💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Captain Ahab]

Don’t know how long it’s gonna stay up. YouTube and dailymotion took it down instantly. You should probably download it if you really wanna watch it. The quality is shit because Vimeo has a file size limit.

 

[Asperchewy]

Don’t know how long it’s gonna stay up. YouTube and dailymotion took it down instantly. You should probably download it if you really wanna watch it. The quality is shit because Vimeo has a file size limit.

https://vimeo.com

I downloaded it off Kodi awhile back, didnt think to upload it to Vimeo for you guys. Bravo cap'n.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

So, when is that 3rd stroke happening boys? I'm saying next year. Somewhere around March-August.

I'm going to take a bold stance here, I don't think Jack is going to have a third stroke. He's going to jump right to a fatal heart attack. Let's say early in 2021.

 

[Ohlongjohnson]

I'm going to take a bold stance here, I don't think Jack is going to have a third stroke. He's going to jump right to a fatal heart attack. Let's say early in 2021.

My money is on congestive heart failure.

 

[Adamska]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lAQmrUVUH64
Fat Jack slurs his way through a keto friendly fried chicken sandwich video. Do you want to watch a video where a stroked out moron spends almost 10 minutes literally weighing sandwiches? This video is for you.

I don't even need to see the video to know how he's going to rate these sandwiches. It's clearly going to be the one that weighs the most with the most food he can hork down his half paralyzed throat.

And since it was spoiled that he liked the Popeye's the most, then it clearly had the most "WeT MeEt!" on it.

Not the winner for an actual valid reason, like it having the best quality chicken or that the other ingredients like the bread handled it better or something. But naah, just literally due to how much more food this gluttonous suicidal pig can desperately consume in one item.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

I don't even need to see the video to know how he's going to rate these sandwiches. It's clearly going to be the one that weighs the most with the most food he can hork down his half paralyzed throat.

And since it was spoiled that he liked the Popeye's the most, then it clearly had the most "WeT MeEt!" on it.

Not the winner for an actual valid reason, like it having the best quality chicken or that the other ingredients like the bread handled it better or something. But naah, just literally due to how much more food this gluttonous suicidal pig can desperately consume in one item.

What probably happened is that Jack was in the mood to eat three chicken sandwiches, and figured "hey, I can scrape a couple bucks worth of YouTube revenue from this if I get them from three different fast food joints and call it a 'comparison' video."

 

[FemalePresident]

I'm trying to find an old video where Jack invited two mexicans to his kitchen. It was back when he made his cooking in the laundry room, so it's quite old.

I guess he wasn't scared of mexicans back then.

 

[SmileyTimeDayCare]

This may well be the single most pointless video on YouTube.

Don’t know how long it’s gonna stay up. YouTube and dailymotion took it down instantly. You should probably download it if you really wanna watch it. The quality is shit because Vimeo has a file size limit.

https://vimeo.com

Oof that was kind of painful to watch but unlike Jack's show there was a great payoff.

Spoiler: Jack gets fucked by Texas

Jack thought he was going to get a limo or something...else:

"I'm looking for something big and black"

Jack immediately lies by claiming he makes his sauce.

"Everyone who tried it at the LoCaL bUtChEr ShOp said it was the best sauce they've ever tasted"

Don't look on youtube for any reviews or you might find someone dry heave at the taste.

They should have asked him what percentage of his income is Tammy's.

HUGE YouTube cooking show!

Jack had a lot of balls to include purchased views in his viewcount on this show.

"We're going to have you cook for 100 people"

Oh no...Jack becomes a mass murderer.

Those people were saved by the fact that Jack was too busy masturbating all over the crowd to cook.

The best part was the guy pretending to pick Jack's plate then faking out.

It is hilarious that Jack thinks he had a chance and that it wasn't all setup.

"It's not the best sauce that I or anyone else has ever tasted."

Ahahahahahahahaha

Jack's sperg out at the end was excellent. He criiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiies!!!

"I respond to every email"

WHAT ABOUT YOUR COMMENTS???

Oh ya you have none because you disable them.

I would pay real money to hear what they said about Jack off camera.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

Here an idea, someone should suggest bear meat to him..knowing him he'll be cooking that raw as shit....hmmmmm Trichinosis.

That idiot doesn't even know how a bear looks like, he most possibly already would panic when he sees a Newfoundland dog because he thinks it's a Grizzly.

Oof that was kind of painful to watch but unlike Jack's show there was a great payoff.

Spoiler: Jack gets fucked by Texas

Jack thought he was going to get a limo or something...else:

"I'm looking for something big and black"

Jack immediately lies by claiming he makes his sauce.

"Everyone who tried it at the LoCaL bUtChEr ShOp said it was the best sauce they've ever tasted"

Don't look on youtube for any reviews or you might find someone dry heave at the taste.

They should have asked him what percentage of his income is Tammy's.

HUGE YouTube cooking show!

Jack had a lot of balls to include purchased views in his viewcount on this show.

"We're going to have you cook for 100 people"

Oh no...Jack becomes a mass murderer.

Those people were saved by the fact that Jack was too busy masturbating all over the crowd to cook.

The best part was the guy pretending to pick Jack's plate then faking out.

It is hilarious that Jack thinks he had a chance and that it wasn't all setup.

"It's not the best sauce that I or anyone else has ever tasted."

Ahahahahahahahaha

Jack's sperg out at the end was excellent. He criiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiies!!!

"I respond to every email"

WHAT ABOUT YOUR COMMENTS???

Oh ya you have none because you disable them.

I would pay real money to hear what they said about Jack off camera.

I know it's "reality" tv and so on but did he really didn't even know his basic business numbers like how much profit he made with his sauce? Seriously, Jack?
Tbh, it looked pretty obvious why he was there and it surely wasn't the sauce.
The guys also were right with their assessment of Jack WalMart success, it was really just a test balloon for WalMart to see if his sauce would sell.
I really thought when I heard it the first time that he's on WalMart that he did mean he's represented in all of their stores.
Geez Jack, you pompous idiot.

 

[Aaway]

I'm trying to find an old video where Jack invited two mexicans to his kitchen. It was back when he made his cooking in the laundry room, so it's quite old.

I guess he wasn't scared of mexicans back then.

i know which video you're talking about. those were his two friends back in CA who he would go on the food wars with

here are a couple videos of jack eating tacos in heavily mexican populated areas and interacting with the people as well

garrett alert!

now he's scared to even drive through any downtown because there's too many black/brown people. he'd go nowhere near downtown LA these days. moving to TN really turned jack into a massive pussy

 

[Fascist Frederick]

OFFICIAL JACK SCALFANI DEATH POOL

USER​	CAUSE OF DEATH​	EST. DATE OF DEATH​	KETO POINTS​
Murmur​	Heart Attack​	Early 2021​	500​
Wilhem Bittrich​	3rd Stroke​	Mid to Late 2020​	300​
The Wichita Lion​	Ham Sandwich​	May 11, 2021 (Ramadan)​	420​
FemalePresident​	3rd Stroke​	March, 2021​	666​
SmileyTimeDayCare​	Sepsis by Food Poisoning​	Early 2022​	456​
Religion is Dead​	Diabetes​	Mid 2020​	600​
Mesosalpinx​	Gangrene w/ side of diabetes and cholesterol​	April, 2020​	365​
Chamulum​	3rd Stroke and diabetes combo​	Early to Mid 2020​	148​
Mein Garten​	Coronary artery disease w/ an aneurysm​	Fall 2021​	1965​
Begemot​	Trichinosis​	April, 2020​	350​
Man vs persistent rat​	Stroke leading to coma and death​	August, 2022​	400​
Xochi​	Beaten to death by actual chefs​	January, 2021​	19,324,557,416​
captkrisma​	Stroke and heart failure​	Late, 2020​	1​
Waifuman Cooper​	Stroke​	June, 2020​	1776​
AnOminous​	Stroke​	Julay 4th, 2020​	2020​
Rod Dangerous​	Pulmonary embolism​	4th Quarter 2022​	25​
LordofCringe7206​	Salmonella Infection​	March, 2020​	2​
Captain Fitzbattleaxe​	Complications from gastric bypass surgery​	March, 2023​	500​
Suburban Bastard​	Berry Aneurysm​	January, 2021​	6969​
Dave Meltzer​	Murdered by Maury Davis for shoe related transgression​	Christmas Eve 2019​	202​
Adamska​	Cardiac Arrest​	June, 2022​	3350​
Stock Photo Hacker​	Shot by a rogue Mcdonalds manager​	April, 2020​	420​
Archie_Kimkicker​	Thrown off cliff by Tammy's bull (for insurance)​	February, 2020​	1488​
Redeemer and Destroyer​	3rd Stroke​	Summer 2020​	777​
Spasticus Autisticus​	Heart Attack from witnessing Tammy making love to a black gentleman​	February, 2021​	69​
Kamov Ka-52​	Stroke​	Mid 2020​	1488​
Pineapple Fox​	Gangrene caused by uncontrolled diabetes​	October, 2020​	30​
GandT​	Choked out by son​	June 21st, 2020 (Father's Day)​	420​
Mr. Manchester​	Complications from final stroke​	April, 2021​	201​
desu91​	Stroke w/ a side of head trauma​	Mid 2020​	9001​
ObeseScreaming- BlackMan​	Crushed by AS SEEN ON TV gadgets.​	Winter 2021​	42,069​
salmonellajack​	Head trauma via shoe​	April, 2020​	187​
Coconut Gun​	Natural causes while surrounded by loved ones​	Summer 2054​	0​
irishAzoth​	Cirrhosis​	Summer 2022​	1337​
GloriousRapeRabbit​	Heart attack after stroke and two year coma​	April, 2022​	789​
Chive Turkey​	3rd Stroke​	June, 2025​	7​
Mr._Blonde​	4th Stroke​	April, 2022​	300​
Scented Candle​	Smited by the good Lord for blasphemous onion ring sorcery​	February, 2024​	80,085​
Zaryiu​	Atherosclerosis​	2020 or 2030+​	2013​
Dirty Mug​	Chokes on a dick burger post 3rd stroke​	December, 2021​	1488​
Slimy Time​	Fatal stroke​	July, 2022​	1266​
feral cat #6385​	Mr. Hands'ed by Tammy's bull after a case of mistaken identity​	June 21st, 2020​	9001​
A Single Cheeto​	Tragic house fire​	Apparently Never​	80,085​
Raindrop3000​	Killed by one of Jack Jr.'s Christian rapper rivals, or heart attack​	December 12th, 2020​	10,000​
Jersey Devil​	Gas Gangrene from the 'beetus​	Winter 2021​	400,000​
AngeloTheWizard​	Suicide after marital separation​	Spring 2021​	1,000,000​

POOL'S CLOSED.
Now it's time to sit back and wait for the inevitable.

On the day of Jack's death, the entrant with the best guess will receive ALL Keto Points entered into the pool. On that day, judges will be appointed to decide on what constitutes the "best guess". Fairness is not guaranteed.

 

[SmileyTimeDayCare]

i know which video you're talking about. those were his two friends back in CA who he would go on the food wars with

here are a couple videos of jack eating tacos in heavily mexican populated areas and interacting with the people as well
https://youtube.com/watch?v=iOSEmXaaRWU
garrett alert!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ik9Eh8B_EqA
now he's scared to even drive through any downtown because there's too many black/brown people. he'd go nowhere near downtown LA these days. moving to TN really turned jack into a massive pussy

Well now he is feeble and knows it. In younger years Jack may have been able to fend off an attack but now he would be pulled back to the den and consumed.

 

[Aunt Myrna]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=lAQmrUVUH64
Fat Jack slurs his way through a keto friendly fried chicken sandwich video. Do you want to watch a video where a stroked out moron spends almost 10 minutes literally weighing sandwiches? This video is for you.

"...Chicken's a little discolored because I bought it yesterday, not today." Test already invalidated.

"I don't know, does that look real to you? You're gonna be making the call here, okay?" Hard to say looking through the ever present, greasy, out of focus camera lens. Literally can't see any texture on the cut face of the chicken, the quality is so bad. Luckily the Man with One Hand can't tell either. Excellent, very valuable review.

"...Uhh, chicken without any antibiotics ever. I didn't see that on any of the ..... wrappings of the other two. So this is, uhh, cleaner piece of chicken, as far as I know. I don't know if the other two places use antibiotics or not, it doesn't say on their packaging." Meaningless assertion if you don't actually know one way or the other.

"They cook this in a hundred percent refined peanut oil, which is a better oil to cook in." Oh, please tell me more about which fats are healthiest for deep frying.

"It looks like it's toasted, but it don't feel toasted. I wouldn't consider this very toasted." So a toasted roll holding a steaming hot piece of chicken wrapped up tight and then stored in the fridge over night doesn't stay 'toasty'? Okay, got it.

And the ONLY criteria for ranking at the end is the weight of chicken per sandwich, making Popeye's the best for having the most. This is retarded for a number of reasons, not the least of which is:

Popeye's: $3.99 for 3.9oz = $1.02/oz
KFC: $3.99 for 3.2oz = $1.25/oz
Chick-fil-A: $3.49 for 3.6oz = $0.97/oz

His previous go-to, Chick-fil-A, is still the best deal on a chicken-per-dollar basis (with this sample size of one admittedly).

Just about the only useful thing he said in this video was the 3 seperate times he reminds us not to put foil in the microwave. Bravo!

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

OFFICIAL JACK SCALFANI DEATH POOL

USER​	CAUSE OF DEATH​	EST. DATE OF DEATH​	KETO POINTS​
Murmur​	Heart Attack​	Early 2021​	500​

To enter, reply to this post with your guess at the cause of death, a rough estimate on when, and how many Keto Points you are betting.


On the day of Jack's death, the entrant with the best guess with receive ALL Keto Points entered into the pool.

This post will be updated as bets come in. Good luck to you all!

User : Wilhem Bittrich
CoD: Third and final stroke
Est. DoD: Mid to late 2020
Keto Points: 300

 

[Splendid]

OFFICIAL JACK SCALFANI DEATH POOL

USER​	CAUSE OF DEATH​	EST. DATE OF DEATH​	KETO POINTS​
Murmur​	Heart Attack​	Early 2021​	500​
Wilhem Bittrich​	3rd Stroke​	Mid to Late 2020​	300​

To enter, reply to this post with your guess at the cause of death, a rough estimate on when, and how many Keto Points you are betting.


On the day of Jack's death, the entrant with the best guess with receive ALL Keto Points entered into the pool.

This post will be updated as bets come in. Good luck to you all!

When you do this shit to a lolcow, they spite you by going on to live a long life.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

When you do this shit to a lolcow, they spite you by going on to live a long life.

That's okay. I don't necessarily want Jack to die. But he is going to die some day. Just thought we could have some fun in the meantime.

 

[The Wichita Lion]

User: The Wichita Lion
Cause of Death : Ham Sandwich
Date : May 11, 2021 (Final day of Ramadan)
Points : 420

 

[FemalePresident]

OFFICIAL JACK SCALFANI DEATH POOL

USER​	CAUSE OF DEATH​	EST. DATE OF DEATH​	KETO POINTS​
Murmur​	Heart Attack​	Early 2021​	500​
Wilhem Bittrich​	3rd Stroke​	Mid to Late 2020​	300​

To enter, reply to this post with your guess at the cause of death, a rough estimate on when, and how many Keto Points you are betting.


On the day of Jack's death, the entrant with the best guess with receive ALL Keto Points entered into the pool.

This post will be updated as bets come in. Good luck to you all!

User : FemalePresident
CoD: 3rd Stroke
Est. DoD: March 2021
Keto Points: 666

garrett alert!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ik9Eh8B_EqA

4:37 Dear Lord, for a moment I thought he was going to swallow the whole taco. I wonder if he reflects back to things like this when he looks at his purple arm.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

4:37 Dear Lord, for a moment I thought he was going to swallow the whole taco. I wonder if he reflects back to things like this when he looks at his purple arm.

Opern the Thunderdome Tacodome:
Two Tacos enter only Jack leaves.
At least he chewed the taco. Geez.

And no, I don't think he reflects on his past being the reason for his strokes. If he would have done that he most likely never have suffered the second stroke to begin with.

 

[AnOminous]

Oof that was kind of painful to watch but unlike Jack's show there was a great payoff.

"I'm looking for something big and black"

He literally says this.