickman religiously (God has entered into my body) and yesterday he uploaded a video that got taken down for sexual content and nudity, sadly. All I have is a pic of the vid thats in discord from when i sent the link.

It was quite disturbing. He shows his cock to the camera and does that thing that guys can do when you have a boner like moving your dick. He says its god making his penis dance like a snake, which made me lmfao. so sad i didnt save the vid

 

[Noppo]

I can’t exactly find much of him left on the internet as he’s fairly delete-happy, but googling his various usernames leads to a rabbit hole of gross that’s worth a good read if you like trainwrecks.

[link removed]

 

[Argh My Cigar]

[link removed]

Holy shit, thank you. This is amazing.

 

[Null]

Upload content directly to the site. Don't link to sites that require ID to access documents and which are source controlled.

 

[Cocacolaclassic]

I know a fucker online named Jod. Jod is one of the most perplexing figures I've ever met, from one of the most autistic yet not really looked upon corners of the internet. Years ago, I i was very active on Miiverse, Nintendo's shitty social media site, and because of it I've made friends I'll never lose. Miiverse is now dead and gone, but people wanted it back. As such, two known hackers of Miiverse archived old Miiverse code and created Closedverse. There are dozens of shitty Miiverse clones out there, but for a long time, this was the most known one.

Closedverse had many differences from the old Miiverse, such as the ability to swear and post images that weren't from games, and you could even post gifs. This is where Jod comes in to play. I was on a server with several of my old Miiverse friends, and we all know Closedverse is a exceptional site with exceptional people on it, but we still go on it to see what goes on. Turns out someone posted the infamous Fukouna Shoujo 03 gif. If you don't know what that is, it's a gif of an anime girl getting skinned alive via lasers. Because this was a popular user, there was a major freak out by the eleven to fourteen year olds who use the site. That user later got banned. Jokingly, people post other 'gore' images, such as screenshots from the original Doom. Those people also got banned.

This is where Jod comes into play. He posts in the most annoying faggot way possible "uhhh could you please stop posting gore???? thanks".

One of my friends decides to respond to this with with a simple yet effective retort: "Shut up, tranny." He didn't realize that Jod is, indeed, a tranny.

"uhhhhhhh could you not?????? it's 2018 and people are still saying tranny?????" the boygirl comments. And we're off to the races. Out of complete boredom, we decide to look at his profile. He has pictures of himself. He doesn't necessarily have the nicest hair. At all, in fact. It looks like ramen noodles. And that's exactly what we do, we make fun of him for having ramen hair. We call him Noodleboy. He can't take it. He's not happy. He's getting very pissed off. It's very funny.

If you're thinking to yourself "Wow, this asshole is bullying a dude for being trans! What did he ever do to you?", then I understand. You see, even if Jod wasn't a tranny, he'd still do some things I'd consider completely fucking disgusting. One user of Closedverse made a shitty ED knockoff called Closedverse Dramatica, and Jod had his own article. Somehow, the person who runs the wiki got his hands on images of Jod wearing diapers for sexual gratification. We do not choose to ask him about these, as we assume he's heard enough about them. We also learn his real name is Eric Davis, he lives in Virginia Beach, he's 14 years old, his dad has been dead for ten years, and he claims to suffer from depression. Of course, with depression most of the time being faker than professional wrestling, this can not be confirmed.

One of the many communities (essentially boards) of Closedverse is the Serious Discussion Community, where people usually post about how they're going to kill themselves because they aren't very good at school, and never go through with it. However, Jod is hardcore. He just straight up posts "I just ingested sixty pills. Goodbye." People are clamoring for him to call 911. This based fucking god just responds with "Now it's at seventy." Don't worry, however. It becomes a common theme that the only person who wants to see Jod's misfortune more than me is Death himself. After a little while presumably in the hospital, he's back.

Jod knows who I am at this point, and doesn't like me, however he's not very smart either. After getting ahold of his discord, I friend request him and the madman actually accepts it. At around this point, we find out of another Miiverse clone he's active on, called Cedar. Cedar has a cool feature where you can create a community, and thus the Make Fun of Jod community was born, and I wanted to use this dm conversation to tell him of it. If you care, the Make Fun of Jod community was just a bunch of noodle related shitposting. After quickly consulting my friends about what to say to make this funny, one suggests I ask him if he likes Huey Lewis and the News, ala Patrick Bateman. I actually went through the entire scene from American Psycho with him, and thankfully he didn't get the reference. However, instead of murdering Jod with an axe, I link him the Make Fun of Jod community. He just responds with "this is gonna get deleted soon." before blocking me. It did not get deleted.

Jod now has a new reason to live, an e-girlfriend. Her name is Red. She is eleven years old. She is a transgender eleven year old. This was our first clue that Jod was not just an exceptional individual, but a legitimately disgusting one as well. We express our displeasure with him, and he claims it's not pedophilia because he's also child, but also because 'he's a lot older mentally' as well. One user named Eb, who is also absolutely a lolcow, called out Jod on this. Eb is obsessed with Dylan Klebold. When the school shooter fan girls are calling you out, you have done something extremely wrong.

Eventually, Jod and Red break up and he once again loses his will to live, attempting suicide once again. He lives once again, although spends two and a half weeks in the hospital. Nothing really happens for a few months, until lighting fucking strikes. With his constant attempted suicides and clear selfishness, his mother, Debbie Davis, decides she's had enough and straight up says in a text message that he's dead to her and she's putting him up for adoption. Jod is put up for adoption via text message. Although Jod continues to exist, the story largely slows down for several months, until just recently.

You see, as any kid oriented thing online is, Closedverse is filled with pedophilia and cp. The owner of the site, Ariankordi, has talked before about how he has seventeen gigabytes of child pornography, and his second in command, PF2M, groomed a minor and, because of postings in another Miiverse clone, is actually responsible for child endangerment. However, no one has ever given a shit because they themselves are children, I believe 17 and 16 respectively. One of my friends sets up an operation to get most of these pedophiles arrested. Ariankordi is the first to go, and with his arrest also came the death of Closedverse. Closedverse is dead and gone, and so are most of the archives. PF2M got the domain from Arian and turned it into an FAQ of what to do now, but after his arrest, the domain was shut down.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming. We find out Jod, who has been adopted, is on a loli/cub/child porn discord server and has also blackmailed people out of nudes. Some of the shit he said there legitimately disgusted me. We also find out that he is a member of the legendary /r9k/ tranny cult, and has said before that he is a friend of Reiko's. We also learn more about his old home life, and that even though we had previously sympathized with mother Debbie, she's not the most innocent either. His dad, Wayne, was a generally smart, kind and generous man before he married Debbie, but afterwards she drove essentially him to an unexpected suicide. Jod is a victim of his circumstances, nobody is in the right here.

Jod has been reported to the FBI with an anonymous tip, and as I write this he has not been arrested yet, although we expect he get arrested soon. After learning about his report, Jod attempted suicide once again, this time by running into traffic. It also did not work. The moral of the story is don't be on Miiverse.

Hello. Im looking for more information on Jod because I know who he is as well and me and a certain group of people from a different community are making a case against him. If you could message me so we could talk about it I would appreciate it. (Cant figure out how to post on peoples profile or I would have just posted on yours. Im kinda retarded please forgive)

 

[Darwin Watterson]

Some of you oldfags may remember Marc Mues, aka muesproductions, or LookAtMues. He was a pretty big name in the “ranting community” on YouTube back in the day. Most of his videos were him taking the piss out of popular musicians, usually entitled “[so and so] SUCKS (and here’s why).” He had other topics too, though. Like talking about how stupid the concept of “cyberbullying” is, mocking some “dollar redesign project,” and taking the piss out of some dumb commercial for Toaster Strudels that he remembered as a kid. In hindsight it’s sort of lame, but I remember enjoying his content a lot.

...then he started changing. It was subtle at first, a few of his more “controversial” videos began to disappear. He explained it at the time as him polishing his channel to become a partner. Which, okay, that’s kind of a sellout move but whatever, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do, right? Either way, it was enough to make me start losing interest in his channel and he kind of dropped off my radar for a few years.

I randomly decided to check back in on him a long while later, and was disappointed to find that he’d gone all-in on the SJW crap, complete with getting himself a fat dangerhair girlfriend with unflattering tattoos and a septum piercing. I’m pretty sure she was largely responsible for his massive shift, because their dynamic largely points to her wearing the pants in the operation. Plus in some long, spergy twitter rant, he mentioned being “fortunate enough to meet someone who rubbed off on me,” and basically implied that she gave him shit for his “problematic” behavior.

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago, I decide to check back in on him again, and I find that he’s now a male e-thot. Yep, that’s right. He goes by “smolbootyenergy” on Twitter, and posts frequent videos on there “jiggling [his] bubble butt” while wearing thongs. As I mentioned, his girlfriend seems to wear the pants, because this seems to have initially been her idea. She’s also got an e-thot Twitter, going by the name “Pumpka Booty.”

I’d considered making a thread on him, but I don’t think there’s enough content for one. He still posts pretty frequently about SJW shit, but it’s all standard fare; the same stupid rhetoric that the other 99,000 SJWs regurgitate. It’d be redundant.

 

[Oskar Dirlewanger]

I know a fucker online named Jod. Jod is one of the most perplexing figures I've ever met, from one of the most autistic yet not really looked upon corners of the internet. Years ago, I i was very active on Miiverse, Nintendo's shitty social media site, and because of it I've made friends I'll never lose. Miiverse is now dead and gone, but people wanted it back. As such, two known hackers of Miiverse archived old Miiverse code and created Closedverse. There are dozens of shitty Miiverse clones out there, but for a long time, this was the most known one.

Closedverse had many differences from the old Miiverse, such as the ability to swear and post images that weren't from games, and you could even post gifs. This is where Jod comes in to play. I was on a server with several of my old Miiverse friends, and we all know Closedverse is a exceptional site with exceptional people on it, but we still go on it to see what goes on. Turns out someone posted the infamous Fukouna Shoujo 03 gif. If you don't know what that is, it's a gif of an anime girl getting skinned alive via lasers. Because this was a popular user, there was a major freak out by the eleven to fourteen year olds who use the site. That user later got banned. Jokingly, people post other 'gore' images, such as screenshots from the original Doom. Those people also got banned.

This is where Jod comes into play. He posts in the most annoying faggot way possible "uhhh could you please stop posting gore???? thanks".

One of my friends decides to respond to this with with a simple yet effective retort: "Shut up, tranny." He didn't realize that Jod is, indeed, a tranny.

"uhhhhhhh could you not?????? it's 2018 and people are still saying tranny?????" the boygirl comments. And we're off to the races. Out of complete boredom, we decide to look at his profile. He has pictures of himself. He doesn't necessarily have the nicest hair. At all, in fact. It looks like ramen noodles. And that's exactly what we do, we make fun of him for having ramen hair. We call him Noodleboy. He can't take it. He's not happy. He's getting very pissed off. It's very funny.

If you're thinking to yourself "Wow, this asshole is bullying a dude for being trans! What did he ever do to you?", then I understand. You see, even if Jod wasn't a tranny, he'd still do some things I'd consider completely fucking disgusting. One user of Closedverse made a shitty ED knockoff called Closedverse Dramatica, and Jod had his own article. Somehow, the person who runs the wiki got his hands on images of Jod wearing diapers for sexual gratification. We do not choose to ask him about these, as we assume he's heard enough about them. We also learn his real name is Eric Davis, he lives in Virginia Beach, he's 14 years old, his dad has been dead for ten years, and he claims to suffer from depression. Of course, with depression most of the time being faker than professional wrestling, this can not be confirmed.

One of the many communities (essentially boards) of Closedverse is the Serious Discussion Community, where people usually post about how they're going to kill themselves because they aren't very good at school, and never go through with it. However, Jod is hardcore. He just straight up posts "I just ingested sixty pills. Goodbye." People are clamoring for him to call 911. This based fucking god just responds with "Now it's at seventy." Don't worry, however. It becomes a common theme that the only person who wants to see Jod's misfortune more than me is Death himself. After a little while presumably in the hospital, he's back.

Jod knows who I am at this point, and doesn't like me, however he's not very smart either. After getting ahold of his discord, I friend request him and the madman actually accepts it. At around this point, we find out of another Miiverse clone he's active on, called Cedar. Cedar has a cool feature where you can create a community, and thus the Make Fun of Jod community was born, and I wanted to use this dm conversation to tell him of it. If you care, the Make Fun of Jod community was just a bunch of noodle related shitposting. After quickly consulting my friends about what to say to make this funny, one suggests I ask him if he likes Huey Lewis and the News, ala Patrick Bateman. I actually went through the entire scene from American Psycho with him, and thankfully he didn't get the reference. However, instead of murdering Jod with an axe, I link him the Make Fun of Jod community. He just responds with "this is gonna get deleted soon." before blocking me. It did not get deleted.

Jod now has a new reason to live, an e-girlfriend. Her name is Red. She is eleven years old. She is a transgender eleven year old. This was our first clue that Jod was not just an exceptional individual, but a legitimately disgusting one as well. We express our displeasure with him, and he claims it's not pedophilia because he's also child, but also because 'he's a lot older mentally' as well. One user named Eb, who is also absolutely a lolcow, called out Jod on this. Eb is obsessed with Dylan Klebold. When the school shooter fan girls are calling you out, you have done something extremely wrong.

Eventually, Jod and Red break up and he once again loses his will to live, attempting suicide once again. He lives once again, although spends two and a half weeks in the hospital. Nothing really happens for a few months, until lighting fucking strikes. With his constant attempted suicides and clear selfishness, his mother, Debbie Davis, decides she's had enough and straight up says in a text message that he's dead to her and she's putting him up for adoption. Jod is put up for adoption via text message. Although Jod continues to exist, the story largely slows down for several months, until just recently.

You see, as any kid oriented thing online is, Closedverse is filled with pedophilia and cp. The owner of the site, Ariankordi, has talked before about how he has seventeen gigabytes of child pornography, and his second in command, PF2M, groomed a minor and, because of postings in another Miiverse clone, is actually responsible for child endangerment. However, no one has ever given a shit because they themselves are children, I believe 17 and 16 respectively. One of my friends sets up an operation to get most of these pedophiles arrested. Ariankordi is the first to go, and with his arrest also came the death of Closedverse. Closedverse is dead and gone, and so are most of the archives. PF2M got the domain from Arian and turned it into an FAQ of what to do now, but after his arrest, the domain was shut down.

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming. We find out Jod, who has been adopted, is on a loli/cub/child porn discord server and has also blackmailed people out of nudes. Some of the shit he said there legitimately disgusted me. We also find out that he is a member of the legendary /r9k/ tranny cult, and has said before that he is a friend of Reiko's. We also learn more about his old home life, and that even though we had previously sympathized with mother Debbie, she's not the most innocent either. His dad, Wayne, was a generally smart, kind and generous man before he married Debbie, but afterwards she drove essentially him to an unexpected suicide. Jod is a victim of his circumstances, nobody is in the right here.

Jod has been reported to the FBI with an anonymous tip, and as I write this he has not been arrested yet, although we expect he get arrested soon. After learning about his report, Jod attempted suicide once again, this time by running into traffic. It also did not work. The moral of the story is don't be on Miiverse.

I think this is the best thing I've ever read in my entire life