💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%
  • Total voters
    1,556
a rare video where he actually posts the recipe in the description

also, he's still wearing that Tennessee football ring

 
I like to think that some higher power decided to take action to his right hand after he shoved mayo straight into his mouth.

Mayo.png
 
Kacchan said:
This man is a god damn danger to other's arteries, and not even in a delicious way. Unironically using Jack Scalfani's recipes is him coming to kill you.
Click to expand...

If Jack's recipes are fatal to your body, Aunt Myrna's recipes are fatal to your immortal soul.
 
Last edited:
Aaway said:
a rare video where he actually posts the recipe in the description
Click to expand...

And he actually seems to be pretty lucid and not too congested in this video. I would almost say this a a good video, at least by Jack standards. Except for the horrendous picture quality in the middle third of the video. How can someone who's been filming videos for a decade still be so shit at cinematography?
 
Aunt Myrna said:
And he actually seems to be pretty lucid and not too congested in this video. I would almost say this a a good video, at least by Jack standards. Except for the horrendous picture quality in the middle third of the video. How can someone who's been filming videos for a decade still be so shit at cinematography?
Click to expand...

The color temp through the whole thing is too cool. For stuff like a cooking video you'd want it a bit warmer than normal to create that inviting and appealing tone. There is also the insane amount of noise which given the lighting set up thats been shown before is completely unnessary. I'd guess that jack set the iso to something north of 1000 thinking that bigger numbers are better.

Tons of other stuff is wrong but temp and iso are the most ridiculous. Its pretty much the first things you'd learn about and such an easy fix. Literally all he has to do is change a couple things in the cameras menu.
 
Aunt Myrna said:
And he actually seems to be pretty lucid and not too congested in this video. I would almost say this a a good video, at least by Jack standards. Except for the horrendous picture quality in the middle third of the video. How can someone who's been filming videos for a decade still be so shit at cinematography?
Click to expand...
laziness

and in jack's case, also the fact that he's very stupid
 
Aaway said:
a rare video where he actually posts the recipe in the description

also, he's still wearing that Tennessee football ring

https://youtube.com/watch?v=LiHWW2iZiRg
Click to expand...

Recipe stolen without attribution from: https://hip2keto.com/recipes/keto-pumpkin-chocolate-chip-cookies/

"Not sure why there's salt on a cookie, but we'll follow the recipe and see how it turns out." How do you have a 10 year cooking legacy on YouTube and not know why there's salt on a dessert?

I don't know what the fuck he did to his camera, but half of the video is blurry like this:
1568424473178.png


"When you see them firm up, become cookie-like, take them out"
His review: "Sweet... Chocolately... Pumpkiny... ALRIGHT! I'm ready for Halloween!"
"Simple recipe.. You can do it with one arm tied behind your back!!!" He jokes.

Jack's cookies:
1568424712148.png


Recipe's cookies:
1568424745355.png
 
What’s that old boomer song that goes “Working too hard can give you a heart attack-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK!”?

Whoever wrote that should redo it for Jack.

“Eating keto lard can turn you into Jack-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK!”
 
Classic lazy ass Jack.

Regarding the noise and poor quality images. Normally when jack does a close up of the cooking (I use that word loosely), he will waddle round to the camera between filming and manually zoom the camera on the subject at hand (singular).

This time he doesn't bother and uses the editing software to zoom in and frame the shot hence it's lower resolution.
 
ObeseScreamingBlackMan said:
What’s that old boomer song that goes “Working too hard can give you a heart attack-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK!”?

Whoever wrote that should redo it for Jack.

“Eating keto lard can turn you into Jack-ACK-ACK-ACK-ACK!”
Click to expand...

Billy Joel's "Moving Out" is what you're looking for.

Jack doesn't bake, and you can tell. He doesn't know why you use salt, he sucks at mixing, and he says that he's going to wait for the cookies to harden. Jack is a huge fan of undercooked everything, but decides this is the recipie to wait before eating. Hard cookies aren't good, Jack.
 
RLS0812 said:
I thought you were joking about the mayonnaise cake
What The Fork Is Wrong With This Guy ‽
https://youtube.com/watch?v=UHStuZb6u3w
Click to expand...
Mayonnaise is mainly eggs and oil, so there's really not much wrong with using it instead of eggs and oil in a cake. There is something wrong with using all that butter on a cake that small, and there's something really wrong with eating a heaping tablespoon of mayonnaise straight from the jar.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom