Stupid things you thought as a kid - we were all dumbasses when we were kids

[ToroidalBoat]

I once thought the sky was a solid thing, like a ceiling.

 

[Mike R]

I used to think girls urinated and pooped out of the same hole.

This gives the term tongue punch her fart box a whole new meaning.

I thought college was my ticket to a better future.

If you had majored in something other than 'medieval gender studies' it could have been.

 

[Xitaens]

I only recently discovered a prostate is not the butthole

 

[ToroidalBoat]

I thought, I had magical powers.

If there's one consistent theme of childhood from this thread, it's that we grow up to discover the real world is a boring and disappointing place where dreams die. Aside from lolcows like CWC, who remain in that "everything is magical" state, that is.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I used to think the Nickelodeon studios in Orlando was where the cartoons where made. But in reality the place was just a glorified tv studio for tourists. It was still nice that I got to see when it was around but as far as I can tell none of the animation or development on the cartoons was done there like voice acting. That was done in either Burbank CA or worse by a bunch of over worked underpaid Koreans.

 

[EatPelican]

-I used to think every month after the moon got full, it would explode into a million stars and a new one would slowly form and that's why we have the terms "new moon" and "full moon".
-I thought every time I saved my gameboy game, I had to turn off and on the system right after or it wouldn't save properly.
-I got sucked into videogames so badly when I was little that once my house caught on fire and I didn't realize because I was too busy playing Pokemon Ruby. My mom had to run back in the house to get me because I didn't notice the smoke... or screaming.
-Bonus: my sibling's more of a dumb ass; the reason the fire started was because she tried heating a bagel in the microwave for 20 minutes.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

my sibling's more of a dumb ass; the reason the fire started was because she tried heating a bagel in the microwave for 20 minutes.

Not exactly a stupid belief, but did anyone have nightmares of fires after "fire safety day/week" in elementary/primary school?

 

[Kelpy Goyim]

Context: Up until the age of 12 I was raised in a tiny midwestern town with under 1000 residents.
Anyways, I remember sitting in class one day, probably around the 3rd grade and closely watching my peers as well as self reflecting when I came to the stunning conclusion that this tiny town and school had been specifically created for parents with more exceptionally minded children to raise them in a safe and accommodating environment. I don't recall how long I truly believed this but looking back its legitimately shocking to me that I had that as my "word view". Who knows, maybe we were all retards.

 

[Niggernerd]

I used to think cartoon characters just went to sleep after a new episode finished also wondered why they never went to the bathroom.

 

[CorteXY]

I thought 'elbow grease' was some magic salve you bought from a hardward store and you put it on your elbows to open jars, move furniture and shit..

 

[Count groudon]

Being the lovable, vidya-obsessed little shit I was, I fully believed that one day something would happen in my little town and I’d be able to step up and go on a big adventure to save everybody. Literally every single day and night for like 12 years I would stay on the look out for any suspicious shit I could follow to get said adventure started.

still kinda waiting tbh.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

I thought 'elbow grease' was some magic salve you bought from a hardward store and you put it on your elbows to open jars, move furniture and shit..

The first time I heard the term "elbow grease" was at the end of my 5th grade year. At this school, it was customary for students to help their teachers clean up their classroom for the summer at some point during the last week of school. On the day we cleaned up our classroom, one of the things we had to do was to wipe clean the surface of our desks with Windex or some other cleaner. Our teacher told me to use more elbow grease as I cleaned my desk. Having no clue what she meant, I placed my elbow on my rag and did my best to clean off my desk that way while wondering why she would suggest something that seemed less effective than cleaning it normally.

 

[DDBCAE CBAADCBE]

I thought being a good person would yield me lots of friends and a generally trouble free life.

 

[Dom Cruise]

Being gay was a side effect of having AIDS.

 

[Timmy Testicles]

i used to think that pepperoni was a vegetable.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

I used to think all bullets exploded when they hit their targets.

I also used to believe that jackets were warm because they were heated like an electric blanket.

 

[4str4staleatherbelt]

I burried raw popcorn thinking it'd become a popcorn tree.

 

[LolRaccoon]

I thought if you had one of those blank VHS tapes, you could write anything on the label and it would magically appear on the tape. I did that one of my dad's VHS tapes and I'm amazed he didn't kill me.

I also thought "blackmail" and "rape" were the same thing for some reason.

 

[Yidd Squid]

I thought Palestine was a country

 

[Foltest]

I thought that the UK still looked like in the 17th century.